Tips for getting the kids to daycare in the morning? (and keeping your sanity?)

[LittleGriff]

We just switched from a full-time nanny to daycare this week ... phew, the transition has been rougher than expected. My husband does drop off and I do pick up. Neither of which is going well but I think drop off has the most potential for improvement. (Pick up faces transportation logistical challenges which are beyond easy fixes ... ;)

Our son is 3.5 yrs. Daughter is 22 months. She is fairly agreeable but dead set on not wearing a diaper (she doesn't wear one at home but uses one at daycare in case she has an accident) and getting her into one is a huge wrestling match. Our son has never been a morning person, to say the least. So while DH tries to strap DD into a diaper, DS is wailing and refusing to get out of bed. (Shouldn't he be able to dress himself by now??!) By my husband's description the morning involves lots of screaming and crying (mostly DS), tearing off of clothes, wanting to try multiple outfits (DD), wanting to eat breakfast at home last minute rather than daycare, refusing to get out of bed, refusing shoes, etc. Since they can eat breakfast at daycare, all that matters is getting them dressed and getting them in the car. Ideally this would happen by about 7:30 a.m.

This seems so doable! Some of my thoughts were leaving them in their pj's if necessary and changing them at school, waking them earlier to get some quiet non-prep time with dad, dressing DS in a day outfit for overnight if he's really opposed to changing in the a.m., putting on Elmo or some sort of distraction and dressing them in front of that (not my favorite tip).

What helps you get out of the house in the morning and stay on good terms with your little ones? I can't believe how stressful this week has been. Sheesh. I was hoping this parenting stuff would get easier some day ... ha ha.

[Alyantavid]

Take my advice with a grain of salt.  Dh does the morning stuff and drop off at our house right now.  And mine are a bit older.

However, I did it this morning and I do try to do what I can to make their mornings smoother.  In the evenings, we get everything possible ready.  Coats by the door, back pack ready, lunch made (or at least thought of), clothes picked out.

I get up at 5:30 and get myself all ready.  While the car's warming up, I wake up the kids and dh if they aren't already up.  Once they're awake, the boys come up with their clothes and sit for awhile to wake up.  Then they have some juice and get themselves dressed.  After that, they get themsleves some breakfast, brush their teeth and they usually have a few minutes to play before they need to leave.

I do have to say, this is all dh.  Mornings are awful for me, but for him, the kids just do what they need to do without any trouble at all.  I hated doing mornings because we'd all end up stressed and starting our day out badly. 

My only advice is to get up earlier and make you (or your dh) is all ready to go.  And wake the kids up early enough that they have some downtime before they have to rush off somewhere.  Our daycare (and school) does breakfast but both boys need a small breakfast before we leave.  You can plan that out the night before too.

And cut yourselves some slack.  This is brand new for all of you.

[MeepyCat]

I recently took over part of our split morning routine from DH.  It can be complete chaos.

I agree, get as much ready the night before as possible.  And I admit I have chosen to control parts of the process myself rather than making almost 4 yo DS use his various self-care skills.  Me putting his shirt on is faster than him picking one out and then putting it on himself.  Ask as few questions as possible.  It's not "red shirt or blue shirt?" it's "Let's put you in your blue shirt today!"

Dropping a 22 mo off at the DCP in her pjs is fine.  Dandy.  I've done it myself and I'm sure I will again. 

While both my kids get breakfast at daycare, they also both wake up hungry.  DD (17 mo) gets a bottle first thing, and DS gets something he can take in the car - a muffin or a granola bar or a mug of oatmeal.

While I'm getting the kids and myself ready, they are generally romping all over the bedroom, DD dripping formula, DS turning the radio on and off, messing with my knitting and running through my collection of DTWOF (that piece where Toni gives birth totally covers me on where babies come from).  If I had a tv handy to give them a *stationary* distraction, I absolutely would. 

Boots and shoes and jackets are by the door, god alone knows where the hats and mittens they wore yesterday are, but I can usually put my hands on a set.  Invisible friends ride in my pockets, and no toys go from home to daycare (or vice versa), so there's no need to go back inside once we're out.

[Areia]

My DD is 3.5 and NOT a morning person at all.  She's excited to go to preschool, but just doesn't want to leave yet

I agree that getting everything the ready the night before is  important.  My goal is to get her up, wash her face and brush her teeth and out the door.   She loves to pick out her own clothes so we usually do that Sunday night for the week. Like a previous poster, if she's super slow or cranky, I don't mind helping her dress.   If I know we're going to have to leave extra early (bad weather, etc.), I'll dress her in comfy clothes for sleep so she can just get up and go -    yoga pants, leggings, sweats, comfy dress, etc.  These are normally the types of things she'd wear to preschool anyway.  

I get her up early enough for breakfast, but she usually doesn't want to eat until an hour after she's awake so I'll make a breakfast sandwich she can eat in the car (using cookie cutters to make the sandwich fun).  I keep a old hairdresser's smock in the car that I throw over her and the car seat to contain messes.  Also,  we're stuck in traffic on the way home so I stash homemade granola bars, dried fruit and those little packets of milk that don't need to be in the fridge in the car and sometimes she'll have some for breakfast.  We also have one of those hand held computer games for preschoolers that she's only allowed to use in the car.  She loves it so that will sometimes motivate her to move along.

Will you DD tolerate pull-ups since they look more like underwear?  If not and if you think she can stay dry during the commute, I'd send her in underwear along with extra clothes.  If you give her teachers a heads up, they'll ask her more often than usual if she needs to use the bathroom and during potty time, they'll make sure she's toward the front of the line (at DD's school the kids still in pull ups line up last unless they have to go right away).

ETA:  I've found that the TV is not  helpful with my DD.  She just wants to linger even longer to watch more of it.

[Skippy918]

DH normally does drop off, but I'll do drop off when he's out of town.  I get him up around 6:40 after I'm already dressed and everything is loaded in the car.  It's pretty easy to get him ready since he's so groggy that it only takes about 10 mins.  He'll have his breakfast at daycare which is less than 5 minutes away. 

[poorlittlefish]

I haven't read all the replies but this is what I do with my 3 year old and my 8 month old--at night, after baths, we put them in clothes that they will wear the next day.  My 3yo HATES getting her pj's taken off in the morning so this is what we do.  I don't admit this in real life to anyone but that alone has made the mornings so much easier.  I also have bought Go-Gurt and Nutrigrain bars and I get her milk sippy full and lure her into the car with breakfast and milk (she eats a real breakfast at daycare).