to everyone and thank you all for the warm welcome
Lavatea - I for sure see the lines. If it is any consolation, my lines have never been super dark, even with DD and since I had had a miscarriage before her, I did 15 tests, same result and still didn't believe I was pg. I am thinking of you.
Monkey - I totally hear you. One of my SIL is pg now for the second time with twins by 'total accident' and is complaining how they will they ever afford it. I just want to smack her.
rcr - thinking of you and wishing you very best luck.
LTB - that is so sad. I know my DD really wants to be a big sister too and I am fighting back tears when I have to explain to her that we are trying very hard to make that happen.
Last night DH happened to mention to his mother that we had had 4 more losses since we last spoke to her and her reaction? " when is she ever going to just be grateful for the one she has" I've barely spoken to DH since b/c we had agreed not to tell her after the first 3 for the very reason that she really dislikes me and does not care much for DD ( forgets birthdays, no visits ever, etc etc). Sorry, little rant.
I re-read Coming to Term yet again. I know that for us, carrying another baby to term is out of our control and is now down to complete random luck ( because the testing shows no known cause, we have had multiple losses incl. 4 partial molars and b/c of our age 38) - it's just such a bitter pill to swallow.