Encouraging "naked" time so son will retract sooner???

[AnnDMFT]

My son is 15 months old.  He isn't retractible at all yet and I know not to touch it or mess with it.  My isssue is that I am terrified every time I take him to the doctor that he will be prematurely retracted, that'll I bend down to get something out of the diaper bag and come back up and the doctor has retracted him. 

I literally had a nightmare about this last month one night!   ("You know you're an Intactivist when....")  

Anyway, I was wondering what your thoughts were on giving him a lot of naked time through these early years in the hopes that he plays with his penis and, in the process, retracts it himself.  The sooner the better since we live in circ. central!  I just feel like he'll be so much better protected from ignorant medical professionals once he can retract fully! 

Do you think it'll have any effect on helping him retract sooner?  Do you think it'll increase his chance of infections?

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I doubt it will have much effect on him retracting sooner but it certainly wont hurt anything.

There is a way you can make sure it dosnt happen. Before the exam begins you should tell the Dr. "Due to issues in the past I prefer that you just do the testicle check but please do not touch his penis" or similar words. You can ever decline any check under the diaper or just a visual check if you are worried the Dr. might think you are trying to hide something.

[kythe]

Do you know what your doctor's stance is on this? Some doctors are very knowledgable about intact care and won't retract anyway. I'm uncomfortable with the idea of trying to retract a boy's foreskin so it won't be done prematurely by someone else. I think a healthier approach is to find a doctor who will accept that he does not need to be retracted. Have the doctor bend to you, rather than trying to have your son "mature" early.

[Super~Single~Mama]

I just tell my ds's ped every time we see her, that ds is not retractable yet, so please do not retract his foreskin.  Then his dipe goes back on and doesn't get taken off again.

[Friday13th]

I agree that I would just remind the doctor as the dipe is coming off at every exam.

And want to add that DS1 has been mostly naked for a good portion of his life (starting at 15months and up until his recent 3rd birthday when he got the hang of putting his pants back on after going potty) and he's only a teensy bit retractible.  He's always just pulled away from his body until the other night when he was sitting on the potty, kind of pulled back and called me to see that "there's something in my penis"

[eepster]

You've made it to 15 months, you've obviously either been very vigilant so far or have been fortunate enough to have a sensible Dr.  You've got just 2 more WBV to get through, and then you are into annual exams.  Once you're past toddlerhood and diapers, the underwear usually just stays on for those annual exams anyway.  

While it's never a good idea to not pay any attention to what's going on, you are almost past the point where forcible is likely to take you by surprise.

Though a little naked time is harmless, I don't think it will really change when your DS becomes retractable.  Also, even if your DS starts retracting himself tomorrow, you still don't want the Dr doing it to him.  The end of the foreskin is a sphincter, and should only be retracted when it is relaxed.

[elisheva]

Ok, maybe there's something wrong with my dr. After the first testicle check when my boys were tiny, the dr has never asked to see my sons' penises...Why-oh-why would your child need to take his pants off at a toddler WBV??????

[eepster]

Originally Posted by elisheva 

Ok, maybe there's something wrong with my dr. After the first testicle check when my boys were tiny, the dr has never asked to see my sons' penises...Why-oh-why would your child need to take his pants off at a toddler WBV??????

Testicles need to be checked till around age 2.  Some times previously descended testicles will go back up.  Also, till the child is out of diapers, a severe diaper rash still could be an issue.

Sometimes though it is simply a lack of understanding that intact boys don't suffer from the problems that circ'd boys may.  For example, meatal stenosis usually shows up around age 3, and many people (including Drs) are unaware that it is caused by circ and therefore does not need to be watched for in intact boys.

[Lauren82]

I know how nerve wracking it is to have to give the doctor "the speech" about your son's intact penis. Just keep it short and sweet. "My son is intact. You may check his testicles but do not touch his penis please"  It was so nice to not have to give the speech now that my oldest is going to be 9 years old. But there is new baby boy on the way so the fun starts again.

I think it's best to say do not touch his PENIS, because if you say don't retract him, some doctors will still retract the foreskin a little bit anyway since they don't view that as retracting.

[ElliesMomma]

nm.

Edited by ElliesMomma - 5/28/11 at 11:22pm

[Pirogi]

My ped always only asked me to undress my daughter down to her diaper.  Maybe it will be different with my son?  Regardless, I will be refusing any under-diaper checks with my son.  I know how to feel for a descended testicle, and I know what diaper rash looks like.  YMMV.

[MyBoysBlue]

My DS is 4 and has been diaper free for more then 2 years and is still unretractable.  It will happen when their body is ready I don't think diaper free time will really help.

[AnnDMFT]

Thanks for your input!!!!  I think I'll just leave him diapered and I know I need to do the "Don't touch his penis at all" speech with his Dr., who thinks she is Intact friendly but upon further questioning is NOT as she believes all boys should be fully retractable by age 5 and told me she will (hahaha) reatract my son by age 5 if he isn't already.

Um, over my dead body! 

She has even pulled back on his foreskin a little at one appt, which I now know doesn't need to happen either. 

It's complicated because I have a professional relationship with her as well!  But, the conversation and the "HANDS OFF" convo. will have to happen!   And I'm so bad at having awkward conversations like that!  :O( 

Someone mentioned their daughter not being examined and I think that is what made me realize how unnecessary his foreskin checks are....my daughter's genitals have never been looked at and studied as much as my Intact sons' have by doctors.  And, when I had that realization, well, frankly, it pissed me off. 

So, the awkward conversation will have to be had and the line will have to be drawn. 

[ABO Mama]

Well, my DS's are almost 7.5 years and they still don't retract.  At all.  I've encouraged them to try at bath time, but not to try so hard that it hurts.  My mom spoke to my dad about it (as he is also intact) and he rembers being tight as a boy.  They just went to their well kid visits, the Dr asked about it, and said not to worry, as long as the urine stream is good, and they don't have infections.  She's a great Dr 

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Originally Posted by AnnDMFT 

Thanks for your input!!!!  I think I'll just leave him diapered and I know I need to do the "Don't touch his penis at all" speech with his Dr., who thinks she is Intact friendly but upon further questioning is NOT as she believes all boys should be fully retractable by age 5 and told me she will (hahaha) reatract my son by age 5 if he isn't already./

Um, over my dead body! 

She has even pulled back on his foreskin a little at one appt, which I now know doesn't need to happen either. 

It's complicated because I have a professional relationship with her as well!  But, the conversation and the "HANDS OFF" convo. will have to happen!   And I'm so bad at having awkward conversations like that!  : O( 

Someone mentioned their daughter not being examined and I think that is what made me realize how unnecessary his foreskin checks are....my daughter's genitals have never been looked at and studied as much as my Intact sons' have by doctors.  And, when I had that realization, well, frankly, it pissed me off. 

So, the awkward conversation will have to be had and the line will have to be drawn. 

The bolded part scares me. How many boys has she hurt with that attitude? Do you think she would be open to research showing her how wrong she is? So many little boys could be hurt or even circed because they are not retractable by that age when it isnt even close to being the right information.

[AnnDMFT]

I brought in my huge packet of circ information and she didn't ask to see it.  I even have something from the APA stating that it is normal for boys not to be fully retractable till the age of 18.  :O( 

Do you see why I want my son to retract himself as soon as he can?!?!?!

[bandgeek]

I could barely get my son to wear clothes his first 4 years and he's not the least bit retractable at age 6 so....

Nothing wrong with naked time though, but I wouldn't expect it will help in that area.  You just have to be diligent with other people and don't fret.  Even if it DOES happen, one time isn't likely to cause problems (it would suck though).

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I do understand why you would want that but even if he where retractable she shouldnt be doing it to him.

[ursaminor]

Perhaps you could have your doctor read and sign this: http://www.mothersagainstcirc.org/care.htm

[AnnDMFT]

I have a copy of that saved in my email. 

I would love to.  I hesitate because I don't want her to be on the offensive all of the time and I also worry that it will affect how she cares for my children.  My mom thought I could re-write it and have me and my husband sign it instead.  But, there is a part of me that would love to hand this to her and have her sign it so she knew what I wanted with certainty.   I just need more "balls!"