What age for your own children to be the executers of your estate?

[Lisa1970]

My oldest is 16 yrs old. Right now, we have a relative as the executer. I really want to, as soon as possible, switch my own children to be the executers. I don't want outsiders doing it. I feel my own children should have that control. I understand because they are underage, right now is not the best time. But what age? We were thinking as soon as the first two kids turn 18, we will change it. Our second child will be 15 in a couple months. What do you all do or recommend?

[~Amy~]

My husband is the oldest child in his family & his parents made him their executor (and his youngest sister's guardian as well) when he was around 23 or 24, I believe.  He definitely could have handled the responsibility sooner, but that was just when they decided to redo their will (they still had guardians listed for all 3 kids and only 1 was still a minor by then).

[Areia]

The situation is a bit different, but my parents have some money set aside for DD that we will control until she is 25.  They felt that 18 was too young.  She might be really irresponsible at that age (she's only 3 now) or maybe just not be able to make thoughtful decisions in terms of money. 

You know your kids best.  If you think the 16 year old has a good head on their shoulders and you talk to them about the responsibility, then I would change it to them once they hit 18.  Otherwise, I'd probably wait until around 25.

[slylives]

I am an estate planning attorney and there are a couple of important issues to consider:

Assuming that your children are the primary beneficiaries of your estate, it can sometimes create a conflict of interest if one of your children is the executor, and the others are not. (Not that I recommend co-executors, in fact I would caution you against that!)  Depending on the relationship between your children, having one child be the ultimate decision maker can present problems (e.g. if more than one child wanted the same piece of property as a keepsake, etc.)  One way of minimising the risk of this is to draft a list of specific gifts that you would like to make from your estate - this should lead to less squabbling. (And although your children's relatiosnhip may be great now, it's amazing how even the smallest amount of money can turn kith and kin against each other.)  The more specific you are, the less "extra" stuff there will be over which the executor can exercise some discretion. More executor discretion = more potential for difficulties. Whereas if you lay out specific instructions for your estate, the executor can always take comfort from "I'm just doing what Mum and Dad asked me to do."

Also - although selecting someone as an executor is an honour in many ways, it is also an enormous responsibility and can be really a burden. Honestly, I am glad that I have not been appointed executor of my parents' estates. Depending on the future plans of your children (are they planning on going to college in another state, joining the military or the doing voluntary service abroad?) you may want to choose someone else who is has a little more time on their hands, and someone who is close by. Good luck with your decision.