how do you say No/Not now to a 23 month old?

[kfillmore]

I love nursing and so does DD(!!!) but it is getting hard because I want to say no to her sometimes. I don't say it that often but ,you know nursing in the car is a drag, nursing when we are trying to get out of the house asap is hard. She cries so much sometimes if she can't. I can't think of when else but you probably get what I mean. I want her to be able wait or get out of the habit (such as the car nursing). Any advice?

[3girls1boy]

23 months is not too early for her to have limits explained to her.  She's not always going to like it, but that's all part of parenting.  I also think it really helps to remember to offer snacks and drinks often (every two hours), 'cause sometimes they do ask to nurse because they are hungry or thirsty and once they've asked to nurse, it's too late to offer something else.

I think it can also help when you say no/not now, if you tell her a definite time and place later for yes/now.

[LaughingHyena]

I think it can also help when you say no/not now, if you tell her a definite time and place later for yes/now.

I defiantly found this with mine. They seemed to get "we can sit in the comfy chair when we get home" or something like that.

[CheriK]

I've found with toddlers that being proactive helps more than trying to say "not now".  If your DD is relatively predictable about asking to nurse at certain times, then you might be able to distract her from asking more easily than convince her to wait when she's already decided she "needs" to nurse.  So you might explore why she asks at particular times and try to find some other way to meet that need.  Car - boredom?  Hunger?  Dislike of the car seat?  Can you have a box of special toys that you only offer during car rides & only if she's not nursing?  Or have a sipply cup of water and a snack ready to go as soon as she's strapped into her seat?  Or maybe she needs a bigger seat so she's more comfortable.  Leaving the house - does she dislike transitions?  Feed off your stress when trying to rush out the door?  Need to have a better idea of where you're going? 

If there are certain times you just don't want to nurse, like in the car, it's fine to set a firm limit.  Will she like it?  No, of course not, but she will learn that this is the new rule and get used to it.  Or if it's too upsetting to her, you may realize that it's more important to her to have that nursing than it is for you to avoid it (but give it some time to see if she adapts).