Wow! I can see that people are really sensitive about this! It honestly didn't seem like that big of deal to me. Here's a link to a Mothering article btw, I didn't make this term up! It's been around for awhile now. http://www.mothering.com/green-living/no-more-junk-toys-rethinking-childrens-gifts
I can tell that to some people I'm coming across as some sanctamonious ass. We do have plastic toys in the house, I'm just battle weary from all the clutter toys (I'll start using another term to as not offend!) from birthday parties, this and that, school... every where it seems. I'm tired of having it in my home, cluttering up my life. I'm tired of having to spirit it away in boxes or when I'm really tired simply throw it in the garbage. It seems like it's every where and endless! They don't need all this weird, little plastic stuff. They are perfectly happy without it. I have made exceptions for certain things believe me. Our toys are not wooden, handmade, cooperative.... etc, etc.... Calling cetain toys junk toys and explaining it to my kids in that way... it's like junk food, some food isn't good for your body or the earth, some toys aren't good for your brain or the earth. I just don't want them around me or my kids. I guess it's unavoidable though, is that what every one is saying, I should just give up? Take them to Toys R Us and load up? Hahahaha, I'm being sarcastic but shouldn't I at least try?????
I don't think you have to give up. You have certain rules for your house and that is completely understandable. I do think in some situations rules are meant to be bent or modified though. If you're worried about they toys that are coming into the house all you have to do is respectfully ask other parents to not allow their children to bring toys over when having play dates. You can assure the parents you have plenty of things to do to keep the kids busy, and sending toys with the child is unnecessary. To make it easier you can say that you've had situations in the past where toys have gotten left behind and it's created a problem and you're trying to avoid that situation again. If a toy gets brought to your house in a back pack or something from another child, you could allow them to show your child, and then ask them to please put it back in their bag so it doesn't get lost. If they push the topic and really really want to play with it, then you can just say "We have rules in our house and this is one of them". I think that's a lot easier for them to understand that than telling them their toy is "junk" and you don't allow it. I think kids can understand the value of not losing something they care about, rather than telling them something they care about is unworthy of your child playing with it.
I do think you should apologize to the mom, she was clearly offended if she made a comment to you about it. If the children are good friends and play well together it may not be a friend that your child wants to lose because of a toy. Maybe you could try to explain the situation to the mom a little more. Explain to her that you've had a lot of things coming into the house after the holidays and it's created so much clutter. Tell her that you're trying to rid the house of it, and having things like that around makes it hard for your child to be understanding of you removing the items from the home.