I have reached a whole new level of sleep deprivation

[heidibgg]

Please tell me this is a phase? 

My 10 month old has never slept well, but recently she was  a little sick and initially slept better (yay), and then now she sleeps for a few hours right after we put her to bed and then when she wakes around 11p or so to eat, she will not go back to sleep.  We rock her and sing to her and it will look like she is about to sleep and then we lay down with her and she freaks out, screams and arches her back.  Then we try again and when it doesn't work, we come downstairs and let her play for a while hoping she will get whatever energy out that she needs to in order to be tired enough to go back to sleep.  Sometimes repeating this process takes 4 hours and it's 2am before I finally put her in the car last night and drove her around.  Once she is asleep again, she will wake up at least twice again before 8 am

I am at a breaking point.  It has been several days of not even getting 5 hours of sleep and I am not a nice person right now.  I am yelling at everybody!  I keep telling myself that this will settle down and she will eventually sleep again, but I am stressing over how long I might have to do this.  My husband tries to help, but if he doesn't get sleep it's really hard for him to do his job.  He sleeps in a separate room and on the weekends, we switch and I sleep alone in another room.  All of this was much easier with our first child.  *sigh*

Suggestions?  Advice? Thanks in advance.

[elus0814]

I would stop the midnight play time and cut way back on the rocking, singing, etc. We did the same type of thing with our first (we now have four). We stopped it when she was about a year old. It was miserable for a couple weeks then it got way better. We were there for her next to her in the bed. There were no toys, only a nightlight on, no singing, no reading, no music, no tv, no carrying, no rocking, very minimal talking. After maybe a week or so she started to get the idea that it was time to sleep and not time to play or be entertained. She cried some the first week but we didn't leave her alone or put her in a crib. We were right there next to her and gave her an occasional pat or said 'shhhhhh' or 'time for sleeping'. Everyone, including her, got much more sleep after that.

I'm wondering what her naps are like or if she's sleeping in late. I assume she must be sleeping late or taking long naps. I would cut down on the naps or make the naps less comfortable by keeping the room a bit cooler, opening the curtains, not giving her a big meal right before nap time, not being too quiet, etc. Then make bedtime really comfortable, a warm room, cozy bed, mom and dad in the bed with her, dark room, and a full tummy. 

[poorlittlefish]

When my older DD had an ear infection, the only way that we knew was when we would lay her down she would wake up and scream.  Given that she had something going on, maybe you might want to investigate the ears.

[heidibgg]

Originally Posted by elus0814 

I would stop the midnight play time and cut way back on the rocking, singing, etc. We did the same type of thing with our first (we now have four). We stopped it when she was about a year old. It was miserable for a couple weeks then it got way better. We were there for her next to her in the bed. There were no toys, only a nightlight on, no singing, no reading, no music, no tv, no carrying, no rocking, very minimal talking. After maybe a week or so she started to get the idea that it was time to sleep and not time to play or be entertained. She cried some the first week but we didn't leave her alone or put her in a crib. We were right there next to her and gave her an occasional pat or said 'shhhhhh' or 'time for sleeping'. Everyone, including her, got much more sleep after that.

I'm wondering what her naps are like or if she's sleeping in late. I assume she must be sleeping late or taking long naps. I would cut down on the naps or make the naps less comfortable by keeping the room a bit cooler, opening the curtains, not giving her a big meal right before nap time, not being too quiet, etc. Then make bedtime really comfortable, a warm room, cozy bed, mom and dad in the bed with her, dark room, and a full tummy. 

She hasn't really slept well since birth and has never been a good napper either.  Nothing is consistent.  My first slept thru the night (I mean 12 hours) by 10 months old and napped for 2+ hours too. So, when the baby does nap (and it's never more than and hour or so and usually only one a day) I have to force it, usually by holding her or bouncing her.  Otherwise, she wouldn't and I can't leave my older daughter to go lay in the bed with the baby until she falls asleep.  I am not a believer in sleep begets sleep anymore.  As much as I have wished she would sleep in, she doesn't.  My 4 year old usually comes in and wakes both of us up and 7:30 most mornings. But I get what you are saying. 

This whole not going back to sleep thing is new, only about 3 nights now and I am just overtired to the point of feeling out of control sometimes.  She easily goes into the hyperventilating cry when I try to just lay there with her and try to get her to settle down.  If it was just some whiny cry, I could handle it.  She also gets so mad that she gets to the point where she doesn't even want me to pick her up and comfort her.  The last time she woke up screaming I put the pillow over my ears and she must have stopped pretty quickly because the next thing I new I was waking up again and she was asleep next to me.  I have mostly been afraid of her waking up the household.  Plus, I have little tolerance for her screaming when there is no apparent reason and I

am so severely sleep deprived.

Originally Posted by poorlittlefish 

When my older DD had an ear infection, the only way that we knew was when we would lay her down she would wake up and scream.  Given that she had something going on, maybe you might want to investigate the ears.

Interesting.  She had a fever for a few days (which is gone now) and has congestion that seems trapped because nothing is coming out of her nose, not even when I suction it.  I think I will have her checked out.

Thanks ladies!

[kalamos23]

((((hugs))) been there and am still there with our 2.5 yo. It has gotten way better though, to give you some hope. The only thing that I found to work consistently even when she was younger was a consistent wakeup time. For some reason that really jumpstarted her so that she was tired at the right times. Then she would take a nap (sometimes - I prioritized naps as much as humanly possible when needing to jumpstart yher schedule again) and for some odd reason when she sleeps more, she sleeps more. I don't really get it at all. It's like she gets so overtired that she can't sleep and then she finally gets to a point that she can't fight sleep any more and gives in, and then usually she will sleep a lot more for the next few days and I can get her back to a somewhat more normal schedule. 

Anyway, I just realized that you have a good wakeup time (sorry - we are in the middle of a bad sleep schedule right now - I'm so foggy). It sounds like she is really overtired - will she sleep in the car at all? Can you drive her around at midday to see if she will nap longer in the car? DD usually would go around 45 min and then try to wakeup but if I started driving again about the 40 min mark (usually I just parked somewhere once she was asleep and then knit or read) she would sometimes go back to sleep. Same with if she was sleeping on me (and I totally feel your pain - DD needed to be bounced in the Moby wrap while nursing on an exercise ball to get to sleep until at least 18mo). I also tried to have her sleep routine be the same each time - the ball/wrap with music was ours. She still has strong sleep associations with the wrap - I put her in it today for like 15 min and she got down, nursed for 2 min and went to sleep.

Sorry this is disjointed, I'm trying to remember the things that worked for us - maybe they will work for you. ((((hugs))) 

[heidibgg]

So it turns out it was probably swollen adenoids.  Since she didn't have any nasal discharge, I guess I didn't realize that she was actually sick still.  I thought it was just a transient fever.  Whole new set of rules with this kid for sure.  Husband slept with her the last two nights and I feel like a new human being :-)  She feels better too. Thanks for you help ladies!