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If you SAH but also have a nanny or mother's helper I want to hear from you! - Page 2

post #21 of 63

I do too. I have a nanny that comes 2 a week for just a few hours during the day, then once a week for a date with my husband. It has been amazing for us. Right now we are using our "Date night" hours for extra help because I just had surgery and am not allowed to lift my kids and my 16 months still needs a lot of lifting.

 

I do work from home too, so I don't feel guilty. And now with my surgery recovery no one even questions it.

 

We are putting both kids in a coop preschool next fall, but we will keep the nanny for date nights.

post #22 of 63

I WAH and in May (after school is out for the summer) Ill have a mothers helper for 6 hours one day a week. She is 12, and she Ill be home the whole time, just most of it in another room. I can do most stuff, but we have a lot of number crunching that has to happen once a week and I cannot do math and the baby at the same time (I can barely do math period.).

post #23 of 63

Nope...don't see the point in having someone here while I am here.  The number one reason I am a SAHM is that I want to be the one raising my kids not someone else.  I have 2 kids 19 months and 33 months...and twin boys due in July.  Will have 4 kids 3 years and younger and all 4 will more then likely will be in diapers full-time. 

post #24 of 63
Thread Starter 
Well that makes me feel great thanks for posting!
post #25 of 63

Actually i feel the same as nktigger99 ABOUT PARENTING, but i would LOVE LOVE LOVE it if we could pay someone to come in and clean, do laundry and iron for me!  I mean LOVE it.

 

Seriously, i love BFing, i love answering DD1's endless "why"'s, i love going to the park, the museum, taping a sheet to the floor and letting everyone go wild with paint...but seriously, i cannot get attached to washing stinky nappies, scraping porridge off the carpets and cleaning the toilet...

 

I actually enjoy cooking so i don't mind doing that, i generously (lol) include that as a SAHM task since i like doing it.  But loading the dishwasher...no.  DP does that!  LMAO!

 

Don't feel bad dalia, every family/person deals with the little-kids phase differently.  We simply cannot afford for someone else to come in and do the bits of home-work i hate.  We could if i WOH, but i'd rather get the SAHMing and deal with the ironing than miss out on both.  If i could affird it there'd be a lady vacuuming under my feet right now! ;)

post #26 of 63

If I was rich...

 

I agree with the PPs who said they SAH so they can do it all for their own kids.  If I was WAH, I would have a nanny if needed.  But I didn't actually have a "job" (yes, I know, just plain old being a mom is a job) I would never dream of paying someone to be in my home while I was there, doing things for my kids that I was perfectly capable of doing myself.

 

However...in my fantasy world, I would have a twice weekly housekeeper and a personal chef who specialized in TF cooking.

post #27 of 63

Dalia- don't feed the trolls!  orngbiggrin.gif

 

I just quit my job recently to SAH but am keeping my nanny 5-10 hours a week for a few reasons. The first and most important is that my son loves her and she truly is like family. The second is because when we decided I would stay home we also decided that I would let my husband focus on his career which means a LOT more hours. He did the bulk of the cooking, shopping, cleaning, laundry. That is now my "job" so to speak. I want my transition home to be more quality time together with my son so keeping my nanny allows me to get the errands/shopping done w/o having to drag him along. Eventually she is going to transition to sitting once/twice a month for our "date" nights but for now it is the perfect solution.

post #28 of 63

I wish I could.....my productivity would be so much more.  My dh travels extensively for his job in 3-4 month stretches, and then is home for 6-8 months.  Having someone come in for a few hours a week to entertain the baby while I caught up with sewing, cleaning, whatever would be wonderful.

 

Fortunately, I have 4 older children who do entertain the baby on weekends, so I try to play catch up then, but it seems like I can't ever get ahead, or have time to relax myself.

 

I say if this is what works for your family, enjoy it and don't feel guilty.  

post #29 of 63
Thread Starter 
I know you guys mean well, but no one else is raising my child. And I do breastfeed, no bottles. This thread was kind of meant as a support group for those that sah but have help.
post #30 of 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by dalia View Post

I know you guys mean well, but no one else is raising my child. And I do breastfeed, no bottles. This thread was kind of meant as a support group for those that sah but have help.


Don't you know by now that is someone even holds your child for longer than 5 minutes, you can no longer take credit for raising your own children? LOL Ignore it, hun.

post #31 of 63
Thread Starter 
Lol. Darn trolls! Tried not to feed them but they are so cute and furry!!

Okay, my over-sensitivity is showing. Gonna go take an hour long bubble bath and drink copious amounts of champagne..
post #32 of 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by dalia View Post

I know you guys mean well, but no one else is raising my child. And I do breastfeed, no bottles. This thread was kind of meant as a support group for those that sah but have help.


I don't think they meant well at all, tbh.  I am at a complete loss as to why they felt the need to post in this thread, except as some sort of attention seeking device so we could all applaud their parenting.

 

Not gonna happen.  In the history of the world, I don't think there's ever been anyone who could afford it who didn't hire help with the kids and the house.  Until, of course, MDC came along.

post #33 of 63

First off I am not a troll.  I am just a new member...well I have been a member for awhile but have just gotten around to posting more.  The topic of this post was a question...do you have outside help?...my answer is no.  We could afford it but chose not to because I am home all day for the purpose of taking care of my kids...of course part of that is taking care of the house,bills and all that fun stuff or not so fun stuff like scrubing the toliets.  If I needed to work or chose to work outside of the home I would have a nanny/or childcare but honestly it is not something I would do by choice.  If we chose to send out kids to school (may do homeschool) then I will work during school hours if I chose to but still be home during the time they are home.  Like I said my number one reason for being a SAHM is to be here with my kids...not to have someone else take care of them for me.  It isn't always easy...being on limited activity with a 2 year old and a 1 year old and being huge with twins makes for interesting days...but we get by. 

post #34 of 63

I don't understand the snark directed at nktigger99... she provided her honest response to the question.  It reflects poorly on our community if an opposing viewpoint engenders passive-aggressive personal attacks.

post #35 of 63
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by dalia View Post

I do. And sometimes I feel guilty, or like people are judging me because why on earth do I need help if i'm just at home all day. Granted my dh travels a lot...

But then other times I feel really good about it. I liken it to the days when women weren't expected to do it all and had lots of help from their "village".

So if you have hired help I want to hear what it's like for you!


Okay, here is the original post, posted by me. As you can see I'm not asking a question (the title does, but I assumed people would read the post.. maybe I will change the title..). What I do say is that I sometimes feel guilty, which I think would be a clue to not post anything that would make me feel worse, like suggesting that someone else is raising my children.

 

So, back to the original plan.. If you SAH and also have someone who helps you, or if you wish you did and just want to talk, would love to hear from you. If you think the whole idea of having help while you SAH is ridiculous and can do it all, then I honestly applaud you, seriously, I don't know how the heck you do it... But I'm sorry this just isn't the place to post.

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by bluebackpacks View Post

I don't understand the snark directed at nktigger99... she provided her honest response to the question.  It reflects poorly on our community if an opposing viewpoint engenders passive-aggressive personal attacks.



 

post #36 of 63

Dalia, If I had the money, I would have a mother's helper in a hot second. It is so hard. I feel like I literally do laundry, nurse, feed, change, and everything else. Obviously we can all agree that we SAH to be the main caregiver of our children, but it wouldn't hurt to have another pair of hands or loving arms around during the day.

 

Hugs.

post #37 of 63

Well, i definitely would love help and can't "do it all" (whatever that means).  In fact at a rough estimate i have about 9 loads of dirty washing to do but instead i'm posting here :P

 

I'm sorry if i made you feel bad dalia!  My intention was quite the reverse, and i didn't mention BFing because i thought you didn't BF (or even thought about it) it is just that feeding the baby (by breast or bottle) is such a massively time-consuming bit of the parenting job in the first year, as are the other stuff i mentioned (for me anyway).

 

If it's any consolation, though we don't live in clutter or filth i am usually the one being criticised on those "how does your housework routine look" threads.  I literally fire-fight the housework.  I would love some help, and i'm really glad there are folks out there who have it!  I've just begun working again (literally a few hours a week) as a freelance administrator and i joke with DP, the second i'm earning a notable amount of money we're getting a cleaner ;)  I actually looked at a few "offered" ads in the week, but they charge £7.50/hour and i earn £10/hour so after tax i would literally be earning nothing...still slightly tempted though LMAO!

post #38 of 63

And so the cycle begins...

 

Do the WOH partners not "raise" their children? 

 

oh-never mind. irked.gif

 

Dalia- you are raising your child whether you have some one to help 40+ hours a week or 4 hours a week. Just ask your children love.gif

post #39 of 63

Yup! I do! I have had one all along while I was working toward SAH, so I didn't have the issues of finding someone. It worked out that she wanted to nanny less and teach (dance) more, so it works out well. I think it helps me be a better mother. DD just said "I've been waiting and waiting for a babysitter day!" Younger, more energy, no need to fold the laundry and do the dishes; I think it's great for the kids, although when I was working and it was every day, they hated that too and missed me. This is a nice balance. 

 

When DH travels, we get more sitting time, either with the regular nanny or a backup sitter. 

 

I'd love a house cleaning service, but can't swing it financially right now. 

 

 


Edited by EviesMom - 3/4/11 at 7:33am
post #40 of 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by HollyBearsMom View Post

And so the cycle begins...

 

Do the WOH partners not "raise" their children? 

 

oh-never mind. irked.gif

 

Dalia- you are raising your child whether you have some one to help 40+ hours a week or 4 hours a week. Just ask your children love.gif

What she said!
 

 

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