Feeding a very picky vegetarian child

[lotsofcloth]

My son is 7 and has been an extremely picky eater pretty much forever.  He has siblings who aren't, so I don't think it's a matter of what was offered to him -- I think it's just him.  If he was an omnivore and in a family with different food values, he'd be a hot dog and chicken nugget kid.  You get the idea.  He's a vegetarian by choice -- he asked to quit eating meat at age 4 so this hasn't been forced on him - he has one veg parent (me) and one omnivorous one.

The couple dozen foods he does eat are all healthy, and I have no problem getting him to consume produce and dairy (except that he won't get close to a cooked vegetable or raw tomato), and he does eat peanut butter.  But he won't eat beans in any form (including hummus), tortillas, any food that's mixed with another (soup, lasagna), higher fat dairy, rice or other grains, tofu, tempeh, or even veggie burgers.  He does eat fruit, raw veggies, yogurt, cheese, soymilk, dairy milk, peanut butter, whole grain bread, and pasta (won't eat the sauce).  We've had two recent victories -- grilled cheese and tortilla chips that aren't blue.  Both took years to achieve.

It wouldn't be a terrible diet except that he's seven and needs calories to grow.  Has anyone else dealt with this?  We tried saying he has to eat what's on the table or not eat -- and he just didn't eat, but woke up at 3 a.m. sobbing and hungry.  That style really didn't work for us.  We do have a "try it portion" rule but it hasn't seemed to help.

Help???

[askew]

I have a similar issue with my 4 year old. We joke that he would live on air if we let him. Mine only eats two vegetables, and all fruit. Grains and dairy are easy with him. My DS just never really seems that hungry. He wants to nibble all day. We do a lot of smoothies. He really likes the process, and we get more calories in him that way. We do peanut butter and yogurt smoothies, and then I put a spoon of green powder in it, and sometimes frozen berries etc. We tried the whole eat or go to your room, and he would just go play in his room. His sister eats anything, literally. I hide stuff for DS all the time. He likes soup if it is pureed and he can drink it out of a cup- so this is how he gets vegetables. I have found that getting DS involved in the process help. When we grow the veggies in our garden, he is more likely to at least try it. When he bakes with me, he is more likely to eat it. Same with the smoothie concoction. 

[littlemer]

Oh man, it's a shame he won't eat sauce on the pasta - my trick for getting DS to eat veggies is to make a homemade "tomato" sauce that actually has about 6 different vegetable all blended up into the sauce.  Still tastes tomato-y and DS is none the wiser! ;)

[lotsofcloth]

I'll try more smoothies -- I hadn't thought of peanut butter.  Honestly my major concern is getting more calories into him, but I don't want all of them to come from dairy -- it seems that it can't be good for anyone to have loads and loads of dairy.  He won't eat soup, and he is pretty good at eating the veggies we grow -- if only veggies were more calorie-dense!  He's extremely active (many team sports and just constantly moving) so I know he's burning all of his calories just with activity -- so that can't leave much leftover for growing.

[askew]

You might try a protein or weight gain powder. I like the ones that are real food, like rice protein or whey protein. I stay away from isolated soy protein or isolated whey protein. There are some that are pea and egg too. Those might help up the calories of your smoothies. When I was pregnant I had to add a powder to my smoothies, as I only wanted to eat fruit and veggies. 

[catnip]

My six year-old isn't quite so picky, but she goes through phases where she decides to not eat for days on end. She's vegan by her own choice (when her grandmother isn't deliberately sabotaging her).

One of my favorite things to do is to make a smoothie with spinach and kale, raw carrot, almond butter, hempseeds, flax meal, wheat germ, strawberries and blueberries. I sometimes add a little agave or maple syrup, but not always, and enough juice or soymilk to make it blend. I then freeze it into popsicles, which are just about ALWAYS a hit.

[mountainsun]

I can commiserate, my 7 year old is picky as well, and I feel like he is not getting enough protein, as he is ALWAYS hungry.  I think I am going to try and get a chocolate flavored protein powder (non-dairy) and make a protein smoothie at least once/ day.

Will yours eat pizza?  Stromboli is a big hit at out house and I usually make it with spinach.  How bout raviolis?  Or pirogis?  with sauce for dipping.  Or , he likes raw veggies - how bout a salad with a high protein dressing and flaxseed or something??

good luck! 

[SundayCrepes]

If you don't mind raw eggs, you can add them to a smoothie.

Is he having growing  problems or are you just worried? It sounds like he has a healthy diet. Frankly, unless he isn't growing at all, I wouldn't worry about it. Let him listen to his body.

[lotsofcloth]

Sorry for the delay -- for some reason I wasn't getting emails about the responses to this thread.

I love the popsicle idea -- I'm sure anything green would cause a panic, but otherwise, he might be game.  Does the flax meal and germ change the texture, or do they get so blended with the liquids that you can't tell they're there?  He used to eat whole wheat banana bread with flax, but got tired of it and won't eat anything banana-based anymore...

Pizza, yes, but only cheese.  Likewise ravioli, etc -- cheese only.  I tried to throw some spinach ones in and he refused to eat any more for fear of finding more.  I tried mixing small bits of pureed veggies in with pizza sauce but those were detected as well--- though really, he's okay on veggies so adding in more isn't needed.

He will eat raw spinach but only in commercial ranch dressing.  I finally decided to give in on that one -- it's the only way to get him to eat salad.

SundayCrepes, he's growing, just slowly.  He's been low on the growth curve for years, so this isn't new -- he's just so much smaller than his peers and is so active (baseball, skating, soccer, etc, etc) that I can't figure out how he's getting enough calories to have any left to grow.  I worry that inadequate calories or protein will impact his growth eventually.  I know vegan kids can grow just fine, but they're likely eating tofu or beans or tempeh or some source of protein beyond a bit of peanut butter and yogurt.  He'll drink soymilk and would be quite content with veggie chicken nuggets regularly, but to me that's not much better than fast food.  Part of it is that my older son is an omnivore (more or less) and is much bigger.  I know that could just be coincidence, but it still makes me worry -- I'm 100% behind the vegetarian choice (I've been veggie for 15 years) but I know that a good vegetarian diet for children needs adequate protein and calories --

[catnip]

Blueberries do a good job of turning the popsicles purple, blend it well and he won't know it's there. I don't think the wheat germ and flax meal are gritty, but I like them both on their own.

[dfunk98]

i can sympathize.  my 3yo wont eat any fruit besides apples and bananas and absolutely no veggies.  he has some food texture issues, but he eats alot of dairy-cheese, yogurt-and very little protein otherwise.  i am thinking of getting a pea protein powder to make him some smoothies.  if anyone has other suggestions, i'm open :)

[nkgreen]

I'm in the same type of situation. My daughter is 7 and the only meat she eats is fish, specifically talapia. She is super picky will not eat eggs does not like melted cheese and only eats cheese if it's with crackers nothing else. She only eats certain types of beans every blue moon. Will not eat tofu. She does like raw fruits and veggies and just started eating peanut butter. I think it has to do with the age. I hear many 7 year olds are picky even if they do eat meat. I'm just glad I'm not the only one going through something like this. Her Dr. says she'll be fine and to add a vitamin and calcium supplement to her diet.

[dovey]

I have a very picky son too.  He has become less so over the years, but at age 8, he still doesn't eat mixed foods, like your son.

Does he like potatoes?  They are actually very nutritious and high in calories, even without the skin.

I mix ground flaxseed into my son's peanut butter.  I started small so that he wouldn't notice and then gradually built up to about 1/2 flaxseed, 1/2 peanut butter.  It doesn't change the flavor or texture very much and it provides healthy fats. 

Have you made anything with cashew cream?  Soak the cashews (make sure they are fresh, or they can have an odd flavor).  Then just cover with water, milk or soymilk in the blender.  Add sweetner and vanilla and blend until smooth and creamy.  You can make popsicles with it or dip fruit into it. 

From what you wrote, it sounds like he is getting adequate protein from the dairy and grains.  Maybe you should work on upping his fat intake?....  Fat has more than twice the calories of protein.  Here are a few high fat ideas:

-coconut milk whipped cream with fruit

-salad dressing (maybe you could make a ranch dressing that he likes, cashew cream is good in salad dressing too, minus the vanilla)

-bread dipped in olive oil

It's very easy to worry, but even though he may be burning a lot of calories with his sports and other activities, at least you know that he is full of energy.  I often wonder where my son gets his energy since it certainly doesn't appear to be coming from the amount of food he eats!