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Where to draw the line?............ - Page 4

post #61 of 85
Thread Starter 



 

Quote:
Originally Posted by SeattleRain View Post

My son was a swaddle baby also and he's around the same age as yours. We gave up the swaddle back in December because he was waking more frequently because he wanted to readjust his position and obviously couldn't because of the swaddle. My husband says that the swaddle "turned on us." It once was the ticket to awesome sleep and then it became the reason for shoddy sleep. We switched from a SwaddleMe to a Swaddle SleepSack and then just slowly loosened the wings over the course of a week. I found it was very difficult to get him to go to sleep unswaddled, but he was fine STAYING asleep unswaddled. So then I just started wrapping his upped body in a recieving blanket while I was rocking him and feeding him and he'd fall asleep in my arms, but once I'd put him in the crib the blanket obviously wouldn't stay tight or shut anymore. The first days were horrible. The first night he cried so hard that he threw up all over me and I cried and pretty much had a total meltdown. The second day was only nominally better. The third day was substantially better and the fourth day was almost back to where we were at swaddled. Now he's sleeping 12 hours at night without a swaddle and he seems to be really appreciating the ability to move around and find his own position.

 

The other thing that seemed to help is that I taught Daniel how to put his paci in. I used a paci clip and clipped it to him during the day and to his carseat. I did not use the clip at night for safety reasons, though I've heard other moms do this so YMMV. In any case, all day long he'd play with it, gnawing on the side of it, sticking the wrong side in, and every once in a while he'd get the nipple. Once he figured out how to get the nipple in his mouth he started doing it all the time. Now he's a pro. I would say this process took 2 weeks. Once they can put the paci in on their own, it can be beneficial for them to have access to their hands if they need the paci for soothing, so that's another reason why you might unswaddle if the paci truly is the issue.

 

The other thing is that the woombie is quite stretchy and loose and she might need a tighter swaddle if you're going to go that direction. One thing Dr. Karp says in his books is that some babies need the 5 S's really vigorously because they tend to be very tacitile babies. So these are babies who need to be swaddled really tightly, who have high sucking needs, need loud white noise, and like to be jiggled or rocked really hard. Your baby might be one of them. You might be too gentle with her when she might need a little more oomph. Ar eyou using white noise at all? We've found it to be SOOOOO helpful. So helpful in fact that I'm pretty much committed to white noise until Daniel goes off to college.


Thank you!!! You just gave me more information on weaning from the swaddle then my sleep consultant did, tzs, thanks to you as well. I did try yesterday just one arm out of the swaddle but it didn't seem to make a big difference. compared to 2. Tonight my husband and I are going to try the receiving blanket trick (with just one arm out) and see if we have any luck. The sleep consultant is causing me so much stress and anxiety, I just want my money back but I know I won't get it. Communication has been horrible. I emailed her yesterday to get some tips and advice and not only did she not email me back..........when she finally did (this morning) she just said: she's going to cry, just wean her off the swaddle..you have other ways to comfort her (although I'd told her that nothing was working to comfort her). THANKS for all the help. You would think being a "sleep consultant" she would have ideas for me to try or suggestions of things that might help. She's faxing the "sleep plan" today but said it will involve Ainsley going cold turkey on being weaned from the swaddle............so why couldn't she have told me a week ago to start working on it. It's not something that is just going to happen overnight (shouldn't she know this?) 

 

I do think she might sleep better if she could move around, sleep on her stomach.......maybe cuddle a lovey or something. She can take her soother out and put it back in. I don't know, I'm so confused right now. I'm not sure what to try. I guess I'll see what the "sleep plan" says and go from there, although it doesn't seem like it's going to be anything all that enlightening.

post #62 of 85
Thread Starter 

peacelove&camping, I just need to know if I'm allowed to sleep if I go to "sleep jail" because if so, I don't mind going :)

 

ceceilia'smom..........I kind of mispoke, my supply isn't low to the point where I supplement. I just don't think it's overly abundant. I put her to the breast quite frequently to try and stimulate my supply. I'm on 2 pills of domperidone a day to keep it up, everytime I try to wean off those 2 pills, my supply tanks. It seems to be enough for her.........she's put on 11 pounds since birth without supplementation. Correction, the last 2 times I"ve had my period I supplemented 4oz each time but besides that we haven't. I have tried nursing her before I go to bed and then feeding her some more from the bottle after, just to make sure she's really full and she still wakes up not long after. I'm pretty sure she's a comfort nurser.

 

To the posters asking about intolerances and such............would that cause her to wake up often? She's not upset or anything, she just wants to nurse, if I nurse her as soon as she wakes then she just goes right back to sleep but if we try to soothe her another way, she gets really angry. As soon as she eats, she goes right back to sleep. During the day she's as happy as heck........she only gets fussy if she's hungry or tired.

post #63 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by lrgs View Post

peacelove&camping, I just need to know if I'm allowed to sleep if I go to "sleep jail" because if so, I don't mind going :)

 

 

To the posters asking about intolerances and such............would that cause her to wake up often? She's not upset or anything, she just wants to nurse, if I nurse her as soon as she wakes then she just goes right back to sleep but if we try to soothe her another way, she gets really angry. As soon as she eats, she goes right back to sleep. During the day she's as happy as heck........she only gets fussy if she's hungry or tired.



 

twins.gif

yes, it sure could. my dd would be fine except at naps or bed, if i tried to put her down she would scream her head off, or sleep and then wake and scream. it made her very clingy and she would only nap in the wrap, and sleep on my chest with me sitting mostly up, or nursing next to me all night. it was godawful.

post #64 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by lrgs View Post
I do think she might sleep better if she could move around, sleep on her stomach.......maybe cuddle a lovey or something. She can take her soother out and put it back in. I don't know, I'm so confused right now. I'm not sure what to try. I guess I'll see what the "sleep plan" says and go from there, although it doesn't seem like it's going to be anything all that enlightening.


It's interesting that you say this, because when we weaned from the swaddle I introduced a lovey. I introduced this one
 because I couldn't decide whether I wanted to introduce a blankie or a stuffed animal and this was sort of both. It was also very important to me to introduce something I could have more than one of, so one is always in the wash and one in the crib, and one in case they get lost or something. I totally forgot about the lovey, but it was really important! When I would feed Daniel his bottle unswaddled he used to flail his arms and struggle to settle down. Then he started to pull out his paci and cry because he really wanted that paci! So I would redirect his hands onto the bunny and soon he started to get it. Now the bunny serves as a sleep cue, the same way the swaddle used to.

 

If you suspect she'll sleep better with her own ability to move, you should unswaddle. It is going to be REALLY hard. It could be the worst week you've had so far. There is going to be a point where you will wish you had the swaddle again, but don't give in. Someone gave me this piece of advice when I was in your position and I though she was full of BS, but seriously you will have one week of hell followed by better sleep. It's worth it!

post #65 of 85

My DD is 17 months old as of the 22nd and sleeps in a miracle blanket type thing that is closed up in the feet/leg area and she sleeps muuuuch better when wearing that.

post #66 of 85
Thread Starter 

SeattleRain, that is Ainsley's exact issue........she flails her arms, takes out her soother and then gets really ticked because she took out her soother. I'm going to re-direct to a lovey.......I think I'm just going to use a flat diaper (the ikea burp cloths) or something like that. I'll need something to re-direct her arms to. I'm going to close the buffet from 11-5 as well. I got the "sleep plan" today from the consultant and I can't do it........it's basically CIO, talking about leaving her crying for up to 30 minutes without going in her room. No way I'm doing it and I can't believe I just paid $200 to be told to let my DD CIO (essentially, there was some other stuff but that is the gist of it).

post #67 of 85

that's so stupid, what a waste of not only money but time. sorry man. lovey's good, dairy elimination's good, soothing instead of nursing's definitely good. just try not picking her up, just retucking and soothing, and if she cries too much for you, pick her up and soothe for a minute or two, then put her back down and tuck. also, unless she's screaming her head off, it's okay to leave the room while she's crying, to give her a chance to self-settle. my dd has never been left to cio but there are times where she's crying [i mean, not a lot or anything] when she sees that i'm about to leave the room, so i do, and she calms herself almost immediately. like she's just complaining a bit, but she's really fine to do it alone, as long as she's let me know that she's not happy about it :P 

 

also, sleep with the lovey tucked in your shirt for a couple nights, or up under your hair, and tuck it in between you two when you nurse for a couple days :).

post #68 of 85
Thread Starter 

I know, such a waste of time (beyond the $200 I didn't really want to waste on nothing).........I've been waiting for this "plan" for weeks, thinking she might have some good suggestions for me. I could have been working on stuff a couple weeks ago instead of waiting for this crazy plan........which ended up being exactly what I didn't want. I asked her ahead of time and she said it wasn't a CIO type of thing..........um, yes it is. She even had to specify in the "plan" if your child vomits from crying to just ignore them while you clean it up and then go back to letting them cry. Ainsley does good at putting herself to sleep........she will sometimes get angry for about 30 seconds after I leave the room (rarely though........usually for naps if I"ve missed her window) and then she settles to sleep.

 

I'm scared to even write this here because I'm going to blow it, KNOCK ON WOOD, but Ainsley went to sleep, by herself, no crying, with one arm out of the swaddle. Probably because my DH stayed home from his hockey game to help me. This is a million times different from when I tried yesterday.........that was during naps though, I'm not sure if night is different. I also tried SeattleRain's suggestion of redirecting to a bamboo swaddle blanket and I watched her playing with that blanket (video monitor) with her hand instead of ripping her soother out.......for about 10 minutes and then she just fell asleep. I think it's the calm before the storm. We'll see how tonight goes.

 

post #69 of 85

Oh dear!  That is horrible. :(  I think you would be better off doing what you know is best, and leaving off with the sleep consultant if she is blatantly disregarding your requests. You seem to be getting a handle on it, and you have gotten some excellent advice.  I know that if someone told me to leave my child to cry until they vomited, I would promptly and not so kindly show them the door. Not happening ever, no matter their age. :(

 

I am very glad that tonight went well! Fingers crossed it keeps going that way. :)

post #70 of 85
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by AdinaL View Post

Oh dear!  That is horrible. :(  I think you would be better off doing what you know is best, and leaving off with the sleep consultant if she is blatantly disregarding your requests. You seem to be getting a handle on it, and you have gotten some excellent advice.  I know that if someone told me to leave my child to cry until they vomited, I would promptly and not so kindly show them the door. Not happening ever, no matter their age. :(

 

I am very glad that tonight went well! Fingers crossed it keeps going that way. :)


Yes, I was having anxiety just reading the plan and almost felt like crying imagining leaving my baby crying like was being described, I need her to sleep but we have to do it more gently. She didn't say leave them cry til they vomit just that it's rare but possible they vomit because they are crying...........either way, that is not okay for my girl. Hoping some of the other advice I've gotten will help. *crossing my fingers* I was so tired today driving home from the museum I swerved right out of my lane on the highway.......so tired I don't even remember if I already said that.
 

post #71 of 85

well small progress is awesome progress! that's great that she was able to comfort herself like that. how did the rest of last night go? it's interesting that she goes to sleep fine but continues to wake up and need comforting. it makes me wonder if there's something wrong with the environment in her room [not bad-wrong, just she doesn't like it]: too hot, too cold, uncomfortable jammies, too dark, too light, mattress too hard, mattress too soft.... when someone can't tell you what they like, it's so hard to guess; my dh and i would have the bedroom fifteen degrees different from each other if we could! people like things different ways, and babies are no different. when we're having a rough patch, i honestly just change one thing at a time hoping i light on the one that solves it. so maybe try that, changing up anything you think could need changing. for example, my dd absolutely cannot sleep in fleece pajamas. she's up aaaall night. does she go to sleep with white noise, and if so, is it on a timer? if yes to both questions :) find one that doesn't turn itself off; having it not there when she wakes in the motn can freak her out.

 

also, i know i got flak on here for suggesting it, but if you truly think she's just hungry, you should seriously consider at least trying to space her feedings out more. it's unlikely your supply will suffer drastically at this age. and be sure to be adding more calories like a couple of us said, avocado, etc. heck, try avocado three meals a day for a couple days! if that helps, you'll know it's calories/hunger.

post #72 of 85
Thread Starter 

Thanks for all the suggestions, last night went really good........like I'm amazed how good it went, I'm so scared to even type this so touch wood. She had her dream feed at 10:30ish and then to make sure I would know she isn't hungry *hiding under my chair* I topped her up with some formula........no one flame me, I need sleep. Then she woke up at 2:30, she was mad because I didn't feed her, but not as mad as I thought and was back asleep by 3am. She woke up at 5:30 and I nursed her , she had a little bit of trouble settling but I only had to go in once.......she really needs that blanket to fiddle with to keep her hand busy. Then she slept until 8am. I was expecting to be up all night with her but it was way better then I thought. I think I'll do another day and night of one arm out and then progress to 2.....see how it goes. Unfortunately my poor ODD was up sick and vomitting ALL night. She hasn't thrown up ever in her whole life (expect baby spit up) and broke that streak with a bang last night. Her Dad had to sleep with her because she kept getting up to be sick.......lots of sheet and blankets in the wash right now.

 

I'll have to see if there are little things we can change to make her more comfortable. She seems to be doing great now. If we can drop that 2am feeding and get a stretch from 11-5, I'll be good with that. We did have a late supper 2 nights and a row this week, complete with avocado but it didn't seem to make a huge difference. I can only hope things keep going well......I'm glad I started this thread, got some good advice, I think Ainsley would still be screaming if we hadn't thought to introduce a lovey to keep her hand busy while she was falling asleep.

post #73 of 85

this may be stating the obvious but if she likes a blanket to fiddle with she may love a blanket with some silky ribbon to fiddle with. 

 

i made mine a lovey resembling one of those "taggie" blankets. you just sew together two fabrics of your choice with folded up satin-y ribbons sticking out (or you can buy one for like a half million dollars). i did a cute pattern on one side with soft fleece of the other but they sell some fabrics with nice textures to fiddle with. you could probably make do with some of that iron-on hemming tape instead of sewing. in a pinch, dd will use on of those baby sized blankets with the satiny edging.

 

i have seen her fiddling with it when i put her to bed so i guess it works.

post #74 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by lrgs View Post

Thanks for all the suggestions, last night went really good........like I'm amazed how good it went, I'm so scared to even type this so touch wood. She had her dream feed at 10:30ish and then to make sure I would know she isn't hungry *hiding under my chair* I topped her up with some formula........no one flame me, I need sleep. Then she woke up at 2:30, she was mad because I didn't feed her, but not as mad as I thought and was back asleep by 3am. She woke up at 5:30 and I nursed her , she had a little bit of trouble settling but I only had to go in once.......she really needs that blanket to fiddle with to keep her hand busy. Then she slept until 8am. I was expecting to be up all night with her but it was way better then I thought. I think I'll do another day and night of one arm out and then progress to 2.....see how it goes. Unfortunately my poor ODD was up sick and vomitting ALL night. She hasn't thrown up ever in her whole life (expect baby spit up) and broke that streak with a bang last night. Her Dad had to sleep with her because she kept getting up to be sick.......lots of sheet and blankets in the wash right now.

 

I'll have to see if there are little things we can change to make her more comfortable. She seems to be doing great now. If we can drop that 2am feeding and get a stretch from 11-5, I'll be good with that. We did have a late supper 2 nights and a row this week, complete with avocado but it didn't seem to make a huge difference. I can only hope things keep going well......I'm glad I started this thread, got some good advice, I think Ainsley would still be screaming if we hadn't thought to introduce a lovey to keep her hand busy while she was falling asleep.


If she's okay with the 1 hand, she'll be just fine with the two hands. Maybe think about getting a sleepsack. I've heard that some babies who like the restriction of the swaddle also like the restriction of the sleepsack, even though its not that tight. As it turns out, Daniel didn't really care about the sleepsack, he seems to like to crawl around his crib so we leave him in fleece pjs because his room is pretty cold. I'm glad our advice has helped. Getting through the weaning of the swaddle can be really stressful and I didn't find a lot of help online so I'm glad I could help someone else through it. It's sounding like she's sleeping some 4-6 hour stretches there, which is great improvement!

post #75 of 85

Lana, we started topping our DD off with formula too! She now sleeps a bit more. We tried figuring out the food sensitivities but honestly, I was on the brink of insanity and trying to "figure out" something else was just way too much for me.  Also DD sleeps on her belly and it is working so much better!

I hope you are catching up on your much needed ZZZZZ's. I feel like a different woman now that I have had a few nights of 5 hours straight!

 

Hugs. 

post #76 of 85

gotta take care of mama first. if momma cant function then that is not good. a happy momma = a happy baby :) ((hugs))

post #77 of 85

How are things going mama? Are you seeing some improvement? How did the swaddle weaning go?

post #78 of 85
Thread Starter 

Thanks for checking up on me ladies.......the good news first, here is my precious girl sleeping without her Woombie!!!!!

 

181566_10150393223510262_786030261_17216764_684776_n.jpg

 

She has to sleep with that white blanket......she fiddles with it and waves it around as she falls asleep. She's falling asleep on her own, no Woombie. The bad news is that naps have gone downhill, I think she's still getting used to her new found freedom. I can't get her to nap for more then about half an hour and by the time bedtime comes, she is absolutely exhausted and usually pretty miserable. I'm hoping this is growing pains and naps will come back again one day! It would be one thing if she could function without them but she's really grumpy. Nights are hit and miss....overall, I think it's a bit better. I'm not topping off with formula anymore because I know she isn't waking from hunger. She's really into solids now so she's nice and full at bedtime. I feed her before I go to bed but she's still getting up at around 1:00 or 2:00am (but we've had a few nights where she sleeps through).........me not feeding her at that hour doesn't seem to be helping with wake ups. Some nights it takes me an hour to get her back to sleep without nursing......not even sure what to do about that. Going to give it some more time. MIL suggested chriropractor........might try that. The "sleep consultant" said she'll tweak the sleep plan because I complained and said I wasn't doing what she suggested.........don't have any faith in that though.

 

Anyway......sleep problems are sort of on the back burner now. DH left us and now I'm on my own with both girls......I'm exhausted and overwhelmed. Trying to do this with 2 people was tiring enough. Luckily my family is trying to help but some days I just really wonder how I'm going to make it.

post #79 of 85

Oh my goodness!  I am so sorry to hear that!  I am glad you have help though.  Lots of love to you and your girls.

post #80 of 85
Thread Starter 

Thanks....it's nice to know there are a couple people on here who care.

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