help me help DH lose weight

[caedmyn]

DH needs to lose at least 40 lbs.  He's obese on the BMI calculator and I am not thrilled about it.  He also gets sick a lot and has a lot of headaches.  His dad is also seriously overweight and has a ton of health problems, and I can see that coming for DH as well if he doesn't make some lifestyle changes.

The kids & I mostly eat TF.  Or at least as much TF as I can manage when everyone has a bunch of food intolerances and I'm exhausted from 5 years of sleep deprivation (so basically we eat mostly whole foods, maybe 2/3 pastured meats, and maybe half the time I soak grains and legumes).  DH does not particularly like the foods I fix for dinner.  I admit they're fairly boring, but I don't have much of a variety of foods to work with.  He tends to eat some dinner, along with a piece or two of white bread and a salad, and then have a big "snack" (nachos, pizza, tacquitos, that sort of thing) before bed.  I think if he would eat more saturated fats with dinner it would help him feel full longer, but I'm not sure how to get him to do that.

He's really not a big fan of TF.  He doesn't like the taste of pastured beef.  He'd eat unlimited amounts of pork...not sure if he likes pastured pork or not.  He tends to prefer the processed food version of most dishes.  He loves dairy but doesn't drink milk.  I *think* I can get pastured dairy (the lady at the only pastured farm around here is horribly uncommunicative so I am rarely able to get anything from her) but I don't that I can turn it into anything he'd actually eat.  He drinks a lot of pop.  Sometimes I can convince him to drink things other than pop, but the best I've been able to do on that is Gatorade or kool-aid.  Which is probably better than pop, but not healthy by any means.  He loses weight best on a low-carb diet but he gets bored on it easily and cheats a lot.

I'd like him to exercise too, which would probably mean convincing him to get a gym membership and go early in the morning.  We have a treadmill but it's in the room behind our bedroom and I am sure I would hear DH pounding away on it if he tries to use it.  There is no other place for the treadmill to go besides in the garage, and this is winter in Montana...  I know that for him exercising won't happen unless he does it in the morning.

I know this is kind of a jumble of information.  I'd love any tips on 1) bringing up the topic in the first place.  How do you tactfully tell your DH that they're fat and they need to go on a diet?  2) getting him to drink something healthier.  I'd settle for halfways healthy on that one, he's not going to drink anything TF (I've tried lots of things).  And 3) getting him to eat better, particularly eating a better dinner so he won't snack afterwards.  4) Oh and I'd love some suggestions for TF snacks, particularly if they're low carb (and not super pricey, we don't have a lot of money).

[SuburbanHippie]

1.  No one will lose weight until they have hit their own "rock bottom."  If he's not ready to lose it, then telling him he's fat and needs to lose weight is only going to cause problems in the marriage.  When I was overweight, I would have absolutely hated my husband if he told me to lose weight.  It took me awhile to get to my rock bottom, but when I did I ended up losing 35 lbs and feeling fabulous about myself.

2.  I would encourage him to drink water.  Stop bringing sodas, kool-aids, etc into the house.  If he wants it, he has to go out and get it himself.  Buy him a stainless steel water bottle to bring with him to work.  My DH was a huge Pepsi addict and when I bought him his water bottle he lost 12 lbs in 2 weeks.  lol.

3.  Don't buy snacks.  If he wants a snack, he has to go out after dinner and get it himself.  Chances are he'll probably be too tired to do it at least some of the time.  Keep the fridge stocked with apples, carrots, celery, and make some homemade dip with full fat sour cream and spices.

4.  My favorite healthy snack is Elana's Pantry's brownies.  Substitute rapadura (I personally substitute xylitol which I know is a TF no-no) for agave.  It is a little pricey IMO, but it's really filling.  One brownie has me stuffed.

[lastrid]

I would also suggest not bringing any food into the house that you don't want him eating.  Obviously, this only works if you're the one who does the shopping.  Would he eat a trail mix or hard-boilled eggs?  My DH swears by canned fish, lol.  We just started the Primal Blueprint and he's been eating a lot of canned fish to keep him satisfied between meals.  Are there condiments that he likes that he could use to liven up your food?  That's what my husband does to ours because DS1 and I have problems with most herbs and spices.  He uses hot sauce or crushed red pepper or wheat-free soy sauce to spice it up a bit for himself.

As for letting him know, that's a tough one.  My DH could stand to lose about 100 lbs, give or take, and it's caused problems with our sex life for me.  I was really frank with him one night about it.  We were already in a place at the time though where it couldn't have gotten much worse, so it was OK.  Try to be supportive and couch it by keeping it about his health which is definitely a concern with his diet.  HTH.

[prancie]

You're not going to get him to eat traditional foods if even you think they are boring.  It sounds like you need to learn some new culinary skills.  Get some new cookbooks and become a better cook.  I like the cookbooks "Fat" and "Bones" along with Sally Fallon's "nourishing traditions".  Also, Julia Child's "Mastering the Art of French Cooking" is great along with her cookbook "The Way to Cook".  I plan to get "Ad Hoc" soon.

And no, you are not going to get him to change if he's not ready, but you can tempt him!  Make mouth-watering meals and ask him to take walks with you.  Walking is great exercise for the body and it will give you time to talk, which is great for your marriage.  

[elisheva]

We're only moderately TF but my DH is eating low-carb (he's not puritanical - he's focusing on eliminating things that would screw with his blood sugar and give him cravings for sugary stuff) right now to lose weight so I thought I'd let you know what he has been eating. DH loves vegetables and doesn't drink anything sweet - he does love lemon juice in his water, though. Here's a list off the top of my head (disclaimer: I realize some of these may not fall into the category of TF, but I'm just trying to help out the OP) - maybe something will inspire you:

• nuts - we always keep raw almonds around and I put them in tons of stuff. We make a pizza crust out of ground nuts and eggs and, while it doesn't taste just like pizza, it's pretty tasty and very filling. Tastes good cold for lunches.
• quinoa is a high-protein grain - we have it in soup or under stir-fried type dishes. I also make quinoa with lots of small pieces of broccoli and red pepper - add butter, some cheddar cheese, and a little milk and stir until you have "quinoa and cheese" (i.e. macaroni and cheese but without the mac...)
• wasa - we don't eat bread at all during the week and wasa is a low GI cracker. we love the sourdough flavor. Wasa with natural organic peanut butter and sliced bananas is one of my faves. Even wasa with butter is yummy. Wasa with cheese. My kids love it crunched up in tomato soup. It's only rye and is filling without taxing the blood sugar.
• DH loves cooked cabbage. To get over a french fry craving, he chops cabbage, tosses it with oil and Montreal steak spice, then bakes it. We also eat cooked shredded cabbage (seasoned/sauced to your taste) with sausage.
• Lettuce wraps - DH had smoked salmon in lettuce today and loved it. 
• Cheese omelettes 
• scrambled eggs
• chili with lots of veg and beef and beans - I could eat this every night right now and I find it tremendously satisfying
• we have roast chicken at least once a week
• chicken soup with lots of veg
• cooked shredded cabbage with cheese sauce, cooked broccoli with cheese sauce
• cut up apples with peanut butter - I consider my apple corer/slicer an absolute necessity
• cottage cheese
• dips for veggies: blended cottage cheese (to make it smooth) or plain yogurt with Montreal steak spice - tastes like ranch. For the kids I mix just a little ketchup into some plain yogurt.
• meatloaf patties - mix raw ground beef with chopped onion, egg and spices - fry like hamburgers but they are extra tasty
• taco salad (no chips, no tortillas)
• someone gave us some harisa - stew made with lamb, chicken, and beans plus spices. I didn't like the texture, but DH loved it.
• homemade hummous
• homemade baba ganoush
• lots and lots of soup options
• stuffed green peppers with tomato sauce
• my kids snack on date-nut balls (dates, almonds, cocoa powder, unsweetened shredded coconut, vanilla - in the food processor) - I've never had a blood sugar spike with these but DH is staying away from them for now. 

There are so many options - it just takes a while to adapt. ITA with PPs - if your DH isn't committed, nothing you can say will change him. But, you CAN provide healthy meals. Typical Western diets contain way more grains than anybody really needs. My kids are getting used to it now, too, so hopefully they won't have the weight struggles DH and I have.

[caedmyn]

He brings his own junk food in the house and buys pop when he's out all day.  I have really tried to get him to drink water, and he does some at home, but if he's going to buy a drink he won't pay for water...and fountain drinks are cheap.

He does use some condiments to add flavor to the food.  I don't think TF is inherently tasteless, but any diet where you're pretty much limited to potatoes, legumes, GF grains other than rice, pretty much no spices or fruits, and few veggies is going to be pretty boring.

He will not walk or hike...been trying since we got married!  He used to run and he talks about starting again, but he won't get a gym membership and only wants to use the treadmill early in the morning.

I don't know if he'll eat trail mix or not.  Maybe I'll get a couple of small bags of it from the bulk section of the HFS and if he likes one then I can try making a healthier version.  I guess I will try to think of a couple of different snacks each week and figure out what he'll eat and what he won't.  Maybe if I can at least get him to mostly eat healthy foods he'll eventually get more interested in dieting & exercise.

He does talk about dieting every so often but doesn't generally do anything about it.  I would think all these headaches and being sick all the time would be some sort of wake-up call, but even caffeine-related migraines and a horrible withdrawal period last time he quit pop are not enough to effect any long-term change...2 months later he's back to drinking pop every day again:(

[elisheva]

Quote:

Originally Posted by caedmyn 

He does use some condiments to add flavor to the food.  I don't think TF is inherently tasteless, but any diet where you're pretty much limited to potatoes, legumes, GF grains other than rice, pretty much no spices or fruits, and few veggies is going to be pretty boring.

Ok, I can't type below this gray box for some reason. 

Um, huh? Am I missing something about TF? Admittedly it has been a while since I read Nourishing Traditions, but maybe I missed the part about "no spices or fruit and few veggies". I just don't think that's true at all. Or healthy. I'm sorry your family is suffering like this.

[caedmyn]

Originally Posted by elisheva 

Quote:

Originally Posted by caedmyn 

He does use some condiments to add flavor to the food.  I don't think TF is inherently tasteless, but any diet where you're pretty much limited to potatoes, legumes, GF grains other than rice, pretty much no spices or fruits, and few veggies is going to be pretty boring.

Ok, I can't type below this gray box for some reason. 

Um, huh? Am I missing something about TF? Admittedly it has been a while since I read Nourishing Traditions, but maybe I missed the part about "no spices or fruit and few veggies". I just don't think that's true at all. Or healthy. I'm sorry your family is suffering like this.

The restricted diet is due to my kiddos' food intolerances, it's not a TF thing.
 

[CherryBomb]

Are we married to the same man?  I mean, seriously.  I could have written this (only my dh needs to lose more than 40lbs, and he does like TF, but eats a lot of junk in addition to the healthy, TF friendly foods that I prepare).

Good luck!

[TonyaW]

I feel your pain as we are in the same boat. My husband loves to shop for his own junk at Costco and Walmart. Right now he has on hand Yoplait, food bars that are labeled healthy but mostly sugar, chips by the case, sodas, zipfizz, and white cornbread mix and white bread mix and so on... I am a good cook and I make yummy whole foods as well as TF foods. It isn't about that. He prefers the taste of the junk food. He is also mentally ill to some degree (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder) and his diet has caused a significant decline in his personality! However, one of the things I am learning about in a nutrition class is that most of our dietary and physical habits are learned in childhood and difficult to change. The thing that caused me to change my way from a worse that SAD diet was health problems in my mid twenties. The only way he will learn is when he has a serious issue to contend with like heart disease or diabetes. For my husband it is purely about taste and convenience and about cost. He chides me constantly about what I spend on the healthy, clean and whole foods which I buy and how much time I spend on them while he pops a meal in the microwave.

The only thing I can think of for your situation is to have on hand a whole food replacement for the junk he loves. Would he try Kombucha or Kefir water that has been fermented to the carbonation level which he likes? their are recipes for fermented drinks that have yummy carbonation and sweetness. Eating a lot of extra protein will reduce sugar cravings, so having on hand protein snacks he likes maybe like cheese or cottage cheese or salty nuts (I wouldn't even worry about making TF foods for him, but focus on more whole foods to replace junk foods). I would make healthier dessert items like whole grain brownies or cookies with a bit less sugar content. You can't make it all happen at once, too much will make him step back and say, "hey you are just trying to make me change." But replacing one junk food item with a similar whole food item from time to time is a good place to start as well as extra protein snacks. Will he take a supplement? If so l - glutamine is an amino acid that will reduce sugar cravings! If there is any particular exercise he really loves, even if it was something like golfing or dancing or basketball, you could offer to do those things with him or to join a group of men if he would like that...

Just read your post again and wanted to say, would he try a Stevia Soda, if he likes diet those taste pretty good...if he won't consider any TF drink that is....Also, could you send him out with a large thermos with tea or some other drink he likes. Pack it for him and put in the car if needed. Maybe a homemade lemonade would be better than sodas with corn syrup. I have made lemonade with apple juice as a sweetener.

Snacks to replace nachos are buying healthier tortilla chips and healthier cheese that he could eat. Could you buy the sprouted corn tortillas and make chips? Despite my eating a big dinner, I always feel the need for a snack before bed. One thing I hate is to wake up hungry in the middle of the night. SO I eat a piece of whole grain bread with butter and cheese. It is one of my favorite snacks... whole grain bread with kerry gold butter and a very mild flavored raw or regular cheese. If he doesn't like pastured beef search around for one with a better flavor, that is what I had to do. A way to replace unhealthy pizza is an english muffin and cheese and homemade sauce.

I think the important thing for him is just to replace junk foods with whole foods substitutes and not worry about TF now. Once he looks and feels better, he will want to change even more. TF isn't as important if you need a big change because trying to force someone to change that drastically will backfire if they don't like it.

[prancie]

What food intolerances do your dc have?