Hello... new here :)

[JPOUC]

Hi everyone!

My name is Jilly and I'm expecting my fifth baby in a few weeks.

I just fired my midwife (ok it was mutual) and am suddenly without a care provider.  After analyzing all our options, my hubby really thinks we should just stay home and do it ourselves.

I've assisted at many many homebirths and my mom had homebirths as well.  All of my kids were born at home although none unassisted.

I'm 36 weeks today so we're really coming into this at the last minute.

I'm excited about how gung ho my husband is... but think I might have a little bit of a case of knowing too much.  I've been to a few births where we were VERY glad the couple did not attempt to go unassisted.  But the majority of the births I've attended would have been just as perfect if we hadn't been there at all.  He's the one that has convinced me that this is the way to go and I think now I need to surround myself with positive and wonderful stories.

Nice to meet all of you :)

[tracymom1]

Hi there! Glad you found us! Welcome

[ElizabethE]

Hi Jilly! Welcome! I'm due right around the same time as you, and just several weeks back I too had to fire my midwives (which was also sort of mutual, come to think of it). See some of my comments below in your text-- in red.

Originally Posted by JPOUC 

Hi everyone!

My name is Jilly and I'm expecting my fifth baby in a few weeks.

I just fired my midwife (ok it was mutual) and am suddenly without a care provider.  After analyzing all our options, my hubby really thinks we should just stay home and do it ourselves. Great that he's so supportive and such a believer in your strength. My husband is also very supportive and smart.

I've assisted at many many homebirths and my mom had homebirths as well.  All of my kids were born at home although none unassisted.

I'm 36 weeks today so we're really coming into this at the last minute.

I'm excited about how gung ho my husband is... but think I might have a little bit of a case of knowing too much.  I've been to a few births where we were VERY glad the couple did not attempt to go unassisted. While I know this isn't always the case, I think that more often than not this has more to do with their environment, perhaps, rather than their need for assistance. I have found that in the majority of cases I'm hearing where the people were thankful that they were tended because XYZ turn for the worse occurred, that they "needed" their caregivers to solve, the case was really more along the lines of:  if the caregivers hadn't been there to begin with, there would have BEEN no dilemma. This is no slight to you in your experiences or all others who've attended births as this situation is typically not clear right away or easily observed as being the case. Usually there isn't a point of reference to compare this too, unless you've secretly watched people (or animals) give birth unassisted! However, with women even in hands-off scenarios, I find that the fight-flight natural biological response felt in the presences of "outsiders" often takes over despite the best efforts at inner peace for the laboring mother, and ends up interfering with or jeopardizing otherwise normal labors. Just a thought. Don't let what you've seen scare you. But the majority of the births I've attended would have been just as perfect if we hadn't been there at all. Ah, yes! He's the one that has convinced me that this is the way to go and I think now I need to surround myself with positive and wonderful stories.

Nice to meet all of you :)

Nice to meet you, too! You'll find lots of help around here and the occasional pop-in naysayers, but try not to let that get to you. For anything negative someone says, there is typically a perfectly sound and logical response to counter any misinformation or misconceptions spread. Peace and courage to you and healthy pursuit of your birth!
 

[JPOUC]

Thank you for taking the time write all of that Elizabeth!  And no, I certainly don't take it as a slight at all!  I mean, obviously I've never been to a birth where I wasn't wanted and it's THEIR birth experience to analyze... not mine.  You could very likely be right!  That would be up to the couple to decide :).

I need to reevaluate and think about things differently anyway if I'm going to be a card carrying UC'er in a few weeks ;) right??  heh heh.

I am interested to see how I respond to this labor.  I'm always amazed and a tad envious of women who are so present during their births.  For me, I'm so out of it and off in labor land that with every single one of my births I've been truly amazed and shocked when suddenly there is a baby on my tummy.  I mean my reaction is always one of such genuine surprise that I doubt I would behave differently if I gave birth to a puppy.  I've never even had a pushing urge with my kids... I just labor along sort of out of it and incoherent and then boom there's a baby lol.  I would love to be one of those mamas that is like "oh, I feel the baby coming down... I can feel the head ... etc..."  I watch videos of women pushing babies out and able to answer questions and talk coherently and of course I've been to plenty of those types of births too.

And then there's me.. mooing like a cow and yammering on about nonsense until all of a sudden I push out a baby and come back to planet earth lol.  I told a midwife friend that maybe I've been present because I never HAD to be.  There were plenty of other people paying attention to my body and my baby and I could drift off and away.  Maybe I'll be more with it this time out of necessity. 

Or I'll just moo like a cow and my husband can do all the work ;)

[JPOUC]

Oh and Elizabeth... I just noticed that it says you are in FL!  I am too :)  We're on the panhandle near Pensacola?  Whereabouts are you?

[ElizabethE]

Your experiences with your own births sound beautiful, to me. You enter a new state of consciousness, and I think that's very natural and probably exactly where you are supposed to go. My thought would be don't put too many expectations on yourself to behave just a certain way, but do expect maybe a little more peace and control than usual. It may not end up being drastically different from the previous! You sounded like you did excellently. We shall see how different it may be... ! I'm curious for you and your experience, too.

I'm in the North Central Florida areas, close kind of to Jacksonville, close kind of to Gainesville. :)

[JPOUC]

I know the area very well!  I lived in Gainesville years ago and my oldest was born at a (now closed) birth center there.  I also attended (but left early when my then ex had to deploy) midwifery school there.

[JPOUC]

Oh and YES!  I definitely enter a new state of consciousness.... or altered consciousness lol.  I would have definitely considered all of my births peaceful.... and certainly compared to a hospital birth they definitely were!  But I am looking forward to seeing how this experience compares to the others.  I have no doubt it will be even more empowering.  My husband is already talking about how he can't wait to tell our baby about how he was the one to catch her :)