parenting books for this age ?

[quietserena]

Are there any books that are more AP style that are appropriate for 4+?  I'm in uncharted territory here! :D

[karin95]

I'd like to know this, too!

[amis2girls]

Have you tried 'How to Talk So Kids Will Listen'?  The series like 'Your Five-Year-Old' are also good.

[meemee]

what are you looking for?

are you looking for info to understand what your child is going through? what is age appropriate behaviour? why are they behaving the way they are?

then if you get a hold of Louise Ames Bates - your X year old series youve hit a goldmine. from 1 to 12. the best book series on this subject.

but if you are looking for how to discipline your 4 year old then i cant help you there. i dont know if there are any age appropriate books. the Louise Bates books were written about 60 years ago so not the best for disciplining. 

[elisheva]

I second "How to Listen so Kids Will Listen" by Faber and Mazlish. Also, Gordon Neufeld's "Hold On To Your Kids" is a must have at any age. 

[meemee]

Originally Posted by elisheva 

I second "How to Listen so Kids Will Listen" by Faber and Mazlish. Also, Gordon Neufeld's "Hold On To Your Kids" is a must have at any age. 

while these are really good books i think they are still too old for a 4 year old. 

[elisheva]

Really? My ds1 is 4 and I love, love, love them. Yes, they aren't discipline techniques or developmental milestones but they are great parenting books. I use stuff from "Hold On To Your Kids" every.single.day with all my kids. Too old? Nope.

[meemee]

Originally Posted by elisheva 

Really? My ds1 is 4 and I love, love, love them. Yes, they aren't discipline techniques or developmental milestones but they are great parenting books. I use stuff from "Hold On To Your Kids" every.single.day with all my kids. Too old? Nope.

oh i agree they ARE excellent books. but i didnt really start using either books till she was 5 or 6. however having read them when she was 3 it really helped me define my philosophy for the older child. 

if anything the techniques suggested in playful parenting i found most useful at that age. however dd also started prepuberty at 5 and that's when the listen book became my bible. 

[elisheva]

Originally Posted by meemee 

if anything the techniques suggested in playful parenting i found most useful at that age. however dd also started prepuberty at 5 and that's when the listen book became my bible. 

Yes to playful parenting. Prepuberty at 5? Gulp. Not to hijack, but how did you know (asking for reference, not out of judgment)?

[meemee]

i didnt at that time. 

and prepuberty is not what you think it is.

because dd was going thru major emotional issues. she was totally pmsing. extreme tantrums. totally 'not her style' of behaviours - all very out of line with her character. it was i had no idea who this child was. however she was deeply conflicted. she didnt want to do those things but she could not stop herself. it was a phase of a few months. and at the end of it - close to 6 she got body odor. oohooo hoo!!! STINKY adult BO. 

now i researched online to find out what was happening. yeah huge stuff going on at home. gpa and gma dying but still that did not seem plausible. no food sensitivities. did all sorts of tests. 

finally her behaviour (esp. her being torn inside) made me ask and post around. and that's when my RL friends spoke to me of what i call preteen angst. i think it also coincided with dd's emotional growth spurt. some of their children remember giong thru this temselves adn they described how horrible it was. worse even than teenagers. and my friends asked me to keep my eyes open for signs.

and sure enough - BO. 

thru research i discovered anytime between 5 and 7 is the prepuberty stage - which mostly is about mood swings and at the most BO. i also found out that most kids really start BO by 4th grade. 

it is NOT precocious puberty. it is the first step puberty. 

i started breast buds at 9. dd started them a couple of months ago at almost 8 1/2 (she loooves them btw). hoever everything else i started much later. menarche at either 11 months.