I'll definitely keep an eye out then. My cycles aren't terribly long right now (last time I o'd at CD 19-20), but I'm glad to know I should keep an eye out. I was diagnosed PCOS because of irregular periods in the past, no periods during this attempt (see below), two miscarriages, weight gain, acne and increased and dark facial hair, they said that was enough to diagnose me, and that there wasn't any kind of real test. I had an ultrasound that came up fine, but she said cysts aren't always present in PCOS. I don't know much about how all this works, so I've just been going by what she said. I had very thorough thyroid and other various hormone testing over the past few years because of some very random weight gain, and sudden hair loss (the doctors have no earthly idea why I started losing my hair in clumps a few years ago, but it grew back after I shaved it all off and started on evening primrose and women's rogaine, and I never had that problem again, so they've given up trying to figure it out), so I'm a little confident, but I know how that stuff can change. I've been poked and prodded all over for years by various doctors looking for everything from lupus to various cancers, to hiatus hernias with rare and bizarre symptoms and beyond, the most they've found, besides PCOS, is nonalcoholic fatty liver disease (likely from the bipolar medication lithium, which helped me until I could get my life stable, and therefore my mental health), psych meds with odd reactions (I finally started losing weight when I went off them to start TTC) and some shattered cartilage in my knee caps that never healed properly that may have been contributing to weight gain and may be responsible for my leg and back pain. My doctors (and I've seen several now) have shrugged in answer to my questions more times than they've answered them, and they're really confused by all my medical issues getting better all of a sudden over the past couple months.
As for cycles, when I was young, my periods were irregular. I would get two periods in one month, or no period for two months, etc. my cramps were bad enough that I would have no choice but to call in to work at times. The one time they threatened to fire me for it, I wound up doubled over on the floor, and then wound up in the ER after just two hours at work. They gave me a heavy painkiller of some kind and sent me home to sleep for a couple days. My boss at the time was a very cool boss who apologized and promised to listen in the future, she even gave me an "I'm sorry" greeting card. When my PCP heard about it all, she put me on birth control to level it out, and I was fine from then on (and a stellar employee who never called in sick) until I had to go off from losing my insurance. I was young and stupid, and lived a bit reckless for a while, and had my first miscarriage (improper condom use). A few years later I had a second one, and went back to the pill after that. My periods were irregular, but still frequent enough then, no difference from earlier in life. I met my husband later that year, once I had cleaned myself up a bit, we dated for a year, were engaged for a year, and after the honeymoon we put the pill away and decided we were ready to start TTC. 6-7 months later, I still hadn't had a period. They got me to have a period on Provera, and then to O on Clomid. That's where I am now, needing to break from Clomid to see if my husband needs anything (he got forgotten in all of my own mess). It's quite possible the miscarriages were the result of my bad choices, which I don't really want to describe on here right now, or they could be related to my current problem.
My Provera use made me depressed, hormonal and made my hips and lower back hurt, but I used coping skills I acquired while dealing with bipolar disorder (type 2 with mostly manic states, my coping skills focus a lot on breathing exercises and remaining calm while waiting for the problem to pass, took me years to learn, and I still have trouble, but it's so helpful), and locked myself in my apartment for a while and I got through it ok. It's a frightening drug. A friend of mine was on it for a while and it made her paranoid and suicidal. I was terrified to take it, but wanted to give it a chance. I can't imagine how it would be trying to take it while not being a stay at home housewife type.
I really appreciate the encouragement. I know it's not impossible, and I really don't even know a lot of people with infertility issues, and I know those divorces had all kinds of other problems, from infidelity to "surprise honey! I just quit my job and dropped out of college and want to lay around on the couch all day every day!". It's just difficult sometimes when you don't hear success stories very often. I also just feel awful sometimes because I spent so much time preparing for pregnancy, childbirth and child rearing but now I'm at a loss with infertility stuff, and there's so much and often conflicting information out there, I find it hard to know who to trust and where to turn. My doctors don't even always tell me the same thing, or tell me things in a confusing way that makes it hard to figure out what they mean.
On a brighter note, it seems the number one person besides my husband that I would want around for my home birth is wanting to be a doula, possibly later a midwife.
I hope she goes through with it, I know it'd be perfect for her.