Two under two - what do I need to know? - Page 2

[GenomicsGirl]

Congratulations!  You've gotten great advice already, and I really have nothing to add.  My first two are 21 months apart, my next two are 23 months apart, and then when #4 was born, DS1 was not even 6 years old.  Busy house, lots of baby wearing, lots of waiting, lots of fun :)

[redvlagrl]

We had 2 under 2 for about 6 months (they are 18 mths apart). I knew it would be hard but nothing, nothing, nothing could prepare me for just how hard it was. With one, I never felt like i couldn't cope and the adjustment from none to one was ok. For the first 5 months or so I felt like I was going to lose it sometimes. There were times when I could unerstand how mothers could walk out of the house and never come back (I never was tempted, but I could understand how you could get to that point). We also had 2 in cloth diapers and potty training DD at 23 months was awesome. Prior to that we were doing diapers ever day or two!

We were also tandem nursing (until a few weeks ago) and  it was really hard on me. I had to limit DD's nursings because it was out of control. She wanted to do it every time the baby did, plus in between. I couldn't get off the couch because there was always someone sucking my breast! If you are tandem nursing I would think very very hard about your motivations. It's not all it's cracked up to be (my friend agrees - she also tandems).

Babywearing really saved my life. But then, so did buying a double stroller when DS was 3 weeks old (I hadn't thought we would need one as we rarely used the single). I am not comfortable wearing a newborn on my back, so that was tough to get anything done. I put DS on my back at 2 months and I was suddenly a lot freer.

The best thing we did, I think, was to start a bedtime routine/bedtime at 7pm when DS was 10 days old. Of course he didn't go to sleep right at 7pm at first but within a few weeks he was reliably going down at 7pm which meant I could sneak out to help my friend with her new baby when my DS was 3 months old. It also meant we could have some alone, non-kid time.

[Jewels06]

Thank you all SO much for the advice. I'm going to print these out to have when the baby comes. I do plan on baby wearing that helped a  lot with my DS, we have a Moby and an Ergo that we love. I also plan on weaning DS before the baby comes. I'm really kind of upset about having to do it earlier than I wanted to but I know I will be a better mother to them both if I don't have that battle to fight. I have heard that 18 months is a good time to introduce or take away something and the daytime nursing has already started to slow down as DS is much more interested in solids but I was thinking of waiting until 18 months to wean him at night. Any advice on that subject? Thank you all again and good luck to those Mommas going through it now!

[Marissamom]

night weaning was a lot easier because I waited until 1. my milk supply was decreased from pregnancy, so it wasn't nutritional, and 2. we also moved DD into her own room at the same time because I didn't think we could cosleep two at the same time. DD was really ready when I was about 2.5 months or 3 months and she was about 15 months. 

[happysmileylady]

Oh one other little thing, if you haven't done it already...

I used to have long hair, I JUST cut it all off last week.  OMG, life is so much easier.  If you don't already have a short, low/no maintainence hair style, I suggest going to get one.  Life really is so much easier with no hair lol

[prothyraia]

My two are 20 months apart.  Apart from the drain of nursing both of them (and nursing through pregnancy, GAH), it was actually great.   I'm probably the odd one out, but after the first few months I found having two much easier than having one.  My oldest was very high needs and intense, his brother turned out to be an amazingly mellow baby (sleeping through the night, at birth? Really???), and having him around to divert the toddler's focus from being constantly on ME all the time was actually a life-saver.  

So, it's possibly to get really lucky!

[insidevoice]

I have two who are 14 months apart. They are now 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 (well- close enough 17 months and 31- I dunno- I stopped counting months, I can't keep up anymore.)

Yes there were, and are, days when it can be overwhelming but heck, those days happen with one. 

I just returned from grocery shopping alone with them, and they are both happily taking naps.  The kitchen is clean, and dinner is all set for the evening, there is no more work for today and I get to have time for myself for a bit. The laundry is all caught up, and I've even managed to average about 5 books a week to read for pleasure again. Most days, I can even get a nap in if I'm tired!

This is pretty normal around here- but it wasn't at the beginning, they slept opposite schedules, and it was just plain HARD!  Start to recruit an army of help- even if they just stop by with a set of hands to watch one child so you can spend time with the other without interruption for 15 minutes, that help will be a sanity saver. If someone had told me a year ago that I would be at this point of predictability and routine, and time for myself- I would have laughed at them.  The first few months are intense, but it does get a lot easier.

With a much larger age gap, you'll likely find things flow a little better than people with REALLY closely spaced kids, older toddlers have more language skills to understand and express their feelings about the world around them, and are a little less frustrated than fledgling toddlers are, and it will improve with time. 

Expect to be overwhelmed, but please remember that the true chaos of it all is fleeting, and there really is a far calmer sea on the other side of the storm. 

[elisheva]

Originally Posted by insidevoice 

I just returned from grocery shopping alone with them, and they are both happily taking naps.  The kitchen is clean, and dinner is all set for the evening, there is no more work for today and I get to have time for myself for a bit. The laundry is all caught up, and I've even managed to average about 5 books a week to read for pleasure again. Most days, I can even get a nap in if I'm tired!

This is pretty normal around here- but it wasn't at the beginning, they slept opposite schedules, and it was just plain HARD!  Start to recruit an army of help- even if they just stop by with a set of hands to watch one child so you can spend time with the other without interruption for 15 minutes, that help will be a sanity saver. If someone had told me a year ago that I would be at this point of predictability and routine, and time for myself- I would have laughed at them.  The first few months are intense, but it does get a lot easier.

 You're awesome!!! I have to agree, though. It's hard at first, but you get a rhythm, figure some stuff out, and life goes on. My house is surface-messy much of the time because the kids drag more stuff out as soon as I put other stuff away - but I don't feel overwhelmed by the running of the household anymore. It did take a while, though (probably almost a year after dd was born) but I had 3 under 3 for a month, so I'm not the best example...

[texmati]

Originally Posted by insidevoice 

Expect to be overwhelmed, but please remember that the true chaos of it all is fleeting, and there really is a far calmer sea on the other side of the storm. 

I needed to read this today!