***Bitter Sushi Ladies February 2011 Thread*** - Page 2

[Kyamo]

Originally Posted by kparker 

Oh my, if I had to take that many shots I'd rather call the whole thing off and not have any kids.  No joke.  I had to have my hcg shot last night for my IUI tomorrow morning and I couldn't do it, I started shaking and bawling uncontrollably and my husband had to take the syringe from me and do it for me.  I have such a phobia of needles it isn't even funny.  Anyone who has to do shots, hats off to you.  So brave!

Oh, can I have my blurb up top edited from January to February?  I didn't develop fast enough for a Jan IUI ;P

You have to give yourself your own trigger for IUI? At my clinic if after one of the US's they decide the follicles are ready, then they just do the shot right there before I leave. I have had to put up with a lot of needles (mostly 1897028734 blood draws!), but I have not had to stick myself. That would be scary! Good luck for your IUI tomorrow, mine was on Wed so I guess I am 2DPO.

[blueyezz4]

Originally Posted by rcr 

Monkey,  I'll update you.

Smiles, there are several types of shots. First you take a few shots in your stomach to make your body produce more eggs, which is a major goal. Then you add a shot to make you not ovulate, because they will be going in and retrieving the eggs (a surgical procedure) and if you ovulate too soon then they will loose them. 36 hours before retrieval you take an hcg shot to make you ovulate, but they do the retrieval before you actually do ovulate. Then they inject the sperm into them (if you are doing ICSI, which we are because DH has 0% morphology), and let them grow for about 5 days. Then they put them (we are hoping for two) back into you and you have to take progestrone shots for about 10 weeks if you get pregnant in order to hopefully prevent a m/c (I think that is why - not sure). Basically you want as many eggs to work with as possible, since many don't survive the 5-day growing period, many don't survive the spermination, and some will be lower quality than others. If you end up with more eggs than you need, you can freeze them to use later with frozen embryo transfer, or donate them. We are freezing them until we decide not to, and then donating them.

I think I got it right, Blue may know more than I do - this is my first time, and she has already been through it.

Oh, and Smiles, my DH has a similar attitude. He is fine with just DS. I am the one pushing for the fertility treatments (we have insurance that pays for it), and he just goes along, but if it were totally up to him we would not be ttc at all. Lucky for me, he goes along with what I want.

rcr - I think you explained it quite well!!!  Nice job!!!  Thanks for starting the new thread and I sure hope your work drama get straightened out.  That sucks!!!!

[LessTraveledBy]

Hi everyone,

I finally decided to book a time to begin more testing at the local health center. (This is how it works here, they will then refer me further.) I came to the conclusion that I don't want to have to look back and regret things when I am older. So... the earliest opening they had is on dd's 6th birthday. It is not a problem, but what a way to remind me that things have not been working. The doctor I will see is straight out of medical school. Of course I can try to tell myself that she has the latest information on everything. However, more likely, she will not even get half of what I will say...

Anyway, will have that appointment in 5 weeks. Then, I guess, she will send me somewhere else, where the lines are looong, so I have no idea when something will actually happen. I may then try to see which things I might want to pay for to have them done earlier or something. The goal is to do all the testing here that I can get done for free. If nothing is found, then we will reconsider a consultation with the immonology specialist in the USA. What's the point of paying for that (+ expensive blood tests) and then finding out the matter was something I could have found out about here. We can't afford the immunology treatment, anyway, so I am still not sure that I want to pay for all that stuff just to have closure. We'll see.

So far, here are my issues:

- hypothyroidism (meds at a good level and I feel good)

- Mucus never came back after dd, I only have a fraction of what I used to have

- Although everything points to the fact that I oculate regularly, I wonder why I never get a truly positive opk

- I have endless little cramps around ovulation and most of the TWW (never used to have this)

- I have issues with carbs... I do great when I eat vegetables, fish, meat, etc. I made the mistake of having a pizza last night and got a headache and got super tired, a total crash.

I do have hope that I will, with the help of tests and doctors, find out something, whether that results in more children or not.

[Sweet.Bee]

Originally Posted by Kyamo 

SweetBee - not that I am an expert, but I thought that spotting BEFORE your period can indicate low progesterone or LP issue, but spotting after your period was normal and no big deal. When you say "prolonged" how long do you mean? Like what CD is the last day of spotting?

ETA: I looked at your chart. CD 10? I don't think I would be really worried about that, but again, not an expert.

I have 1-2 days of spotting at the end of my cycle, but my LP is 12-14 days (most often 13), so I guess that's not so bad? I usually have a few days of spotting after real flow has stopped, which doesn't bother me really. It's just when I'm spotting on CD11 (which I am today), it seems not quite normal. Esp. since I had 2 days of nothing, then spotting again. And yesterday could maybe be "light". What do you all call light? There was quite a bit on the toilet paper when wiping and some in my panties but not soaked through or anything.

And I guess when I combine this weird spotting with my long cycles/delayed ovulation, I am concerned. Then there was the cycle with CD30 O and gearing up to O twice before that (the 2nd time with a + OPK even). Oh, and LessTraveledBy, I also get tiny pains/cramps/twinges around O and during the TWW. But I since my body takes a few weeks to O, I get them every few days before O, too.

Wow, I sound like a mess. 

Happy weekend, everyone! Hugs to everyone dealing with needles.

[lilmom]

LTB glad you are going to the health center. I hope they will be able to give you some answers!

SweetBee, I have had spotting like that happen to me, where I had a day where I thought my period was done but then it came back. But I don't think i've had 2 or more days of nothing and then more..that might concern me. But still, I don't think it's a progesterone issue given your good LP. Maybe just call the ob.gyn or midwife you use? Maybe Jane knows?

All this talk of shots has really scared me, ladies!

I am bummed tonight because I thought I was 9dpo but today I had some serious watery CM. So now I am pretty sure I didn't O after all. I hate having these crazy cycles, and this one is particularly long and wacky. I think I'm on CD71. We'll see though what happens. Maybe it was a fluke, my temps are still high. If I don't start on Wed. or Thurs, I will test, and if BFN and no period happen, I'll know I didn't O. Ugh. I don't even know what to hope for anymore! And we are going to California for a week, leaving this coming Saturday. So, I will not want to be having my period while we are there. It's going to be stressful no matter what because my IL's are so nuts. I am going to need lots of prayer/good vibes and I'm sure I'll be whining to y'all both before and after! Plus I am not a good flyer. And of course we're flying, because it's over 2 days worth of driving to get there. There will also, I'm sure, be questions about when/if we are having more children.

And we will also be seeing SIL, who insisted her DH get a vasectomy because, and I'm quoting here, she would rather drive a BMW than have any more kids. They only have one child, who they treat as a major nuisance. So it is very difficult for us to be around them! It's not that I want them to have more children, it's just their attitude toward their daughter and their attitude toward us. They make easily half a million per year, and still SIL says she can't possibly afford another child. We make nothing compared to that and desperately want another child, so they think we are crazy and we think they are! Sigh..

[Jane]

Spotting - my personal definition of spotting vs. bleeding (used for my pregnant clients), is that spotting doesn't hit the underwear, it's just a toilet paper thing. 

That said, a few hours of spotting at ovulation is normal. 

Spotting on birth control = also normal. 

Having a few days of panty liner use or spotting at the end of a period = normal. 

Not normal is spotting for days before a period. It's a sign that the luteal cyst is just not supporting the endometrium (the uterine lining) well.  That may point to inadequate egg production or maturation, or an inadequate response to progesterone that is being produced.  When this is an issue, you've got several issues with conception.  If the egg isn't matured properly,  it won't pop out well, and may not be present for fertilization.  Also, it may not have the right coating on it to allow sperm to penetrate.  Potentially, it might not have the chromosomes it needs if it didn't divvy nice.  When it reaches the uterus, the uterus lining might be days behind where it is supposed to be, not making a thick fluffy lining.  Then, it may start to shed early, disrupting the embryo implanting. 

That said, most women with an issue have ONE of those problems, not all of them.  But, if egg quality is the issue, all the progesterone taken after Ovulation isn't going to help.  If the issue is just premature shed of the lining, then progesterone is the magic ticket to delay menstruation until implantation occurs. 

It's normal to have a funky cycle once in a while.  Or, to have more funky cycles as you get older. 

You can also just pop a capiliary in the cervix with sex or a bowel movement, and look like you're spotting from the uterus, when it's merely harmless cervical spotting. 

I do have a bias towards doing things to maintain general health, but also to just get off the porch and get the $40 worth of clomid or the $50 of Femara and quit with the acupuncture and the chi balancing, and the flower essences, etc.  Or get the metformin or the thyroid medication that's required and go from there.  Some of my bias is financial.  Some is personal - it has worked for me to take medications not herbs or vitamins.  Some is professional - as a midwife, I see what gets my clients pregnant.  It's not acupuncture.  It's clomid.   If you want to hear bias, ask me about birth control!  I never see IUD failures, but everything else, I do not trust!  I can't be unbiased, so the best I can do is present my biases for review. 

[Jane]

OH, PS, Can I be moved to BFPs?  Due 10-3. 

[kparker]

Originally Posted by Kyamo 

You have to give yourself your own trigger for IUI? At my clinic if after one of the US's they decide the follicles are ready, then they just do the shot right there before I leave. I have had to put up with a lot of needles (mostly 1897028734 blood draws!), but I have not had to stick myself. That would be scary! Good luck for your IUI tomorrow, mine was on Wed so I guess I am 2DPO.

Yeah they had me trigger at night at home so that I could come in this morning 36 hrs later.  I guess it makes sense but it was so traumatic for me.  Ugh!  That being said, the IUI was weird.  I had cramping like AF style for a while, then off and on all day.  I got to watch them inject the sperm via ultrasound too, it was neato.  My first official REAL 2ww! :D  I'm already using cheapo hpts to watch the trigger shot fade from my system in hopes I will see a real bfp later before my blood test in 2 weeks.  Who knows!

[miriam_bat_avraham]

Posting from the waiting room at my RE. I don't have anything to contribute to the conversation, just hey, I'm here right now! Lol. Waiting on an ultrasound and hoping for two follies again! On Thursday I had one 13mm and one 11.5mm.

I must be weird because I actually like doing the shots! They don't hurt me, and I like anything active I can do myself as part of this process... SO much happens on the inside that we can't see or control, and so much is done TO me by friendly strangers, that it feels like this is something with clear, measurable results that I can do myself.

Kparker (my auto correct changed that to "opacity," haha)-- good luck with your first tww!!

[lavatea]

Sweet.Bee - I have spotting issues after my AF some cycles as well. Although according to Jane's definition, I guess mine would actually be light flow. This cycle was a good example if you want to look at my chart. Most of what I marked spotting, though, actually hit my undies and not just the TP. I'd say CD 4 and CD 10 were the only actual spotting going by Jane's definition.

Jane - Thank you for the detailed response re spotting and LP issues. Very helpful!

Hugs to all of you in fertility treatments right now. Sounds scary.

AFM - I woke up early this morning around 4 and really had to pee so I tested. It's only 9 DPO so I got BFN as expected. But my temp was up at 7 when I took it so maybe something positive is happening...

[Smilesarefree]

kparker - Good luck!!!!!  Hoping for a bfp for you, if it were me I'd test everyday as I am an extreme poas addict!

Jane - thanks for your expertise and congratulations!

Me, I'm just chilling out this cycle as I am on cd 21 but have no idea if/when I o'd so I am trying to take this month off from obsessing and am trying to prepare for the monthly disappointment now hoping that that will make it easier. 

[Sweet.Bee]

Jane, very interesting. Thanks. I guess that would make CD10 "light" by your definition. And I would gladly take the drugs to get me pregnant (or the needles or any of that), but my doctor wouldn't prescribe them when I asked flat out. I'm looking around at fertility specialists, though they sadly all have long waits. Oh, and congratulations!

lilmom, I sometimes get watery or EWCM in the 2WW, esp. near the end. Usually, I don't put it on my chart b/c then FF has a hiccup and turns my crosshairs dotted.

lavatea, do you know why your spot/bleed after your period? I'm curious if anyone has answers. 

miriam, I wish I could get a look at what's going on with inside of me. Must be so exciting to watch your follicles grow. Wow, I'm such a dork. 

[lavatea]

Originally Posted by Sweet.Bee 

Jane, very interesting. Thanks. I guess that would make CD10 "light" by your definition. And I would gladly take the drugs to get me pregnant (or the needles or any of that), but my doctor wouldn't prescribe them when I asked flat out. I'm looking around at fertility specialists, though they sadly all have long waits. Oh, and congratulations!

lilmom, I sometimes get watery or EWCM in the 2WW, esp. near the end. Usually, I don't put it on my chart b/c then FF has a hiccup and turns my crosshairs dotted.

lavatea, do you know why your spot/bleed after your period? I'm curious if anyone has answers. 

miriam, I wish I could get a look at what's going on with inside of me. Must be so exciting to watch your follicles grow. Wow, I'm such a dork. 

Unfortunately I don't have any answers, either. It doesn't happen every month, but it has happened multiple times. Even if it doesn't completely disappear and then reappear, I frequently have extended spotting/light flow so that my AF is like 9 days long, although the last 5 days or so only require panty liners.

[LessTraveledBy]

Originally Posted by Jane 

  If the egg isn't matured properly,  it won't pop out well, and may not be present for fertilization.  Also, it may not have the right coating on it to allow sperm to penetrate.  Potentially, it might not have the chromosomes it needs if it didn't divvy nice.  When it reaches the uterus, the uterus lining might be days behind where it is supposed to be, not making a thick fluffy lining.  Then, it may start to shed early, disrupting the embryo implanting.

Jane, what tests are used to figure out these sort of issues?

[Jane]

For lining issues, they used to do a biopsy at day 7 after ovulation and look at the tissue.  That's fallen out of favor as it wasn't very reliable. 

Then, they started testing progesterone at day 7.  That's pretty reliable, but not as fabulous as you'd imagine for a blood test, because of the issues with deciding when ovulation occurred, and also progesterone pulses throughout the day.  But a number under 10 is a pretty good sign that something is up. 

[monkeyscience]

Jane - thanks for the info. According to your definition, I'm doing a lot more light bleeding than spotting! Guess it's something else to talk to the doc about. :P

LTB - I hope you at least get peace of mind from your tests, if nothing else. But maybe you'll find something you can do something about!

[lavatea]

I'm in a Wicked Witch mood today. Won't be surprised at all if temp is down tomorrow.

[HopefullyMama]

Hi all!  I was wondering if I could join you in here?  After stalking for a month or two, I think it might be official:  I'm getting pretty bitter.  

Anyway here's my story.  DBF and I have been trying for a while, 10 months of no protection, 9 of those were definitely sex-during-fertile-period cycles, and 7 of which were making sure we dtd ALOT during fertile cycles with charting.  My best friend started trying, casually, about 2 weeks after we started "really trying"....she's headed into her third trimester now.  My BF's cousin just had her baby last night, and his NEPHEW just had TWINS (unplanned and unwanted) 4 months ago.  I can't shake the pregnant people wherever I go! 

I feel so very, very down about it all.  I love babies, and I was always the happiest person in the room whenever someone announced a pregnancy.  I was the one talking about how blessed they were, offering to babysit (and meaning it), etc.  About 4 months in, I would still get happy when someone new announced the big news, but would also feel that sharp little pain in the side of my chest, like a jealousy pen-knife sticking between your ribs.  Now, I just find myself weeping and feeling angry.  I've had to delete people on facebook (like the neighbor who is almost due with her second, when she never even wanted a first) and avoid people at family events.  I just feel.....awful.  And very alone.

How do you ladies do this for so long??

Do you find that you can push aside all the negativity?  Or do you allow the thoughts but distance yourself, like in yoga when they teach you to "witness" your emotions just don't become involved with them?  Or do you embrace them, live in that moment as long as you need to, and hope that it gives way to something better?  

I feel like I need some guidance or at least some commiseration.  I'm not a negative person by nature, but I am pretty intense in my emotions.  I guess this just goes along with that part of my personality.   

Thanks for letting me vent.  I really look forward to getting you know you ladies a little.

[BelovedK]

Welcome, HopefullyMama I have gone through bitter, to apathy, but I have been here a long time. I hope your stay is short and sweet. There is a lot of support here, so I'm glad you found us

[Smilesarefree]

Hi Hopefully Mama,  hopefully having a place to vent can help you feel not so alone, I know what you you mean about the physical pain, for me it is like someone punched me in the stomach everytime I find out someone else is expecting, it's funny how emotional pain can become physical pain.  I think I have found a way to try and look at the good things in my life and that helps me get by, not that I don't still cry myself to sleep some nights.  I have good days and bad days and I try and make the most of the good ones, that seems to make the bad days not so bad - that probably makes no sense.  Here's to hoping your stay here is short!!!!