A big hug to you. Yours sounds like an incredibly harrowing experience and I am so sorry that you went through that. I wish I had a positive answer for you on how to communicate with your friends and family. I want to offer my sympathy regardless.
I had a very difficult birth 12 weeks ago and I am just beginning to process what we went through. Thankfully, Dh is a very supportive birth partner and when I felt like maybe I was talking his ear off about the birth he assured me that the his role as "birth partner" does not stop after the birth is complete.
I have a healthy beautiful baby who is a dream to care for--he never cries, falls to sleep in an instant and sleeps for 8-10 hours--straight--each night. He has the most incredible deep belly laugh and eyes the color of caribbean seas. I relish and cherish and give thanks for the health and happiness of my son several times a day. I adore him.
But I am barely able to speak of the birth without tears. I had a very rare uterine abnormality that few people have seen or even heard of --including OB's and midwives. This lead to an awful labor and a cesarean birth that was life-saving. The idea of what could have happened, that we were very close to serious injury or death is too terrifying for me to even talk about and what did occur was hard. I feel like I went through a near-death experience. I feel like, in many ways, a completely different person.
What is hard for me is that the rest of my family acts as though nothing happened. No one asks how I am doing and if I bring it up people are clearly very uncomfortable and it immediately turns to how thankful i should be. I am. But that has nothing to do with my feelings leftover from going through a traumatic experience. It was a soul-jarring and scary and profoundly life-changing.
A very close family member asked me not to talk about it in front of his fiance because it was scaring her out of wanting to have kids. - 3 days after the birth- I was barely off the anesthesia for goodness sake...It is terribly hurtful and leaves us feeling out in the cold to be put of by those closest to us.
I do think you should seek a support group if you feel you need it...but being on here is a good start. I care how this went for you, I appreciate your experience because it will forever be a gigantic part of your life. I am sorry that those closest to you can't move beyond themselves and see that you need comfort.
I am personally coming to terms with the fact that this is a deeply personal experience and that perhaps the only thing that will bring me healing and closure is my own heart and mind. I am trying to do some soul-searching to find some of the understanding and compassion I need within myself.
Peace and healing to you!