I know that you've already gotten through a lot of it, but I can relate to your post so completely that I had to share what has made a huge difference for us. A couple years ago, my house was much the same- I got tired of being exhausted by trying to stay on top of it.
Less stuff- You have so much stuff in your home that you are trying to hold back the tide each day. I mean, in one of those pictures, there are three computer towers- Anything not being used every day should be stored in a single space away from the main living/playing area or sent down the road.
Limit Access to Stuff - If I let the kids take out toys freely and without my help, they wind up strewn across the house. I have a few that are left out, and I rotate these on a regular basis. They can certainly play with other toys, but they need to ask for me to get them and they need to put them away as soon as they are done with them. (The toddlers need help with this, my oldest is pretty self-sufficient.)
Don't Try to Play Catchup - All the laundry? Toss it in bags and take it to the laundromat. Get it all done at once and while you do it, take a hard look at what clothes you really need. Stop and donate any clean clothes you don't really NEED before you head home. The house and organizing- I would spend a little money to hire someone to come in to help get caught up if that is possible- or enlist family. Screw pride, you deserve rest, peace and time for yourself.
Accept your husband as the person he is, but don't allow him to undo all the hard work. Things left lying about should be put away. There is no need to make a big deal about it, simply pick them up, toss them in a tote or a box, and put it in the afore mentioned storage area. If they aren't looked for within a couple months- they can go down the road. He'll be upset, but he'll learn. He has to share the house with other people, you are his wife, and not his maid. He needs to be responsible for his own stuff.
IMO, if you can't do a 10 minute walk through of your home to get everything put back in it's rightful place, there is too much stuff out and about.
Dishes- wash as you cook, and after every meal. If you have a dishwasher, never leave clean dishes in it, and always wash when it is full. If you don't, wash everything as it is used. For me, I had to set aside a single set of dishes- just enough for everyone to have a meal together. Extra dishes in the cupboard meant I could put of washing them- then I was overwhelmed and didn't want to wash them at all so I started at them as they took over the sink and counter. I fill the sink with warm soapy water before I start cooking and pots and pans go in as I cook. Dishes go in the dishwasher. If i won't have enough to do a full load, I will simply wash them up after a meal. I like to keep a pretty wooden drying rack on the counter beside the sink.
It's overwhelming to get started- but- once I created a more calm environment in my home, my kids started settling into better rhythms, and started sleeping better. When they are up while I get things done, they help me. Their behavior improved! If a chaotic house makes ME feel bad, imagine the chaos and unrest it creates in young minds.