Moms of 2+--- HELP!!

[LadyCatherine185]

i am not sure exactly what im looking for, as there are several issues, but just looking for some ways to find more of a balance....

i have a 2.5 year old DS1 and 12 week old DS2. ds2 still sleeps a lot (overall) and needs lots of help to get to sleep/stay asleep. i can't put him down or he is awake within 5minutes if he stays asleep at all. he has to be bounced/rocked to sleep. not crazy about being worn (have moby and ergo) but i do wear him for at least 2-3 naps a day so i can get some things done. this is exhausting and  does not leave much time for me to spend with ds1. :( not to mention ds2 is already 16.5 lbs.. and he only sleeps for about 30 mins at a time. i have been using tv faaaar too much but i don't know what else to do. i am so tired and overwhelmed. :(

help!

[Kuba'sMama]

Hi!

It's hard during these first weeks and especially in winter! My older kids are spaced similarly to yours and my second was also born in winter. What worked for me was; we kept going out anyway. We had a great local playgroup that we attended every morning for 2 hours. It got my toddler out and social and me and the baby out of the house (sleeping or  not).

If I found that the baby needed me to lay down with her to help her sleep and it was dragging on and on, I'd ask the toddler to join us! Mine was not a napper at this stage, but get him to bring dinosaurs, toy cars, stories, whatever he's into and join you while you keep the baby company. Or, join him in front of the tv. My babies had many naps on my chest or at the boob on the couch, so I could sit with my older children and watch a movie. Don't feel bad about watching too much tv, the baby will grow so fast, it's only for a couple months. If there is a quiet moment (from the baby), put him down on a blanket on the floor, while you are playing with your older son with blocks or trains. The baby might enjoy watching you for a couple minutes.

And above all, hang in there! It will pass all too quickly (even though it doesn't seem so at the moment).

[kittywitty]

I read/direct art activities from the rocking chair a lot. You can also dance with both kids, go for walks, etc. Do you have a swing/bouncy seat?

[rebecca_n]

sorry i can't help, in a similar situation- good luck ::hugs::

[LadyCatherine185]

it is hard bc getting him to sleep involves a LOT from me (holding really tightly, rocking/bouncing, etc) and I have to be as quiet as possible.. and once he is asleep, if I stand up to move to the couch he will stir/wake up.. I did it today and he actually stayed asleep and I tried getting DS1 to sit with me to watch one of his favorite shows, but he kept messing with DS2 and didn't really want to sit... He is NOT a sitter. He is very active, and even with the TV on he usually stands up and watches it, or plays while watching, etc. It is also impossible for me to get out of the house, or at least, more stress than help. DS1 doesn't listen very well and runs away from me a lot. We have gone for walks on the nice days, and we do a weekly playdate with my SIL and nephew (he is about 5 months older than DS1, so they play really well together), but that is only one day a week and we either go to their house or they come here. That leaves 4 more days where we are just stuck in the house.. He also does not nap anymore, and is up early in the morning, so the days are really really long. DH is TONS of help.. it is just making it from 7 (when DH leaves for work) until 6 in the evening without going completely insane.... I have been trying to involve DS1 in "helping" with DS2, and letting him hold DS2 (he asks to hold him ALL the time) etc but (as I just figured out) DS2 is teething and has been pretty grumpy lately.. doesn't have much awake, happy time anymore.. maybe 3-5 minutes after each nap? He nurses pretty quickly (after waking up, not before sleeping) and usually needs motion for that too, as I have OALD and he usually struggles a bit through feedings............... I have a swing and a bouncy seat, both work for about 5-10 minutes and I usually use it for showering bc it gets "old" pretty fast...

and all this staying in the house, not being able to get out and run off energy has been really hard on DS1.. and he gets into everything, doesn't listen, etc etc all day long because he is bored.. i feel like i am CONSTANTLY redirecting him or telling him not to do something. he needs more stimulation/interaction and excersize but he makes it VERY hard for me to give him those things when he doesn't listen to me! for instance, we went outside last week one day that was nice and he took off running to the neighbors house even though I told him not to, and I was calling after him the whole time he was running over there. He is very smart, and very verbal (speaks in complete, gramatically correct sentences with thousands of words) so it isn't that he doesn't know what he is doing....

[yukookoo]

same situation here

but im in ca and its like summer already, at least this week :) so we are outside in the yard a lot, and dd is a bit older than your oldest and can play alone a lot..

indoor gyms that you create if you find the time have worked for me. pillows, rocking horse, obstscle course etc

ds waking up.....

[kittywitty]

What about a bounce pit? We have a jumpolene with balls we bring out sometimes (it takes up too much room!) to burn off some energy.

[Kuba'sMama]

I thought of something else, if he is so active and likes more stimulation, why not a part-time preschool program? I'm not sure what's available in your area, but we have 2-3 day a week nursery schools here, but also YMCA, local community programs, etc.. Basically things where you can leave him for 2-3 hours a day and he gets to get out of the house and have fun.

[Dolphin]

i was so there 8 months ago, so i totally know what you are going throug.  my toddler was just over three though...but what i did to survive the early weeks was to find a mother's helper to come in and follow ds2 around the house.  i think i paid her $5 an hour - well worth it!!  she came at least three days a week and it was so helpful.  could you find a homeschooled kiddo in the area that could come help?  now 8 months later, things are much easier, ds2 is a bit more mature and the baby is much more predictable and can sit and play with toys, etc...hang in there, it does get easier!