Okay, they're probably too young to hate yet :) but daily there are several "fights", sometimes one-way and sometimes the "victim" attacks back. They're 22 months old and never play together (which is fine, I know they're still young). But it's so frustrating to constantly be breaking up these attacks. I think they're too young to work it out on their own, and of course I can't just let one hurt the other. It's usually one-sided, DD2 for no reason goes and pulls her sister's hair or pushes her or hits her on the head with a toy (hard). She also has to have everything her sister has - ie, whatever toy or book she's looking at, she has to go and take away from her. DD1 will sometimes hit back or try to bite DD2, but always as a response to having her toy/book taken from her.
Anyone have any encouraging words for me? Did your twins fight a lot when younger but then play together later? I can't get anything done for fear of leaving them out of my sight b/c DD2 really does go and just attack her sister for no reason, without any sort of provocation at all, and she can hurt her badly. Time-out has been ineffective (they think it's fun) and ignoring doesn't seem to make any difference either b/c I still have to go and make the offender stop hurting her sister. It's so frustrating hearing all my friends who now have their second child (so a toddler and an infant) say to me how lucky I am that now my kids play together or at least can play independently...right.
Are my kids normal?? What am I doing wrong? Thoughts on how to minimize the attacks, esp the random for no reason attacks of DD2 to DD1? Ideas on how to respond to them? I do think she may have some jealousy b/c DD1 has a serious health condition so for months at a time I was taking her to the hospital almost daily. And b/c they're poor sleepers, DH and I eventually went to a divide and conquer strategy, he sleeps with DD2 b/c she doesn't wake as often and I sleep with DD1 b/c she still gets up at least every two hours. So I feel guilty about the extra mommy time DD1 gets but don't know what to do to make it up for her sister, and I wonder if this is fueling DD2's behavior and what to do about it.
This has been going on for more than 6 months but I've been too exhausted/overwhelmed to get on here and write up a post.
Thanks in advance for any advice :)