How do you get stuff done with more than one toddler/crawler??

[mousebandit]

Help!  I'm totally losing it.  I don't seem to be able to accomplish anything anymore.  Now that little one #2 is crawling, and big sister (2-1/2 yo) is talking nonstop and wants to be involved in everything, I can't seem to get anything done.  I know I should be able to have things organized and probably scheduled (or at least a stinking routine, LOL!) but I'm in total chaos and clueless about how to dig out of this.  We moved last fall and the house is a difficult layout for us - front room is mostly kid-proofed (as long as big sister doesn't pull out her not-baby-safe toys and leave them on the floor or coffee table), but it's pretty isolated from the kitchen and dining room, where I need to be a lot of the time.  The wood stove is up here in the dining area, and this is a baby-danger-zone, especially for my into-everything little guy. 

So, I can theoretically leave them to "play" in the front room while I shut off the kitchen and dining rooms, but it's very scary that I can't just watch them and make sure he hasn't stuffed broken crayons in his mouth, or found some other deadly thing to cram in there, etc.  And sister keeps wanting to come in and out from where I am.  Mostly I spend my time running from the kitchen into the front room and really accomplishing nothing.  And he wants to follow me everywhere, and it's hard to pop in and out of the laundry room, or even the bathroom without him either crying on the other side of a gate, or following me and getting into everything that's contraband.

And just in general, I feel like I have forgotten how to structure a day so that the housework, meals, mama work (I work from home very part-time), and egads, maybe even a shower now and then, all get done without anyone maiming themselves or having a crying jag (the 2yo dd or me!).  This is probably the biggest part of the problem.  It's like I never knew how to do this (which I used to manage, not great, but we got by, in total contrast to the circus we're living in now), and that is kind of freaking me out!  It's like I'm losing my mind or something.  Imagine that you're a completely clueless, young, new mama (which other than clueless, I can't claim) - where do you go to learn how to be a housewife???!! 

And to make me feel even more distraught, I'm pg again, which is awesome, but how in the world am I gonna survive?  How will the kids survive if I'm this messed up with only 2??!! 

I know there's got to be someone out there who's nodding and can understand (and who has conquered this!).  Thank you in advance!!

Mouse Bandit

[mkksmom]

All these views and no replies. I guess no one has the answer! LOL! I sure don't. I only have 1 toddler and a 6 YO, and I just muddle through and pray for more sleep/energy to keep up. I keep thinking things will get easier when my LO is older. I know if I had less stuff around, there would be less to mess up, but I just have the hardest time finding time to get rid of stuff. Your situation does sound tricky. I have the family room totally childproof, and even though I need to be in the kitchen a lot, we spend a ton of time in there. Luckily for me my laundry room is right off of the family room. My 16 MO likes to help put clothes in the dryer now, so that keeps her busy. I use meal times when she is in the high chair to quickly do what I can in the kitchen (or go on the computer like this morning).

Flylady.net used to help me. On the simplifying/Decluttering board, there are threads for motivated moms as well.

I bet if you look at your day, there is some routine because of meals/naps.

ETA: I definitely wouldn't feel comfortable leaving either of them in another room where I couldn't see. The only way I can get stuff done is to put the baby in the Ergo (which hurts my back the least-- but still hurts) and then involve the 2.5 year old however you can. My 16 MO loves when I give her a washcloth and show her how to wipe things and "clean" with me. That only gets you so far though. I think the main thing is to declutter and simplify.

[chel]

not that mine are even close, but even with a 9yr age gap.  all rooms have to be babyproof or locked off (places like basement) to keep me sane.

and yes, minimal toys.

[zakdat]

If the main concern with having both kids in the dining room is the fireplace, would it be possible to fence it off?  That would keep him safe at least, and then you could make the toys that stay in the kitchen/dining room safe for your son, but still interesting for your daughter.

As for scheduling the day, I'm finding it difficult to get everything done.  DS1 is 2yo and DS2 is 8mo, so I completely understand where you're coming from.  A book that I really enjoyed and found inspiring is Simplicity Parenting (there's another thread about this book on MDC - http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1284309/has-anyone-read-the-book-simplicity-parenting-what-did-you-think-of-it ).

Hang in there mama.    I figure as soon as I figure out a routine that works with them at this age, they'll hit a different phase and I'll have a whole new stage to get used to. 

[Juvysen]

I mostly just set very low standards and don't get a lot done.  It's not forever :)

[redvlagrl]

We have very few toys - just one basket (rubbermaid sized) in the living room which fits under a bookshelf.

If I want to clean up I either wear DS, put him in a highchair/exersaucer or wait until he is napping and then I blitz. Our living space is very, very decluttered so it doesn't take too much to get it looking ok. Upstairs is a different matter and it is usually embarassingly messy up there. But it means a lot to me to have a claer living space (we started this journey when DD was a year or so old). Flylady really helped us, though we dont' do it anymore.

[faithrainbow]

Hi!  I have a home daycare with either 8 toddlers and one helper, or 12 kids and two helpers.  Of course, the kids all go home at the end of the day, which helps a lot! :)  But I don't do ANY daycare things outside of daycare hours (everything has to be cleaned up by the time the last kid goes home).  The things I find that help me 'be effective' and keep my sanity are these:

1)  Don't try to be effective and THEN find a rhythm/routine.  The rhythm is what LETS me be effective.  Start with sleeping/eating times and work out from there.  For example, if mornings are hard, set up the breakfast table before you go to bed at night.  When I'm tired or stressed out, my rhythm carries me because the kids remind me of what's supposed to be happening :)  I love Mary Thiennes Schunemann's book/cd This is the Way We Wash-A-Day for songs to go with every task.

2)  Get lots of outside time.  Even in the wintertime, and even when I have a crawler, the more outside time the kids in my care get, the more peaceful the inside time tends to be.  I try to get kids outside twice a day, weather permitting.  You can use these outside times as anchors in your daily rhythm, also.  For example, wake up, make beds and snuggle a little, have breakfast, get dressed and get your coats on and go straight outside.  Play hard, or take a long walk to the park and back.  When you come back inside, feed the kids a snack, and you can clean up the breakfast dishes while they're eating, so they can see you while you're working.  Put the baby down for his morning nap, and you and your daughter can do cleaning tasks 'together': do laundry, sweep/mop the floor, tidy up.  Kids that age often love to show that they know where things go.

3) Nap at naptime with the kids.  This doesn't help you get the housework done, but it saves your sanity and helps the rest of the day go more smoothly.  It is mandatory for me!

4)  I agree with previous folks that you should gate off the stove and make those areas child-friendly.  It will change your life.  Kids want to be where they can see you, and you want to be where you can see them.

5)  Be compassionate with yourself!  It's hard work to have a toddler and a crawler at the same time.

[JudiAU]

I'd consider moving them closer to here you need to be with the right toys, even if it is a corner of the kitchen. Kitchen work or mama, safe things fir baby, selected toys or older daughter. If you need to leave them alone you need o fix the fire / toy storage just the safe options ate available.

Finally, limit your routine o that you can d one concentrated playing and sitting. I think both kids will be less demanding if they et so e long stretches of absolute attention, at least mine are.