Needing to chat about pregnancy sex

[penstamon]

Oh man, recovery from sex last night was just ridiculous.  My whole lower half felt swollen and painful afterward.  This doesn't happen every time but last night was just bad even though the sex itself was nothing too crazy.  I had to keep my legs up and rest the whole evening- it was pathetic.  I think DH is scared to touch me again :(  I know pregnant blood flow is increased but it felt like the blood was trapped in my crotch and legs!!!  I'm not worried about the baby or anything but I would like to continue to have sex without having to be an invalid until the next day.

Also, any suggestions for positioning?  It is becoming increasingly hard to get comfortable (I am 26w) and I feel like I am this beached whale flopping about trying to get comfortable which is sooooo not a good feeling during sex, kwim?  The worst part is that I have the libido of a teenager during the 2nd & 3rd tris (at least I did last pg and it appears this one too) so I am not particularly in the mood to wait 5 months until I recover pp.  Its kind of cruel that while pregnant I have this crazy libido and yet feel (and look IMO) so incredibly un-sexy!

[Peony]

Nothing but hugs because I have the same issue and hence the reason there is no action happening in this house in the 2nd half of a pg. 

[greenmulberry]

Well, I found that I couldn't handle long duration of sex mid pregnancy, ( and yes even now at 41+ weeks) What we do is make sure we each are very much, uh, fully stimulated by other means, so that the actual intercourse part is quick. That's probably all I can say! LOL.

Once I got to about 39 weeks, all positions either hurt, or are hard to make work without laughing.

[SGVaughn]

just wanted to add it does get a little silly and laughter producing towards the end :) heh...

but I'm wondering if your having post O contractions? this happens to me pretty bad when Im pregnant and I have no advice ..I've never been able to get around it :(

usually my libido is way up when I'm pregnant this time I'm very..meh..very very meh in fact

and kinda skip the fun part for some reason ...tmi

[Ola_]

There's a book I borrowed from the library a few months ago called "Hot mamas" by Lou Paget.  She broke it down by trimester and listed positions and other things to try and help relieve discomfort (pressure on sensitive breasts in first tri, large belly in third, etc.).  Might be worth a look.  Actually I've been thinking about going to borrow it again as I'm getting to the beached whale stage too.  I agree with the PP about non-intercourse sex though, if that helps with the issue you are having.

[EchoSoul]

My fiance downloaded a video that included good positions during sex while pregnant. The three we covered at that time was spooning and other side-laying positions(which I can't do! Lol), and cowgirl. Sorry I don't have any further suggestions, :(

[Italiamom]

When I was pregnant with DS1, I found that using pillows to prop my legs (if I was on my back), helped a lot...  One or two on either side tucked right up against my hips and legs so I wouldn't have to hold them up so much.  If my hips didn't splay as much, there wasn't nearly the hop soreness later.  Also, spooning was a position that worked well, with DH behind me and with a pillow tucked between my knees to add some support there.

[Lauren82]

Aww. Don't be so hard on yourself. In our house we think there is nothing more beautiful than a pregnant woman. :)

What about intimate activities other than intercourse like oral sex or mutual masturbation? I am to the point at 29 weeks where I really can't handle any position that allows for penetration so I told DH that we have to try other things and with his input we've found things that keep both of us satisfied. I'm sure your DH doesn't want you in pain after sex and that's so not fair to you to be hurting.

[penstamon]

Thanks for the replies ladies. We haven't had much action here since I posted and I think a discussion with DH is in order. He was not into sex last pregnancy which was very hard on me. This time he has decided to be a "better man" and we have been enjoying ourselves but I feel like the growing belly, lack of positions, and horrible discomfort afterward are going to turn him off to the whole thing. I guess there is not much I can do about that...I like the book and video suggestions so I will see if I can find them.

[MrsBone]

How bout non-intercourse activities? Oral, etc? I know when I'm pregnant, I have post-O contractions that are uncomfortable, and then the blood flow down there causes aches. But, if there is no penetration, it's much more enjoyable.

[EchoSoul]

The name of the video my husband downloaded is "Expert Guide To Positions". It's not specifically FOR pregnant women, it's a video going over as many positions as possible(we haven't even finished watching the entire thing, so I don't know if these positions are like ones in the Karma Sutra or just lots of positions), and it talks about the advantages to the positions like, "This one is great for pregnant women", so that's what you've gotta look for.

[reelgeek]

My husband sitting on the couch and me straddling him is the one that works best for us, but he's pretty slim so my belly doesn't get in the way too much. I think the view of the chest at eye level helps move things along more quickly too. ;)  Good luck!

[SGVaughn]

lolol....^^^ this one has always been a favorite in my house

theres a running joke among friends that its probably safe to sit on our bed but not our couch or our kitchen counter.. :)

[imogenlily]

My biggest problem is fatigue, I can't keep going for very long at anything that requires exertion from me, including oral or anything where I'm on top.. I just get exhausted and miserably - not sexy.

[Italiamom]

Originally Posted by SGVaughn 

lolol....^^^ this one has always been a favorite in my house

theres a running joke among friends that its probably safe to sit on our bed but not our couch or our kitchen counter.. :)

The kitchen counter huh?  I'm thinking back to being 7 or 8 months pregnant, and trying to figure out the logistics of getting up there (and not breaking it)...

Couches are wonderful though, for all sorts of trying things out.  Ours has nice, big, supportive arms, that are firm but well cushioned.  I would definitely second (or third) trying some things out on the couch.

[SGVaughn]

lolol...the other half has very large biceps and a will !!!  and the counter is stone so I think I'd be mortified if I broke it :-(

a good thing no one mentioned yet was uhmm...rear entry in front of a bathroom sink

the mirror is good visually (reflects all the good stuff..and none you might be feeling insecure about) and the counter or pedestal sink is supportive to lean on.

for fatigue or lack of libido...I just would have no idea...lotta pillows and a tv??? heh

[Italiamom]

Originally Posted by SGVaughn 

lolol...the other half has very large biceps and a will !!!  and the counter is stone so I think I'd be mortified if I broke it :-(

Try explaining that to your granite guy! 
 

OP, you didn't mention whether or not you're achieving orgasm.  I know that toward the end of my last pregnancy, orgasm could cause some pretty intense contractions, that left my uterus feeling almost sore...  I know it's no fun, but have you tried not getting to that point?  Not really great to skip the main event, but then you could at least share the intimacy?

[penstamon]

haha, I am reaching many orgasms and I don't think I could give that part up ;)  I do get the contractions from them but I don't notice the pain/swelling issues without intercourse.  It is just hard to give that up too!  We dtd this weekend at night so I could just sleep afterward so that solved the problem but I think we may need to switch positioning or activities during the day.  Argh!  I just wish we could enjoy this feeling of young lust again without so many complications...

[Mamatoabunch]

Try, try again. When I am tired rear entry is easy, peasy for me or the spooning thing. 

[Mamato3wild ponnie]

I understand the swelling afterwards....i had to sit on a ice pack for 30 min once....i was so swollen.

Thank goodness that hasnt happened again.

I think more foreplay helps me with the swelling part....