post #41 of 41
2/15/11 at 4:27am
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElliesMomma View Post


i think this is actually it. my husband DOES want her to obey him (even when what he says is illogical). and i am not from that school of parenting. i am a lot more flexible, and open to considering alternative ideas (which our daughter -- being bright and firstborn -- is more than happy to suggest).

 

i talked with her tonight as i was getting her to bed about the whole carrot incident. she said she didn't want to have the baby carrot for her or her brother, because it is more likely that her brother (who is 17 months old) could choke on the baby carrot, being that it's slippery and small, than he would on a big carrot, being that it is rough and quite large. i asked her what Dad said when she said that and she said that he said that was silly. which may or may not have been his actual words. but her logic does sound like something that i would have said or gone along with. i can see where she got frustrated. 

 

and i guess that, truth be told, i'm more sympathetic to her for having to deal with him standing in her way of a big carrot for her and her brother, than i am to him for having her refuse to obey him  by doing what she determines to be unsafe.

 

 


 

Then I think the issue is that you need to get onto the same page, and you each need to compromise.  It is possible that your DH doesn't feel respected by either you or the children - which would make it even harder for him to parent in a way that you feel is appropriate. 

 

 actually think it is kinda silly to say that a child would be more likely to choke on a baby carrot than a big carrot - the problem isn't that one is slippery or one is rough, its that once they are bitten into they aren't all that easy to chew.

 

ETA - I just wanted to also say that since your DH has already raised children, his opinions should be taken seriously - as these 2 little ones are also his.  He might also take very personally if you tell him that the way he did it before was the wrong way, or something b/c he might take that to mean that you don't like his older children.  I also think this conversation should be in private, away from your children - they don't need to know that you disagree on parenting.  That will just set them up to play you 2 against each other.

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