or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › Birth and Beyond › Ever feel guilty for being so "fertile"
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Ever feel guilty for being so "fertile" - Page 3

post #41 of 47
I feel guilty, awkward, embarrassed, helpless...so many things. Especially when I talk to wonderful, deserving people like Adina and I wish so much that I could take some of my fertility away and give it to her. She is really a deserving person and even if it meant I would have a harder time conceiving next time, I would gladly give her some of my fertility, if only she could have a baby. I feel incredibly guilty hearing about people's struggles to get pregnant when I have conceived by accident not once but 3 times. I wish there was something I could do to help but I feel like such an ass when all I say is "I'm sorry." and "Good luck." I bet it sounds really dumb too but I just don't want to say nothing, you know?
Maybe one of these days I'll be a surrogate for someone who can't have a baby themselves and that will help to alleviate some of the guilt.
post #42 of 47
Melissa - can you expand on your birth control question? I'm not exactly sure what you are referring to.


Quote:
I wish there was something I could do to help but I feel like such an ass when all I say is "I'm sorry." and "Good luck." I bet it sounds really dumb too but I just don't want to say nothing, you know?
PLEASE - don't feel bad! We TTC for 1.5 years and I wouldn't wish that emotional nightmare on anyone. I have always told people that the best way to help someone dealing with infertility is to say something like I'm so sorry, I'll keep you in my prayers/thoughts, I'm here if you ever want to talk/vent/cry, or I hope things work out for you soon. Keeping it simple and avoiding conception advice (and the most dreaded topic of stress and "just stop trying and then it will happen" ) lets the person know you are sincere without risking offense.


Sara
EDD 10-02-04
post #43 of 47
i do feel guilty sometimes. especially when I look at my little man, or feel NewBean kicking me. it bothers me that life isn't fair, it always has. i've seriously considered egg donation, and if pregnancy #3 goes as smoothly as this one is going, i'll probably think about surrogacy (though I'm not sure i could go through with that). most of the time, i don't feel guilty, just blessed that we have an easy time and sad for people who don't.

my husband is a juvenile diabetic in his mid-30's; lots of men (most, even) who've been diabetic for as long as he has and who have such shoddy control as he does have low sperm counts and/or low sperm motility. we seriously worried (before we ever tried) that he might not be fertile and even spoke to a friend about using his donated sperm to have a baby someday. it never came up; i inherited my mother's ovaries, and she was a 'someone across the street is thinking about sex and i'm pregnant' type.

if there was something i could do to help, i certainly would. right now, all i have is my good wishes.
post #44 of 47
Thanks snugglebutter. It helps to know I'm not talkng out my when I apologize for someone else's pain. I guess it's just looking at my babies and feeling so blessed to have them, I feel guilty and sad for people who don't. I'm glad your TTC journey has brought you a
post #45 of 47
Thread Starter 
I've heard that being on birthcontrol for o long time (years) can affect your fertility. My sister has been on it for a long time (over 10 years) and i really want some cold, hard facts to give her about why she should stop.
post #46 of 47
I feel more guilty for deciding no more kids and being happy that dh had a vas than I do for getting pregnant twice.
post #47 of 47
The use of hormonal contraceptives can have a negative impact on fertility, but like everything else fertility/infertility related it is a very individual thing.


Sara
EDD 10-02-04
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Birth and Beyond
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › Birth and Beyond › Ever feel guilty for being so "fertile"