Anyone else feel like they can't work small part time job AND homeschool well?

[J2]

I have a almost 5 year old and a 2.5 year old. We will be homeschooling and have been sort of kind of homeschooling on and off this year. But I am horrible and making a routine and sticking with it. Or keeping us on track with anything at all. I have been doing a direct sales job that does home parties and such. But am beginning to feel like it is not going to work out for me because it will take away too much time sometimes and will also take up too much mental energy. My kids are my priority. Even though the job was to earn money so I can spend it on my kids for activities and such, I fear it will detract too much from the real goal I have of shaping their character and teaching/homeschooling them well.

Anyone feel like they also can't handle having too much on their plate...or it detracts away too much from your kids and homeschooling? Sure, maybe it doesn't take up too much time during the day when we are together, but it takes my time and mental energy at night sometimes...when I could be spending it with the family or reading a book for myself (maybe...I haven't read a whole book in a long time!) or planning out some activities and learning activities and such.

I just feel like a wimp if I can't keep this side job. It doesn't seem like it should take too much from me...but I think it does.

Sorry if this post is jumbled...there is so much on my mind and too much to write here.

[MommaCrystal]

Direct sales are a LOT of work!  If you really want to be profitable you have to work it pretty much daily.  I did it for years and burned out.  I think the ability to run a business and homeschool depends a lot of how much support you have.  I have my own business which actually takes full time hours as some parts of the year.  If it weren't for my husband who takes on nearly everything BUT homeschooling during that time I could never do it.  When times are slower he still takes on a lot of the load. 

As a matter of fact my husband is taking tomorrow off so he can take care of everything all day and I can focus on my business as I have deadlines looming.

It is doable but it is not without sacrifice! 

[*bejeweled*]

If it feels like it is too much, it is too much. You're not a wimp. Honor your feelings and focus on your sweeties. You count too.

[quote name="J2" url="/community/forum/thread/1297248/ I just feel like a wimp if I can't keep this side job. It doesn't seem like it should take too much from me...but I think it does.

[Tigeresse]

Yes, I definitely felt that way when my kids were small.  I just started teaching yoga part time about 1.5 years ago after 12 years of homeschooling.  Even that is a balancing act at this point because I am still actively homeschooling 3 kids. 

Follow your heart and enjoy the time with your lo's.  They need you way more than money for activities (assuming you are not holding this job for other reasons).  Besides there are so many things you can do with them that don't require a lot of money.  Library outings and activities, museums that offer free days, parks, group and educator discounts on all kinds of things.  One thing I learned about activities with my older kids is that many of things we invested a lot of time and money on back then they have very little memory of now, such as karate lessons, kindermusik, foreign language lessons.  Not that these things were a waste of time, but we could have accomplished the same thing much more simply and cost effectively if I hadn't had it in my mind that they "needed" these things. 

Anyway, be easy on yourself and enjoy!

[J2]

Bejeweled - I love the quote in your signature about simplicity!

And you are right that my feelings count too. I felt good contributing to the family financially I bought acting classes for my son to take with some of the money that I earned. But then, now that it is tax time, I learned that I spent as much on my business as I made! So I really didn't actually come out on top! *sigh* I have been doing it since October. I think I would be able to come out having profited now in these next few months but yes, it all just takes time that detracts from other areas. I want to be able to help financially...but I can't let the ball drop in other areas and I don't want to look back feeling like I have failed in the area of being with and teaching my kids in the way I would like to. But not sure if I am giving up to early.

MommaCrystal - No one can give me a very clear understanding of how much time it will take to do this direct sales company. Because of course, my director wants me to keep going and succeed and not quit. So they only share maybe what they want to share with me? But if it truly takes working the business daily, then I don't have that much to give. I would love to build a team and earn a $1000 a month. Oh that would be nice! But even if I just worked it minimally and made $250-$500 per month, that would help out a ton and provide my kids with activities through the month or help with homeschool curriculum. I am locked in this month because I have parties. So I will see if that reenergizes me after the slow January. IF I can make it work for me without feeling overwhelmed and if I can actually make more than I spend on the business so I can use that for my kids, then I would be happy even with just a few hundred extra dollars each month. It would be helpful...if the time put into it is worth. So I will see how it seems after this month. 

[camprunner]

I think it can be done. I've done it alone with a 3 and 6 year old and with dh home working full time at a job with a 5 and an 8 year old.

Here are some guidelines we've learned to follow:

Follow a loose schedule. Kids will start following it on their own once it becomes routine but if something doesn't go exactly as planned, don't panic.

Try to have a schedule for yourself too as far as household chores

Require a quiet time of an hour an a half or so a day. It isn't bad for kids to learn to work puzzles or read books or color quietly in their room(s).

Try to return all phone calls during quiet time  or when another adult is at home to watch the kids if possible.

School time is school time; don't let anything interrupt this time.

You don't have time for TV (ever).

Your business/job is your hobby/entertainment

lunches- make them simple and have a plan; leftovers from dinner are great; I know hot dogs are kind of icky but they heat in the microwave easy.  Pre-make pizzas that you can stick in the oven.  Sandwiches (goes great with a "picnic" in the yard).

 Your kids come first. If someone has to go to the bathroom, needs a drink or snack, etc get up and do it right then no matter what you are doing.  Show them they matter and rather than being spoiled they will trust you. 

Invest in a smart phone; answering e-mails on the go when the kids are occupied by something safe saves a lot of time when you finally do get to sit down at the computer.

Are there things that are worth it to outsource in your household?  I purchase a menu mailer currently and that has saved me from planning menus, wondering what I'm going to fix, driving to a restaurant and wasting my money, etc.  Maybe you need someone to clean your house?

In a pinch, young teenage homeschool girls can make great mother's helpers; a movie could be used occasionally (but not more than a couple of times a week) if you need some extra time to get caught up.

Listen to your kids needs; Even with dh at home, my kids can not handle allowing him to do school and handle the bulk of the day so I have them from the time they get up until  6pm while he work. At 6pm, they are some how magically ok with me working and play quietly. At 7:30pm I stop working long enough to remind them to take a shower and supervise clean up (which at 8 and 5, they can do; not so much at 2 and 5 :) ).Once they are showered and cleaned up; I am lucky enough to have a husband who reads to one while I read to the other and then they are in bed!  I work during the bath (because I can at their ages) and for 2-3 hours after they go to bed.  This works at this stage. I may suddenly have to change this later.

When mine were the ages yours were, we had school from 9am-11am. I did allow them to watch a little TV until 9am and would sometimes work during this time depending but it was turned off for the day at 9am.   At 11am we went outside and many times I did take a laptop to do some monotonous work but not always.  At noon I served an easy lunch that required a couple of minutes in the microwave at the most and then by 12:45 they were off to their rooms for "quiet" time which usually turned into naps as long as they were in separate rooms.  Occasionally my 3 year old chose to take her nap in my office on one of those kiddie couches that fold out.   I worked as I could when they were entertained by their dad in the evenings (I assume you will probably have parties a lot of evenings).

Sadly, I do not have time to read great books, knit, or do any of those other lovely things that I hear other homeschool moms speak of but I am at home with my children and taking care of my family and that's what's important.  I love my job though and I think that's what makes the difference.

[MommaCrystal]

Originally Posted by J2 

MommaCrystal - No one can give me a very clear understanding of how much time it will take to do this direct sales company. Because of course, my director wants me to keep going and succeed and not quit. So they only share maybe what they want to share with me? But if it truly takes working the business daily, then I don't have that much to give. I would love to build a team and earn a $1000 a month. Oh that would be nice! But even if I just worked it minimally and made $250-$500 per month, that would help out a ton and provide my kids with activities through the month or help with homeschool curriculum. I am locked in this month because I have parties. So I will see if that reenergizes me after the slow January. IF I can make it work for me without feeling overwhelmed and if I can actually make more than I spend on the business so I can use that for my kids, then I would be happy even with just a few hundred extra dollars each month. It would be helpful...if the time put into it is worth. So I will see how it seems after this month. 

I think how much time it takes depends in part on what DS company you are working with.  If it is a craft like scrapbooking or stamping or something like that I think it takes more time. This is what I did. Residual sales are a big part of your income.  You want to keep your customers using what you sold them, and coming back for more.  So planning frequent events, completeing projects to show how YOU used the stuff, hitting the phones, sending newsletters, and perhaps blogging are all very important. Then you still have your parties, sales to enter, paperwork to complete, and product to deliver. If it is something like purses then I think it wouldn't take nearly as much time.  As there just isn't as much prep or creating involved.  You might do some newsletters and mailings so people will come back, but it just isn't the same thing.

I am now a photographer and a graphic designer.  It is SUPPOSED to take me 10-15 hours a week.  Ha!  It takes me much more than that.  I get up at 5:00am and work until about 8:00 while my husband helps the kids get going with breakfast and such.  Then he heads to his office for his day.  I homeschool the kids in the morning with my laptop nearby.  IF they are doing work they can do independently then I try to do some easier work things.  We have lunch and lots of days we head out for something or other.  Other days they take an hour long rest in the afternoon.  I work then.  When they get up we tackle household duties together.  When my husband is done with work I might get some work in if I need to while he cooks dinner.  After dinner is family time until the kids go to bed.  I might check email and such at that time but then I try to concentrate on my husband until we hit the hay and do it all over again the next day. 

I usually do my photo sessions on Saturday mornings or Sunday afternoons.  If I have a Wedding that could obviously be most of Friday or Saturday.  Once in a while I'll have something scheduled around 2:00pm during the week.  I keep those to days when my husband can be home to take the kids.  I just couldn't do what I do his support.  He's a gem.

I do have times when I just want to throw my hands up and toss it away.  Where I feel like I just need to stop the business and pay more attention to home and my kids and schooling.  It is a constant juggling act and I am always reassessing what is best.  As I've spent more time in this business more of it is coming easier.  I've found ways to outsource more of what I do.  I've gotten better at what I do.  So it is taking less time.  And some months I have almost no work.  Other months I'm slammed.  It isn't easy but for me, I'm happier with the business than without and it is a financial blessing for us.  So I keep going!

[craft_media_hero]

Uhhh, yeah, all the time!

I have a 10-12 hr/wk job, and I'm enrolled half-time in my last semester of undergrad. 

Yeah, I am about the lamest hs teacher around these days . . .

It's really hard. I totally identify with you. We need the money right now, so I work. I'm two classes away from graduating, so I go to school.

Homeschool has taken a big hit this semester, and I feel bad about it. I have no answers for you, just commiseration. 

[pinky]

I started working part-time 2 years ago, when my kids were 4 and 7.  I didn't really intend to start working, but an opportunity came up that I couldn't turn down--my dream job, really.  Which I can still do pt and mostly from home.  So this is a job that both makes me money and that I get stuff from in terms of using my brain and doing work that is meaningful to me.  I feel like it's pretty much an ideal situation, and still it's sometimes overwhelming.  There's no question that it cuts into our homeschooling time and my attention.  I do feel like overall it's worth it, but it's definitely challenging.

I have to say that if I were working only for the money, I wouldn't do it.  It's just too hard to juggle everything, and all the reasons I didn't go back to work after my kids were born are still there--they are still absolutely my first priority and I do feel like at times they get short shrift because of my job.

10 hrs/week doesn't sound like that much, but when life is already filled to the top, there isn't much room to fit anything else in!

[phathui5]

camprunner, thank you for your post!

OP, I've always combined working and homeschooling. It's not easy, but it can be done if you need to do it. However, if it's not something you have to do and you can afford to drop it, don't feel bad about focusing on your kids.