The boobie tantrums

[Amber Lion]

DD was BFed on demand until she turned 2 a few months ago & then, for my sanity, I started setting some limits.  She was still nursing 12-20 times in a day somedays & I couldn't handle it! 

We have basically cut out falling asleep on the boob at bedtime, which is the best thing I've ever done.  She has just a few sips & then we snuggle to sleep.  6:30 or when the sun comes up, whichever is first, is when she can nurse again.  I'm a full time student, so most days I'm away for at least a good chunck & she takes the majority of her naps with Gramma.  When I'm with her I let her nurse as much as I can stand, but I frequently make her wait until I'm done eating or I can get to a stopping place in whatever activity.  Sometimes though, I just can't nurse anymore & I tell her she drank all the milk & we have to wait until the boobie makes more.  A lot of the time she doesn't like it, but is able to move on & later I will let her nurse again.

My question is what to do about the tantrums resulting from saying "no" or "wait until I'm done with XYZ"?  My child can throw a whopper of a tantrum - longest one to date was 45 minutes of thrashing & screaming & throwing herself all over the room.  Nursing will calm the tantrum & when she calms herself enough to ask for it I let her b/c I know that she's still learning about how to control her emotions & needs help calming down after flying off the handle like that.  However there are sometimes when I just can't nurse (like when I'm in the middle of cooking dinner) or the thought of nursing is revolting like when she's already nursed 5 times in the past hour.  If she throws a tantrum then, I really don't want to "give in" so to speak & let her have boobie.

I'm conflicted b/c on the one hand I want to be firm about the fact that she can't always nurse.  On the other, I'm realizing that when she is in the midst of a full blown tantrum it is no longer about getting what she wanted, but being able to reign in her emotions.  What I've been doing is trying to help her calm down enough to be able to ask me to nurse without crying/screaming it at me, but that doesn't always work.  I feel like in the interest of trying to be firm about my nursing boundaries I'm prolonging her tantrum. 

Any advice on how to deal?  I know I can't be the only one whose kid has thrown tantrums over nursing boundaries.