Questions about potty training: especially what to do when out of the house!

[Chamomile Girl]

So apparently DS and I have taken the potty training plunge. I bought a potty with the intention of having DS just become accustomed to having it around for now, but he figured out what it was for pretty much right away and wanted to use it. He is very excited about the potty!

He has pooped in the potty exclusively for about a week and had lots of potty pees in the last few days.

Today I decided I should probably listen to the poor kid and get serious about this so we had naked time with the potty in an easily accessible place for him. Granted it was only for a few hours, and the potty is still a novelty (as is naked time!) but he had three or four pees in the potty and one big poo. All initiated by him. So yay!

My questions are as follows:

1. There have been many threads here in the past which say that once the kid is being potty trained they should not be put back into diapers at any time lest they become confused. How on earth then do you leave the house? What about at night time? What about during meals?

2. When the kid gets it, how do you get them to potty in public places like stores? He is not going to fit on an adult toilet and I think it would actually freak him out to be put on one. If I take his potty traveling and have him use it in the car, then what do I do with the...erm...results? Should I invest in a donut seat for use outside of pottychair land?

3. I bought him some trainer undies. When do these come into play? I don't want to use pull ups as he is not used to disposable diapers and I don't want to start using them now. Is there a diaper-like underwear thingie that is used in the interim between actual diapers and trainers? Or should I eventually have faith and just trust that he won't flood the carseat? When can I put him into the car without a diaper?

TIA...I'm probably just overthinking this whole thing, but there are so many more variables than with diapers. He may be ready but I'm not!

[Chamomile Girl]

Wait! I have more questions.

Does this mean I have to stop dressing him in onsies now? What about night time wear? No more footie jams, or romper-style jams? I hope this latter is not the case because I just bought a bunch more in one size up. Plus I layer a wool onsie under his jams because it gets cold in here at night. No more wool onsie?

Should I be offering him the potty when he wakes up? What about during the night when he wakes up?

Does he have to be able to pull his pants down himself yet? I don't think he can sit on the potty alone yet as it required a rather wide stance.

[pranava]

We are about where you are now.  Ds will be 2 in 2 months, and I plan on taking the plunge to full time undies then!  EEEKKK! 

Night time:  Except for night time, that is.  I think I will wait until we are accident free during the day for several months before doing night time undies - and then I will put a waterproof cover on the mattress. 

Clothing: I try to dress him in pants that pull down quickly and easily.  I put him in onsies on occasion, but only button one button.  They are a bit of a pain though.  He can't pull them down on his own yet, but he's getting there.

Seat type:  We use a ring on the big potty and a little potty in the living room.  I have a folding travel potty seat for out and about use.   I use it, but I hate it.  I have had a few types.  One broke and DS fell in the public toielet.  Yuck!!  I caught him before he hit the water.  Also, there is no gaurd for boys, so he manages to pee on the floor or his feet 3/4 of the time.  I'm trying to invent my own travel potty seat, but haven't had the time to work that out yet!!  Ha Ha - as if that time will EVER exist!!!  If anyone else knows of a good folding potty seat for boys, PLEASE clue me in!!!

Car:  There is something I've seen called a piddle pad for car seats.  When we go to undies full time, I will probably make a waterproof pad that fits the carseat out of one of the waterproof crib matress covers. 

Trainer Undies:  He is in undies full time at home, and we have accidents.  These accidents seem to be the ONLY way DS has learned to hold pee.  If the pee runs down his leg - he cares.  If he has a pull-up on, he will pee in it all day and not bat an eye. I have had to go back and forth between pull-ups and undies because of daycare.  I don't know if it is causing confusion or not.  I'm sure it's not productive, but daycare would just not put DS on the potty.  We've swithced daycares, so he will be in undies there too once he has adjusted.  At daycare, he will wear a Flip diaper cover loosely over his undies.    It won't keep him from leaking entirely if there's an accident, but it will save their carpet from a flood.  I'm sure once he is consistently in undies all the time - his potty learning will progress.

[lifeguard]

Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl 

So apparently DS and I have taken the potty training plunge. I bought a potty with the intention of having DS just become accustomed to having it around for now, but he figured out what it was for pretty much right away and wanted to use it. He is very excited about the potty!

He has pooped in the potty exclusively for about a week and had lots of potty pees in the last few days.

Today I decided I should probably listen to the poor kid and get serious about this so we had naked time with the potty in an easily accessible place for him. Granted it was only for a few hours, and the potty is still a novelty (as is naked time!) but he had three or four pees in the potty and one big poo. All initiated by him. So yay!

My questions are as follows:

1. There have been many threads here in the past which say that once the kid is being potty trained they should not be put back into diapers at any time lest they become confused. How on earth then do you leave the house? What about at night time? What about during meals?

2. When the kid gets it, how do you get them to potty in public places like stores? He is not going to fit on an adult toilet and I think it would actually freak him out to be put on one. If I take his potty traveling and have him use it in the car, then what do I do with the...erm...results? Should I invest in a donut seat for use outside of pottychair land?

3. I bought him some trainer undies. When do these come into play? I don't want to use pull ups as he is not used to disposable diapers and I don't want to start using them now. Is there a diaper-like underwear thingie that is used in the interim between actual diapers and trainers? Or should I eventually have faith and just trust that he won't flood the carseat? When can I put him into the car without a diaper?

TIA...I'm probably just overthinking this whole thing, but there are so many more variables than with diapers. He may be ready but I'm not!

1. Many people do train with success while using diapers at times. That's not what we did though. I never intended to stop using diapers at night but ds was pretty insistent. It hasn't been a problem because he's usually dry through the night. I have him go before bed, if he wakes in the night I offer but he pretty much NEVER wants to go in the middle of the night. Yes, I still put him in one piece pj's.

When we were first starting I made sure he tried sitting on the potty before we left the house, then as soon as we got somewhere I brought him to the bathroom to see it was there (& sometimes he would try again), reverse the process when we leave. It was time consuming but he quickly learned there were toilets everywhere & we didn't need to do the preview trip on arrival anymore.

For meals we just went along like any other activity in the house. If he had to go mid-meal we stopped & went.

2. I never actually used a potty, we just used a toilet seat reducer so when we starting I would carry a potty seat along with me. It worked great & within a few weeks I no longer needed to carry it - he can just balance on the big toilet - although I usually hold his hips to help him balance.

3. I didn't use trainers so I'm not sure. We just went straight to underwear.

Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl 

Wait! I have more questions.

Does this mean I have to stop dressing him in onsies now? What about night time wear? No more footie jams, or romper-style jams? I hope this latter is not the case because I just bought a bunch more in one size up. Plus I layer a wool onsie under his jams because it gets cold in here at night. No more wool onsie?

Should I be offering him the potty when he wakes up? What about during the night when he wakes up?

Does he have to be able to pull his pants down himself yet? I don't think he can sit on the potty alone yet as it required a rather wide stance.

4. I would stop with the onesies as they will just make getting to the potty in a timely matter more difficult. Like I said above we still one-piece pj's at night without a problem.

5. Offering immediately upon wake up & after naps is actually how we started our process. Ds is funny though - he takes awhile after waking up before he's ready to go.

6. No. Ds can get his pants down now but isn't really coordinated to do it quickly - I expect it will be awhile before is fully independent with pottying but that's ok - I'm no longer washing diapers!!!

[JudiAU]

Cloth underpants accellerate the process but most people continue to use diapers at night until LO is dry. When you are out and about you can either throw a little potty in car, take an insert for a big potty, or pee on the street. We just grab one of the bjorn little potties if we are going to be gone a long time.

I wouldn't assume that a public restroom is going to be traumatic. You don't want to pass your fears on, because a lot of kids never view them that way.

[Chamomile Girl]

Originally Posted by JudiAU 

Cloth underpants accellerate the process but most people continue to use diapers at night until LO is dry. When you are out and about you can either throw a little potty in car, take an insert for a big potty, or pee on the street. We just grab one of the bjorn little potties if we are going to be gone a long time.

I wouldn't assume that a public restroom is going to be traumatic. You don't want to pass your fears on, because a lot of kids never view them that way.

I'm only assuming a public restroom would be traumatic because he's a little guy and won't fit on the big toilet even if I hold him. Plus he finds public restroom noises frightening. I guess I am going to have to get a toilet seat reducer and see if he can use it. I'm skeptical though.

OK...so maybe I am trying to do this too early. DS can't tell me in words that he needs to go potty because he is not talking yet. He will point to his penis if he is dressed/diapered but by then its too late. When naked he will go right over to the potty and point and then I help him sit and he is good. But naked isn't going to work during meals because he is strapped into a chair, and I don't want him peeing on his booster chair! I'll never get all the pee out of the cracks if he does.

Oy.

So just when I think he totally gets the concept he climbed up on one of the living room recliners today, sat down, and wizzed all over it. So he certainly has the association of sitting with peeing, but I would really rather he not sit on my nice chair .

What do ECers do with their littles in public?

Oh, I'm still unclear what I should do with the poop if I bring a potty chair with me in the car? TMI but DS has total trucker poop and it sticks like glue. At home I just use the diaper sprayer to clean the seat, but in public...?

[Peony]

Night time PLing is completely different then daytime and can literally happen years and years apart. Night time dryness isn't something you can teach, it happens when they are physically. For some kids it may be at the same time or near, or not. So most kiddos do wear dipes at night, it is something they learn, we wear one at night, during the day, we pee in the potty.

For out and about, They make folding insert things for toilets. I just have always held my children up , we don't even try fitting their tiny bottoms on the seat and they do fine that way. I don't have a potty seat for the car, it is a I HAVE TO GO THIS VERY SECOND  and there is nary a bathroom in sight then I find someplace I can hold them over grass, etc... then clean up afterwards. Plastic bags in cars are good for this. Onesies never work for us once they are going in the potty because when a newly learning child realizes they have to go, you dash to the toilet, pulling down as quickly as possible, or maybe that is just all my kids.... Learning how to pull up clothes take time, for a while you are going to be involved every step of the way, gradually they learn these skills. 

[Zimbah]

How old is your son?  There's one view that says once you start potty training you need to go the whole hog and never use nappies again, and another that thinks this isn't necessary.  I have the second view although I know there might be some children that it doesn't work for, but neither does the other method work for all children.  We started with DD around 18 months last summer, she wasn't verbal enough to say wee-wee consistently and it was fine.  She was nakey-bottom for a couple of weeks to get the initial idea, and I mostly stayed at home during that time - when we went out she was back in pullups. I kept a potty in whichever room we were in so she could go over to it even if she couldn't say it.  When we were out we took her to the loo using a folding potty, sometimes she sat and did a wee, sometimes she didn't, sometimes she didn't want to try which was fine.  I always praised her for trying even if she didn't actually wee, and sometimes used a 'reward' of washing her hands as she loves to do that.  Then we went back to using pull-ups at home as she wasn't reliably dry, but she still liked to use the potty for many wees and almost all poos.  Then we progressed to cloth pants at home (I use Bright Bots cloth pants) which meant at least puddles didn't travel so far, but pull-ups always for going out.  Over xmas and during teething times she regressed back to full-time disposables.  Now at 2y3m I've taken the plunge and it's knickers only, apart from nap times and night time.  She's doing really great, we've been out and about and I always take the porta-potty (Pottette Plus, but there are other brands too i think) with me, sometimes she likes to put it on the loo in public/friends houses, sometimes she wants to use it on the floor with a bag.  For the car or the buggy I put a cotton/towelling waterproof liner on it to protect it.

For your mealtimes, how about getting some towelling liners and putting them on the booster chair? Mealtimes were a big wee-time for us at first, and any time she was sitting in her highchair e.g. to draw, we had a lot of accidents like that, I got used to mopping up the floor as it made a lovely cascade from the seat of the highchair to the footrest and then to the floor, splashing all around   I just kept reminding her that wees go in the potty.  Now that she's older and really getting the hang of it I tell her that everyone has to do a wee before mealtimes (and before going out) and then model that myself - not too difficult as I'm 6m preg and need to wee pretty much any time

Re the poop when out, if you get one of the porta-potties that you use with a bag, then you can attempt to tip the poo into an available loo, and/or just fasten up the bag (chuck some loopaper in to absorb wee so it doesn't splash around) and either find a suitable bin that takes nappies, or take it home - admittedly quite gross but at least it's contained.

Re the accident on the sofa, DD had quite a lot of accidents in the early stages - she'd go for maybe a week with all wees in the potty, and then I'd be cleaning up a puddle two or three times a day for several days in a row and I thought I had started too early or was doing it wrong.  But ultimately it's all worked out fine, and as DD took to the potty really well for poop, I would rather clean up fifty wee puddles in exchange for avoiding one dirty nappy!

[Surfer Rosa]

My questions are as follows:

1. There have been many threads here in the past which say that once the kid is being potty trained they should not be put back into diapers at any time lest they become confused. How on earth then do you leave the house? What about at night time? What about during meals?

We used diapers at night and for naps for quite a while (DD and DS were both out of dipes around 20 mos, but dropped them for naps around 24 mos, and at night around 26 mos (DS) and 30 mos (DD). It didn't seem to confuse them. There is a definite leap of faith when you go out-I just tried to time it so that DC would pee before we left, and I quickly learned every location of every decent bathroom in our area :) We had a "pee pad" in the carseat, but only had one accident in the car (with several quick pullovers/pees on the side of the road...nice!)

2. When the kid gets it, how do you get them to potty in public places like stores? He is not going to fit on an adult toilet and I think it would actually freak him out to be put on one. If I take his potty traveling and have him use it in the car, then what do I do with the...erm...results? Should I invest in a donut seat for use outside of pottychair land?

Try sitting side saddle! We also have a folding potty seat, and lots of bathrooms have stepstools, so DS could pee standing up. Both of my kids are reluctant to use public bathrooms for poos, but it hasn't been an issue.

3. I bought him some trainer undies. When do these come into play? I don't want to use pull ups as he is not used to disposable diapers and I don't want to start using them now. Is there a diaper-like underwear thingie that is used in the interim between actual diapers and trainers? Or should I eventually have faith and just trust that he won't flood the carseat? When can I put him into the car without a diaper?

We never really used training pants (the waffley ones or the cloth ones). Both kids were in cloth dipes, and I found when they were in cloth trainers, they would use them. We used pullups here and there (when out, if I wasn't sure there was a bathroom handy, if they hadn't pood yet...etc.) and it didn't confuse them or encourage them to stay in dipes.

Good luck!
 

[msmiles]

I think the "diaper confusion" conviction precludes personality type and reduces a parent's accessibility to the creativity needed to contend with potty training.

So here's my story. My son is 2 1/2 and has been potty training all winter. I have consistently explained to him that he can only wear diapers when he's sleeping and when we go for a "car ride," which is an all encompassing phrase for grocery store, etc. That recurring explanation has been enough for him--he hasn't needed diapers or asked for diapers in the house since we started.

We potty trained in a way to be sensitive to his needs. For instance, he just could not not have an accident if we put the little boy underwear or pull ups on him. He didn't understand he wasn't supposed to pee in them because they're too much like diapers. So, nixed that. And right off the bat he thought being naked was so much fun, and he also rarely had an accident if we let him run around naked. So the obvious and most logical choice for us was to let him take control of his own potty training and run around without pants. The compromise on nakedness IMO led him to a successful potty training. However, some days it really feels like all I see are his little butthole and balls. :)

We used to check up on him and put him on the potty nearly every 10 minutes (Do you need to pee? Let's go try to pee) and have since graduated to pants wearing with nothing underneath and check ups/imposed potty time only if he's busy with a movie or playing…because that's the only time he'll have accidents.

I wasn't sure I was going about it in a "right" way until I attended a 4 year olds birthday party and all the other moms acted incredulous when I told them I wasn't sure if I should just let him run around naked. Evidently, that's how they all got their sons to pee. As for diapering, as I mentioned, we diaper when we go for car rides and when we go outside. That's probably a lot because of my son's temperament. He's scared of the loud flushes of public toilets, but I intend on starting to ask him to pee when we're out and about, sooner or later. I want him to learn to be conscious and responsible of his body's needs when he's in a strange and busy environment, but obviously that demands another level of maturity. When we're just playing right outside, we potty beforehand and I take him in to go potty every twenty minutes. If we're out on a walk, he's diapered. If he visits a friends house and I'm not there, to be polite to the other parent, I diaper. If I'm there, we don't diaper. I take his diaper off as soon as he wakes up, and I put it on him only as soon as he's ready for bed.

This absolutely works for us. My son is not confused at all. He has "night time" diapers and "car ride" diapers because I know that otherwise I would have a lot of unnecessary mess to clean up and a wet, grumpy little boy. When he gets older, I'll adjust this strategy. Keep in mind though I didn't really strategize any of this. I just went along with what worked for him. I found that potty training expert advice, research and advice was overwhelming and partial, one way or another. I just made sure my son was independent and conscious enough to control his bladder, went with it and responded in ways that worked for him and with him instead of against him. Potty training at first was so very overwhelming--I felt so helpless and confused--but once we found our system--and we were both astute enough to be sensitive to his personality and body's needs--we haven't looked back.

[brennan]

For public toilets, I hold dd onto the toilet sideways (she's not sideways lol but she's on the toilet sideways).  I kinda do the ecing stance, I hold her under her arm pits, her butt's over the hole and her legs are on the seat and she holds onto my legs.  We started like this when she was probably 20 months?  Before that we used a toilet ring that was smaller, but I didn't find that they fit on all toilets and were just sketchier.  We always keep a toilet in the car, and as long as its a pee it gets dumped on the parking lot.  Though don't just chuck it, bend down and dump it or it will splatter and no one likes that.

I would say yes stop onsies and if you want to do night time then yeah go with pants/shirts.  We do a wool t-shirt under all of our clothes, so still keeps her warm but isn't a onsie.

We used diapers while going out while she "got it" and wasn't reliable but as soon as she got it and would go if we put her on the potty we stopped the diapers.  We still use them at night, 6ish months after she's been day pl'd.  I'm starting this spring.  Its just not something that I felt like dealing with as we were dealing with other night time issues and I didn't want to compound the problems.

[myfairbabies]

Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl 

So apparently DS and I have taken the potty training plunge. I bought a potty with the intention of having DS just become accustomed to having it around for now, but he figured out what it was for pretty much right away and wanted to use it. He is very excited about the potty!

He has pooped in the potty exclusively for about a week and had lots of potty pees in the last few days.

Today I decided I should probably listen to the poor kid and get serious about this so we had naked time with the potty in an easily accessible place for him. Granted it was only for a few hours, and the potty is still a novelty (as is naked time!) but he had three or four pees in the potty and one big poo. All initiated by him. So yay!

My questions are as follows:

1. There have been many threads here in the past which say that once the kid is being potty trained they should not be put back into diapers at any time lest they become confused. How on earth then do you leave the house? What about at night time? What about during meals?

2. When the kid gets it, how do you get them to potty in public places like stores? He is not going to fit on an adult toilet and I think it would actually freak him out to be put on one. If I take his potty traveling and have him use it in the car, then what do I do with the...erm...results? Should I invest in a donut seat for use outside of pottychair land?

3. I bought him some trainer undies. When do these come into play? I don't want to use pull ups as he is not used to disposable diapers and I don't want to start using them now. Is there a diaper-like underwear thingie that is used in the interim between actual diapers and trainers? Or should I eventually have faith and just trust that he won't flood the carseat? When can I put him into the car without a diaper?

TIA...I'm probably just overthinking this whole thing, but there are so many more variables than with diapers. He may be ready but I'm not!

I used this method, sort of, and it worked great. But I would put dd in a diaper when we went out, but just told that she could stay dry, and she did. So after a couple days of that I stopped putting diapers on her for going out. It's been nearly a month (she 20 months tomorrow) and she's never had an accident in public. I bought the potette plus on amazon and use that on gross public toilets, but if we're at her little gym class, I just set her on the toilet and she can actually stay on just fine, legs almost doing a split. I do squat in front of her and sort of hold her under her arms, but that's just secondary and to prevent her from touching too much of the toilet (she'll stick her hand right in the water if I let her, blech!). At home we have a little potty that we use in whatever room we're in. We just put waterproof sheets on the bed and since she's been dry in the morning for over a week, I've started putting her in underwear at night. So far so good, and now I don't have to deal with one cloth diaper a day to wash! I'd rather wash the sheets once a week (if she even wets that often) than deal with one diaper a day.

 

Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl 

Wait! I have more questions.

Does this mean I have to stop dressing him in onsies now? What about night time wear? No more footie jams, or romper-style jams? I hope this latter is not the case because I just bought a bunch more in one size up. Plus I layer a wool onsie under his jams because it gets cold in here at night. No more wool onsie?

Should I be offering him the potty when he wakes up? What about during the night when he wakes up?

Does he have to be able to pull his pants down himself yet? I don't think he can sit on the potty alone yet as it required a rather wide stance.

I hate onsies anyway, but I wouldn't put them on during the day because it's hard to enough to get her undressed in time! If he doesn't pee at night (my dd doesn't she just holds it all night even though she nurses all night too), then one piece is fine. But if he asks to pee in the middle of the night, it would probably be a big pain to deal with. We lay in bed and do the early morning nursing until she jumps up and yells "PEE!" Then she goes and we are up for the day. DD definitely cannot pull her pants down, or up, or do any dressing by herself.

[NaturalMama311]

I don't mean to hijack this thread but we are in the midst of potty training here and I have just about all the same questions!  One thing that I'm struggling with right now is that DD does great about going in the potty if she runs around all day with no pants or underwear on.  If I put pants on her she has accidents, if she's naked butt she goes in the potty every single time.  I'm fine with her running around with no pants when its just us but what do I do when we have company over?  I'm having a friend over this week and I don't think it's appropriate for her to be running around the house half naked when people come over, but I don't want her to have accidents or put her in a diaper either. 

Also, when should I start putting her in pants again?  Should I wait until she has established a good routine of going to the potty on her own without being reminded or asked if she has to potty?  I try every morning to put her in pants but she has an accident before lunch.  The days I don't put pants on her she goes on her own or with a simple reminder.