Talk me out of turning dd forward facing! Small update - Page 3

[Ldavis24]

Ok so I am not going to tell you to turn her or not. Totally your decision. Full disclosure DD is going to be 20 months in a few days and I do sometimes turn her forward facing and have been since she was about 17 months. DD hated the car seat from day 1. Screamed every time we put her in it and more than once I drove home with tears on my face from her hysterics.  I think it is really easy for people to sit and type that you should just deal with your kid screaming and learn to ignore, I actually read someone suggested wearing ear plugs?? Seriously? I would never ever do that. What if your DD started gagging or choking or something and you had no idea because you didn't hear it?

I know a lot of you mamas will understand what I mean when I say it is physically painful to hear your LO shrieking their heads off. I visit my mother often with DD and they live over 3 hours away. The car rides when she was around a year and still screaming her head off the entire drive were absolute torture for me and her as well. She was panicking and truly hysterical. 

Now that DD is older she is much much more happy in the car and she does most of the time ride RF. If we are having a really bad trip though and she is really miserable I will stop the car and turn her because for my part I am driving far more dangerously as I try to distract her when she is hysterical in the back. Forward Facing my DD is happy as a clam. She sits and watches the vehicles and buildings go by, not a grumpy peep out of her.

I will say though that when she was going forward facing one afternoon we were in the most minor of fender benders and the only thought I had was panic because she was forward facing (maybe 19 months old). I have cut down on the FF since that incident but I still do it if I have to.

We all know the stats but sometimes you just have to do what works best for your family. Good luck. Oh as a final note, I myself would not turn a 1 year old FF until they were a bit older but I certainly won't judge you for doing what you have to do!

[NaaNaa]

I'm not claiming to be an expert... I agree RF is safer is MOST ways. I based my decision to switch to FF based on the strong suggestions of our ped and a friend who works for a major car seat manufacturer (both whom warned me about the position of their feet). That was news to me as well.

Oh and the 120 was a typo. That two should have been a 0 for 100+. My DS was always off the charts that my ped thought it would be fun to create an extended version based on her clients. My 12 month old surpassed every single one of her 24 month old patients in height and weight. If there could be a 120%, I'm sure he would qualify. :-)

[an_aurora]

That was misinformation on their part.  There is absolutely no reason to turn FF once the feet hit the back of the seat.  

[alegna]

Originally Posted by an_aurora 

That was misinformation on their part.  There is absolutely no reason to turn FF once the feet hit the back of the seat.  

Yeah that.  Statistically leg injuries are more likely ff.  So if you're truly concerned about leg injuries in a crash, turn the child back rf if they still fit.

-Angela

[Annie Mac]

Interesting thread. I knew RF was better, but didn't really know why. I went to youtube and watched a few videos. TBH, I could have done without the schlocky Sarah McLachlan music meant to (successfully) evoke a certain emotion in me and I definitely could have done without the scare tactics of pictures of real children with broken necks (OK, child), but the stats were there & I did appreciate the crash test dummies footage. I do get tired of the emotional manipulation though...why do people think we won't do what's right for our children unless they terrify us into it? I'm left feeling a little ill, but resolved that I will keep my LO RF. I was thinking about turning her when she turned one. 

Sorry for the hijack. Just thought you fierce Mama Bears out there would like to know you have educated at least one mother. :) Thankfully, my LO is OK in the carseat & doesn't kick up too much of a fuss back there.

[Llyra]

I hate all the tug-at-your-heartstrings stuff in those videos, too. But like you I really appreciated the chance to actually view the crash tests--- in the one where they show you the child forward and rear facing, it's so easy to see how much better a job a rear-facing seat does of protecting the spine and neck. To me, that was what was most convincing-- seeing it in action, for myself. I turned my DD1 at 16 months-- I didn't know any better, then, and the seats had much lower rear-facing limits than they do now. Even at 16 months, she was the oldest baby I knew who was still rear-facing. By the time my other two arrived, I'd learned a bit more.

[Sfcmama]

Originally Posted by Annie Mac 

Interesting thread. I knew RF was better, but didn't really know why. I went to youtube and watched a few videos. TBH, I could have done without the schlocky Sarah McLachlan music meant to (successfully) evoke a certain emotion in me and I definitely could have done without the scare tactics of pictures of real children with broken necks (OK, child), but the stats were there & I did appreciate the crash test dummies footage. I do get tired of the emotional manipulation though...why do people think we won't do what's right for our children unless they terrify us into it? I'm left feeling a little ill, but resolved that I will keep my LO RF. I was thinking about turning her when she turned one. 

Sorry for the hijack. Just thought you fierce Mama Bears out there would like to know you have educated at least one mother. Thankfully, my LO is OK in the carseat & doesn't kick up too much of a fuss back there.

not hijacking at all. I had no idea what a hot topic this was! I haven't watched that video because I cannot stand the emotional manipulation bit. Just give me the numbers and I'll make a well-informed decision that best suits my family. What I want to know is, if RFing is so much safer, why isn't there more info about in the mainstream parenting world? Where's the back-to-sleep-like campaign for RFing?!

[4myfinn]

My son (17 mo) is a screamer too- always has been- and he has quite the set of lungs.  His scream is piercing and makes me cringe.  But we've managed to keep him RFing by doing a few things.  First, I moved his seat from the center position to next to the window.  He can see out the window and is a little happier.  I also bought a DVD player (a Sylvania one at Costco) that comes with velcro straps to secure it to the headrest.  That works in a pinch.  I also keep a stack of his favorite books next to his seat in the car.

Personally, I would do pretty much anything before turning him FFing.  I know how it feels to dread car rides because you know your LO will scream.  I know what it's like to have to wrestle him into the seat (we call it his alligator roll).  We're pretty much just trying to limp to age 2 around here.   

[mkksmom]

Originally Posted by Sfcmama 





not hijacking at all. I had no idea what a hot topic this was! I haven't watched that video because I cannot stand the emotional manipulation bit. Just give me the numbers and I'll make a well-informed decision that best suits my family. What I want to know is, if RFing is so much safer, why isn't there more info about in the mainstream parenting world? Where's the back-to-sleep-like campaign for RFing?!

I'm starting to see the campaign. At least 3 if not more of my 16 MO's well baby visits included a talk on how much safer they are RFing and they recommend a minimum of 2 years. This was more than one doc (we go to a large practice), and I was happy to see that they are up to date and really making sure all the parents know.

[Marissamom]

Originally Posted by Sfcmama 





not hijacking at all. I had no idea what a hot topic this was! I haven't watched that video because I cannot stand the emotional manipulation bit. Just give me the numbers and I'll make a well-informed decision that best suits my family. What I want to know is, if RFing is so much safer, why isn't there more info about in the mainstream parenting world? Where's the back-to-sleep-like campaign for RFing?!

I think it's starting. the AAP changed their recommendation not too long ago to RFing longer, but it really wasn't that long ago that we started keeping babies RFing longer than 6 months (sometime in between 16 and 19 years ago), there are still people who can't get the idea of over 1 and over 20lbs. it's going to be a gradual battle. (there are still people who disagree with back-to-sleep, and that campaign was started a long time ago)

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by Sfcmama 


not hijacking at all. I had no idea what a hot topic this was! I haven't watched that video because I cannot stand the emotional manipulation bit. Just give me the numbers and I'll make a well-informed decision that best suits my family. What I want to know is, if RFing is so much safer, why isn't there more info about in the mainstream parenting world? Where's the back-to-sleep-like campaign for RFing?!

I watched the video with the sound on mute.  That way I was able to see the slides with the numbers, and watch the crash dummies without the sappy music.

[outlier]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ldavis24 

I actually read someone suggested wearing ear plugs?? Seriously? I would never ever do that. What if your DD started gagging or choking or something and you had no idea because you didn't hear it?

  You would be able to hear that.  Ear plugs simply turn down the volume some, they don't make you deaf.  And as I said, I was just throwing that out there as a possibility.  Brainstorming and all that.

[Ldavis24]

Originally Posted by outlier 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ldavis24 

I actually read someone suggested wearing ear plugs?? Seriously? I would never ever do that. What if your DD started gagging or choking or something and you had no idea because you didn't hear it?

  You would be able to hear that.  Ear plugs simply turn down the volume some, they don't make you deaf.  And as I said, I was just throwing that out there as a possibility.  Brainstorming and all that.

ok we use professional grade ear muffs and plugs in this household because we go to a lot of concerts and while I know that they tone down the volume and buffer sounds for your ears I'm going to have to disagree. If someone is choking exactly how much sound are they making? Isn't it in fact a pronounced lack of sound, so no I don't think wearing ear plugs would ever be safe in the car to drown out a kids screaming. My kid used to be a terrible car screamer and I still never considered ear plugs.

[leighi123]

Originally Posted by Sfcmama 





not hijacking at all. I had no idea what a hot topic this was! I haven't watched that video because I cannot stand the emotional manipulation bit. Just give me the numbers and I'll make a well-informed decision that best suits my family. What I want to know is, if RFing is so much safer, why isn't there more info about in the mainstream parenting world? Where's the back-to-sleep-like campaign for RFing?!

1. because we are still trying to get parents to rearface to a minimum of a 1 and 20, there are still too many people saying "they are 10months old, close enough" or " well my 6month old is 22lbs already"....

2. we ARE making improvements to suggest kids rearface longer - we now have seats in the U.S. that rearface to 40lbs and 45lbs, these were not around just a short time ago.  

3.  Many many parents base their carseat use on what their pediatrician says.  But pediatricians have ZERO carseat training, and arent updated on changes (rearface to the limits) so often make totally false recomondations.   

[Sfcmama]

Originally Posted by leighi123 

3.  Many many parents base their carseat use on what their pediatrician says.  But pediatricians have ZERO carseat training, and arent updated on changes (rearface to the limits) so often make totally false recomondations.   

Just like how pediatricians have no education in lactation! Yet we our culture continues to regard them as experts in all things child...

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by Ldavis24 

Originally Posted by outlier 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ldavis24 

I actually read someone suggested wearing ear plugs?? Seriously? I would never ever do that. What if your DD started gagging or choking or something and you had no idea because you didn't hear it?

  You would be able to hear that.  Ear plugs simply turn down the volume some, they don't make you deaf.  And as I said, I was just throwing that out there as a possibility.  Brainstorming and all that.

ok we use professional grade ear muffs and plugs in this household because we go to a lot of concerts and while I know that they tone down the volume and buffer sounds for your ears I'm going to have to disagree. If someone is choking exactly how much sound are they making? Isn't it in fact a pronounced lack of sound, so no I don't think wearing ear plugs would ever be safe in the car to drown out a kids screaming. My kid used to be a terrible car screamer and I still never considered ear plugs.

Not much!!  Choking can definitely be a silent thing!!  I'm with you LDavis.

[outlier]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Super~Single~Mama 

Originally Posted by Ldavis24 

Originally Posted by outlier 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ldavis24 

I actually read someone suggested wearing ear plugs?? Seriously? I would never ever do that. What if your DD started gagging or choking or something and you had no idea because you didn't hear it?

  You would be able to hear that.  Ear plugs simply turn down the volume some, they don't make you deaf.  And as I said, I was just throwing that out there as a possibility.  Brainstorming and all that.

ok we use professional grade ear muffs and plugs in this household because we go to a lot of concerts and while I know that they tone down the volume and buffer sounds for your ears I'm going to have to disagree. If someone is choking exactly how much sound are they making? Isn't it in fact a pronounced lack of sound, so no I don't think wearing ear plugs would ever be safe in the car to drown out a kids screaming. My kid used to be a terrible car screamer and I still never considered ear plugs.

Not much!!  Choking can definitely be a silent thing!!  I'm with you LDavis.

Quiet baby in the car = no need for earplugs, yes?

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by outlier 

Quiet baby in the car = no need for earplugs, yes?

Yeah, quiet baby, no earplugs.  But even with a loud baby, or screaming baby, I wouldn't recommend wearing earplugs.