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Totally OT - Vent

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 

I should have learned my lesson after posting a few times on Babycenter.com, but I didn't. I accepted an invite to a "Mommyhood" group on Facebook and it was a big mistake! Terrible for my blood pressure.

 

A woman posted that she was due soon with her second child and her 20 month old DS still woke up at night asking for a drink. She wanted advice about how to meet his needs while caring for a newborn at night as well.

 

The first person to respond said "He'll never sleep through the night if you keep giving him a drink. Stop cold turkey. When he wakes up, put him back in his bed without talking to him."

 

Seriously? I posted that it's normal to be thirsty at night and I would either leave a sippy for him or ask my husband to take over nighttime parenting with that child once the new baby arrived.

 

Of course this other woman said "It's just for comfort! He doesn't need it."

 

By this point I was pretty annoyed, so I said "Did I miss the memo that said we aren't supposed to comfort our babies and toddlers?"

 

To which she replied "Yes you did Tamera. Babying your kids will only make your life easier, it does nothing for them."

 

JFC!

 

My final post was: Yeah I wouldn't want them to grow up expecting to have their needs met or anything. You know how a drink of water when you're thirsty can spoil a person. This group is obviously not the place for me. Thanks for the invite Erin. If anyone is interested in a style of parenting that isn't modeled after Romanian orphanages, I recommend http://www.mothering.com/

 

and I deleted myself.

 

Never again.

post #2 of 17

Good for you!!  I would have done the same thing!  Geez, it's not like the kid was asking for a 4 course meal in the middle of the night!  The poor thing was asking for a drink of water!!  My 5 year old wakes up in the middle of the night almost every single night still, but my 3 year old very rarely wakes up in the middle of the night.  Some kids just wake up and need to be comforted in some way.

post #3 of 17

hug.gif

 

I have a friend on facebook who recently posted about her child who is only taking 20 minute naps and how she can't get anything done. I totally sympathize. That would be so frustrating and I hope she gets some relief soon. Most of the replies were people saying she should try something with motion, a swing or a vibrating bouncer for example. But then one lady shows up and says, "Girlfriend sometimes you just gotta let them cry it out before you throw them out" jaw2.gif

 

 

I don't know if here at MDC we are the end all in parenting, but I like to think we always have gentle intentions and kindness in our hearts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

On the topic of facebook....how many times do you see children improperly restrained in carseats? Straps so loose they could crawl in and out, snaps at their belly buttons, 2 month old FFing. Ok that last one I exaggerate, but you know what I mean!

post #4 of 17

That is frustrating. I wake up thirty at night all the time, not just when PG. I have always put a sippy of water next to the bed for my kids once then started sleeping in their own rooms. Being thirsty at night stinks!

 

Yes, the car seat thing drives me nuts too!

post #5 of 17
Thread Starter 

Sounds like a high needs baby! My daughter was like that and I felt like I couldn't handle my life anymore. I went to bed every night thinking "I have to wake up and do all of this again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day." and I would cry sometimes. She was a lot more work than my son, but I'm so glad I stuck with AP because she's a very happy 16 month old now. She still won't nap for a decent amount of time unless I'm holding her, but I have found ways to get most things done. Good luck to her!

 

Don't get me started on carseats! LOL

 

Ugh I totally support extended rear facing and I'm always tempted to lecture people about it. I try to be indirect and just post articles to my news feed and hope they read it.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Agatha_Ann View Post

hug.gif

 

I have a friend on facebook who recently posted about her child who is only taking 20 minute naps and how she can't get anything done. I totally sympathize. That would be so frustrating and I hope she gets some relief soon. Most of the replies were people saying she should try something with motion, a swing or a vibrating bouncer for example. But then one lady shows up and says, "Girlfriend sometimes you just gotta let them cry it out before you throw them out" jaw2.gif

 

 

I don't know if here at MDC we are the end all in parenting, but I like to think we always have gentle intentions and kindness in our hearts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

On the topic of facebook....how many times do you see children improperly restrained in carseats? Straps so loose they could crawl in and out, snaps at their belly buttons, 2 month old FFing. Ok that last one I exaggerate, but you know what I mean!

post #6 of 17

 Oh, I'm so there with you.  I cannot read most of those parenting pages because the advice and comments make me insane. 

 

There was a discussion on a friend's FB page a few months ago about someone making their 3-week-old cry it out.    jaw.gif

 

I avoid all that stuff like the plague, especially when I'm pregnant, because it is not good for my serenity.  At all.

post #7 of 17

 P.S.  Responding to children's needs at night reminded me of Peggy O'Mara's beautiful quote:
 

"Don't stand unmoving outside the door of a crying baby whose only desire is to touch you. Go to your baby. Go to your baby a million times. Demonstrate that people can be trusted, that the environment can be trusted, that we live in a benign universe."
 

post #8 of 17

I will NEVER understand these people!  I feel like we all struggle and we all want what's best for our kids, but some people are just so COLD when it comes to their own babies!  

post #9 of 17

Ugh, sounds like my sister-in-law... queen of cry it out.  I will never understand.

 

As a side note, DH sleeps in the family bed, and we have a water for him and a water for mama on the side table!!!  thirst is a human need!!!!!!

 

I would have deleted myself too.  yuck.

post #10 of 17

LOL - my DS 's side car is on my side of the bed ..so , no room for a night table for me - and last night  hide.gif

- i woke up my husband and asked HIM for a drink of water!   

Gee i hope he wont make me cry it out if im thirsty again tonight.....

post #11 of 17

Put him back to bed without talking to him?!?! Would she act like that if she was dealing with a grown up? I am so sick of children being seen as less than human. Grrrr. Good for you sticking up for your beliefs AND not hanging around there anymore!

post #12 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by motherhendoula View Post

LOL - my DS 's side car is on my side of the bed ..so , no room for a night table for me - and last night  hide.gif

- i woke up my husband and asked HIM for a drink of water!   

Gee i hope he wont make me cry it out if im thirsty again tonight.....



IKR? My husband got me a glass of water in the middle of the night, thank goodness he talked to me and didn't make me cry my thirst out! eyesroll.gif

post #13 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChemistryClass View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by motherhendoula View Post

LOL - my DS 's side car is on my side of the bed ..so , no room for a night table for me - and last night  hide.gif

- i woke up my husband and asked HIM for a drink of water!   

Gee i hope he wont make me cry it out if im thirsty again tonight.....



IKR? My husband got me a glass of water in the middle of the night, thank goodness he talked to me and didn't make me cry my thirst out! eyesroll.gif


Shame on you both, manipulating your husbands like that!  winky.gif

post #14 of 17
Thread Starter 

Soon after I deleted myself, I got a friend request from the woman that originally posted about her son waking for a drink. I'm glad I was still able to give her some sound advice!


 

 

post #15 of 17

Oh, Tamera - that's awesome!  At least you were able to help the OP!! 

post #16 of 17

Oh thank goodness Tamera! Honestly I have never hung around parenting forums other than MDC and now I'm glad I haven't. How disconnected can people be? I think the Romanian orphanage comment was right on.

post #17 of 17


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by mama2soren View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by ChemistryClass View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by motherhendoula View Post

LOL - my DS 's side car is on my side of the bed ..so , no room for a night table for me - and last night  hide.gif

- i woke up my husband and asked HIM for a drink of water!   

Gee i hope he wont make me cry it out if im thirsty again tonight.....



IKR? My husband got me a glass of water in the middle of the night, thank goodness he talked to me and didn't make me cry my thirst out! eyesroll.gif


Shame on you both, manipulating your husbands like that!  winky.gif


In my defense, I was really just looking for some attention!  LOL

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