i guess we all have our own opinions. and i am glad that a home where lame is not welcomed, the child does not say it.
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depends a lot on personality too. mine was a HNs baby to intense child for whom expression is HUGE. plus our own circumstances. dd has a lot on her plate being coparented. she needs a place to vent. a place where she has freedom of expression - no matter what it is. actually the same applies to my friends.
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any of those 'i hate you', the look, lame - whatever inappropriate comments they are - i see them as a badge of honour. i welcome them with open arms. because that talks to me more than anything else. it tells me two things. 1. what they themselves are going thru 2. the biggest compliment i can receive. that they are so comfortable with me that they can hit out without wondering if i will be mad or hurt. gosh they feel at home with me.
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my dd being as intense as she is she needs a safe place to let it out. she has to watch herself everywhere. even at her dads. esp. at her dads. she needs a punching bag to guide her thru these social manners. of course what helps me thru this is my favourite quote from Mrs Incredible "This is NOT! ABOUT! YOU!"
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i absolutely LOOOOVE that my dd is too cool for me. i love it that my dd loves me and hates me in equal measure. i love that while my dd is rude to me she is never ever disrespectful. if anything if anyone ANYONE including her father says anything against me which she believes is completely untrue - you better beware!!!! when ex suddenly started calling me names and dd couldnt stop him she spoke to her teacher who spoke to him and thankfully he stopped. thru dd's expression we were able to work with what are socially acceptable modes of anger.
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two of my closest friends who have done SOOOO much for me... have also been the rudest to me. the thing is they werent meaning to be rude. they were under soooo much stress that they were just trying to cope. instead of anger i was filled with compassion and kept quiet and figured out ways i could help them.
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btw velochic i think its personallity. i was a pretty mellow child. i think its personality. my mom called me a good child because except for a few times in my teenage years i was never ever rude to her.