Not sure what forum to post this in, and I also know there are similar threads out there, so I hope it's okay if I start my own here.
To quickly summarize, DS will be 4 in April. We've been TTCing #2 for just over 2 years now. Growing up, I always thought I would have 2 kids, and DH comes from a family of 7, so I don't think either of us really considered having only 1 child. However, I feel like after 2 years, we've gotten to the point of trying because we're trying, and trying to figure out why we're not getting PG, and we haven't really asked ourselves if we still want another child. It's much different to imagine having a new baby now that DS will be at least 4.5 years old by the time the baby arrives, as opposed to only 2.5. He's been potty trained for over a year, recently weaned, sleeps through the night, etc. And he's never been the child who asks for a sibling - in fact, whenever I ask him if he wants a brother or a sister, he's quite positive that he doesn't
There are obviously many things to consider when making our decision: the financial costs of having a second, the adjustment for all of us with a new baby, the possible regret if we don't keep trying, the fact that DS would be an only child with no family/cousins nearby, etc. I'm not one of those people who feels like our family is incomplete or missing something, but I also don't know for sure that we're done. When thinking about it before, I had kind of decided we'd keep trying until the end of this year - I figured a 5.5 year gap between kids was the biggest I wanted, and we would have been trying for 3 years. But now I'm wondering if maybe that's even too long. It probably doesn't help that I saw a friend's newborn yesterday and was reminded of what a huge adjustment it would be to have a new baby. As well, DH is making some rather significant decisions about what medications to take for a health issue, depending on which ones impact sperm production or not.
So anyways, I know that no one can answer this question for me, but I just am not sure how to decide if we should stop trying. I almost feel ambivalent about it - I don't really have a strong feeling either way. I think the only thing I know I'd be sad about it would be knowing I'd never have a daughter - but of course, there's not guarantee that we'd have a girl if we do have a second child, and if we had another boy, I would be thrilled, but still sad about never having a daughter, if that makes sense.
It just would be so nice to be able to move forward one way or the other. I feel like my life is kind of on hold while we are trying, because I don't know if we'll have another child, so we keep all the baby stuff, don't make major plans that would be impacted if we had a baby, etc. Ugh, it's such a hard decision, and I don't know if there is a right answer.
Anyways, thanks for reading :) If anyone has experienced something similar, I would really appreciate hearing about it!