Am I crazy or not?

[Tjej]

DH and I disagree about DS's dairy intolerance.  DH thinks I'm crazy/making it up and I, of course, think I'm not. :)  I would appreciate a few people either patting me on the back or setting me straight here.  I am feel like I'm fighting an uphill battle.

DS had bloodly stool as an infant and terrible reflux.  Cut out all dairy (in my diet because he was still only nursing then), different baby.  Kept dairy out for the most part through 3 years.  Every time we've tried dairy he gets rashes on his face.  Often gets red ring around his bum. 

I feel like his most obvious symptom, though, is a total loss of self-control.  His behavior is just awful when he has dairy.  He hits, bites, purposefully torments.  DH thinks I'm making excuses.  I don't let him get away with being mean.  I just swear that my job as a mom gets a bajillion times harder when he consumes dairy (although cooking does get easier ;)).  He is recently 3, so DH thinks its attitude with age, not possibly related to dairy.  DS is a fire-cracker anyway, I don't deny that, but it is like with dairy he thinks of the evil options first all the time. 

We did a skin test with dairy when DS was about 1 yo and the allergist said it didn't come up (geez, he had some sort of anaphylactic reaction as a babe too and we couldn't figure out what it was), but the allergist did agree that the physical symptoms I described sounded like an intolerance and to just try dairy every 6 months or so and see if it stopped.

Sooo...  is it possible that I'm right?  Anyone else deal with behavior stuff with food sensitivities?  Does it sound to you like I'm overreacting and DH is right?

Tjej

[DevaMajka]

It's VERY possible that you are right, and I'd actually say it sounds likely.

I believe I see behavior reactions to food with ds2, but I'm not sure if it's a direct reaction or if the food reaction is poor sleep which results in behavior issues.

Would your dh be into doing a trial? Take dairy out for a while, record behavior and stuff, then add it in. Would he be convinced by that?

[rush2ady]

I don't think you're crazy!  Seems pretty clear, actually.  Sounds to me like your DH is underestimating the effect food sensitivity has on moods.  I feel like biting, hitting, and tormenting my MIL after I've eaten grains .

Have you tried giving him raw dairy?  Some people who can't handle pasteurized do well on raw.  Guess that would still not simplify the cooking  :)

[Tjej]

Phew, nice to hear a couple people agree with me - I was starting to wonder if I was being crazy.

DevaMajka - We have done no dairy most of the time for DS's life - it's really a trial of dairy again that has brought this behavior stuff to a head again.  So doing another trial really isn't going to do anything to change DH's mind.  He always thinks its a coincidence that behavior gets terrible the same time we try dairy.

That is a good thought about the sleep - DS hasn't been sleeping as well lately and it is likely tied to the dairy/behavior. 

rush2ady - Hmm, good call on the MIL/food issue correlation. :)  We haven't done raw dairy (it's actually illegal where we live).  I could probably smuggle some, but I think my DH would just think I was even crazier then. ;) 

I don't really mind cooking without dairy, it is just nice to be able to make lasagna and buy cheddar goldfish crackers for the kids every once in a while.

Tjej

[kjbrown92]

I agree that it sounds like the symptom just changed (my DS went from projectile vomiting as an infant to waking up 12-15 times a night to red rash on his butt to night terrors to "growing pains" to horrible stomach pain/screaming/bedwetting in the span of 10 years). Doesn't your DH think it's just a little too coincidental that it happens EVERY time you try dairy? And I use this recipe for lasagna: http://www.bookofyum.com/blog/soy-free-dairy-free-but-still-decadent-cheesy-spinach-lasagna-366.html. Have you done anything "healing" along the way, or just avoidance?

[Tjej]

That recipie looks delicious.

We've just avoided - what would be a "healing" approach?

Tjej

[Greenlea]

Have you tried organic dairy?  My DH has issues with dairy but can handle some organic dairy.

I just dont see why your DH would think you're crazy about this.  Clearly you have pinpointed the problem and have specifics for him, why would he not listen if it makes your DS a different child?

[DevaMajka]

How many times would it take for your dh to see it as more than a coincidence? I'm not being snarky, I'm being completely serious. I do understand his reluctance to blame food. I'm actually the same way, and I've been doing this for a year. I took out lots of foods, and ds's eczema went away, and his poop is better overall. But I still have this little voice in my head that says that maybe it's just a coincidence.

Healing can be different things- taking specific supps, taking measures to heal his gut, clo, ferments, probiotics...there are lots of others too. I'm pretty sure that there's a nutritional aspect to ds2's sensitivities; everything improved shortly after I hit on the specific combo of things that I'm still doing.