My partner and I are shopping for sperm to use for IUIs later this year. I'm finding it more daunting than I imagined, and I'm hoping that you all might have some advice or experience to share. For starters, we're generally uncomfortable with what feels like "engineering" a baby based on donor profiles, but that seems like something with which we're just going to have to come to terms in this process. The other two challenges we're working with are whether or not to use an id release donor and what sperm bank to choose. I know, not exactly novel challenges around here!
After talking to other queer parents and few adopted friends, I think we've decided that having a willing-to-be known donor is not of the highest priority for us. I originally assumed we would use an id release donor just to keep our child(ren)'s options open when they are adults, but it seems like most of our queer friends who have conceived via insemination used anonymous donors and are happy with that decision. We really think the family that we create is more important than biological ties, but I also have some discomfort in closing off the option for our child(ren) to know their donors. The cost savings of anonymous donors is also a plus for us, of course. What do you think about the perennial id release/ anonymous debate? If we go with a non-id release donor, are we going to regret the decision for the rest of our lives?
Also, we could use some help choosing a sperm bank. I've read as many reviews as I can find, but it seems like reviews are not readily available for some of the banks we're considering. Is it a red flag if I can't find reviews? The banks we are considering are:
Pacific Reproductive Services: We like that they're lesbian owned, but are they really worth double the price of other banks (especially if we don't require a willing to be known donor)?
CryoGam Colorado: I really like that they go out of their way to advertise their LGBT friendliness, and my microbiologist friend says they have a great reputation in the industry. They also happen to have my favorite donor profile at the moment, but I haven't talked to anyone who has actually used their services.
Idant Labs: Again, very little info on them other than their industry ratings and what they say on their website.
NW Andrology: I've seen the thread here with some recent favorable reviews, but I'm still a little worried about lots of unfavorable reviews on other websites.
Midwest was on our list because a couple we know raves about them, but even if they re-open, I'm a little sketched out by their recent sudden closing.
Many thanks for any advice or experiences you can share! Also, feel free to direct me to other threads if I'm missing information that already exists here.