Giving up

[matthia]

Argh! I just wrote this whole thing out and the computer crashed!

Ok, Finn is 7mo, EC'ed part time from birth. It was great, I caught lots. There were some weeks were a bare handful of diapers were used and none for poops. But he's never had very strong signals.

Christmas comes, we head home to visit family. He's in disposables the whole time. I do the best I can but pottying is infrequent. Diaper changes are as often as he needs them, although I find it hard to tell with disposables. We get home, routine is normal (ie lots of diaper free time) my catch rate goes down. A week later we go to Seattle for the weekend. He's in disposables again.

A day after we get back he comes down with a wicked bad diaper rash. It spreads to cover his whole torso. Doc says it looks like an allergic reaction, could be to something he was exposed to weeks ago apparantly. Nothing has changed in our diet or daily life, we assume it was something like, oh, the sheets in the hotel. Regardless, it itches. So I keep Finn covered up and in diapers for almost three weeks or else he will scratch himself raw. I offer potty at regular intervals, after sleep, etc. Make almost no catches.

His rash has been healed for almost 2 weeks. He is diaper free for HOURS a day, sometimes 6, 7, 8. He's in a diaper at night because he will wake just enough to pee but not enough for me to notice. We can't afford to soak our matress with baby pee. He's also in a daiper when we leave the house. It's just easier. I use public transportation and I don't want to have to carry around a massive bag with several changes of clothes for each of us in case of an accident. He does get changed often though.

I haven't made a catch in WEEKS. I try. Oh, I try so hard. I sit on the floor and watch him for hours. I will offer him the potty, the toilet, a prefold on the floor every 15 minutes for 2hours straight and he won't pee at all. But the minute I turn my back (to get a glass of water, let the dog out, etc) he'll pee on the floor.

I don't care if he pees on the floor. It's just his playmats or our laminate. I don't care if he pees on me. I can always change. But it is just SO discouraging. I don't know what else to do. He has NO signals. Even just trying to time it doesn't work. I'll take him right after he wakes from a nap but it's too early and he isn't awake enough to muster up a pee. Then next time I'll wait a little too long and he already went pee in his diaper....

What do I do? Any suggestions? any BTDT? Is this just a strike?

[Carlyle]

I'm no expert, but wanted to give you hugs!  That sounds so frustrating!  It sounds like you've had a lot going on recently.  That coupled with the fact that at 7 months, babies are learning SO much...maybe he's just too distracted right now to care as much.  Don't beat yourself up about it!  Whatever you can do to stay relaxed and happy with it is great.  Offer at the easy times and don't stress. 

If you're really okay with messes, what I'd do is keep him naked when you have energy and don't offer at all.  Just wait until he pees himself and make your cue sound (you peed!).  Don't worry about "catching" it, just get used to his rhythm again.  The reason I say this is that with dd1, she'd go through these spurts where she could hold it longer that I expected.  Then I'd be offering too often, she'd get annoyed with the whole thing, and stop signaling.  So if you can scale it back to the easy offers and then wait for him to signal, it might make a difference.

Okay, naked baby in bed is waking up...must run!  Good luCK!!!

[riboflavin]

Have you tried any of the 'typical' things to make pottying more exciting? Different locations for potty, different potties, different holds, special 'potty only' toys, story or song time for potty trips, etc? If so and nothing is working, maybe back off for a while to unstress yourself. But in the meantime maybe try some potty videos and new potty books without pressuring to actually use the potty. My sons both loved Once Upon a Potty. We would keep a little potty near the TV when the video was on and they would usually get excited and want to sit on it. Maybe it will help him decide that he *wants* to use it again.

Good luck! I know strikes can be frustrating. We lived through many, many of them!

[matthia]

Thanks for the encouragement ladies.

of course, after finally postinng something here, i made a catch later that day!

I have been keeping him diaper-less a lot and it's helping. One thing I realized was that I wasn't keeping him on the potty long enough. Also, what I thought was just itchiness from his rash, was actually a new cue.  (He grabs/pulls at his "area", It drives my husband crazy). So, I am feeling better.

@Carlyle: You were right, he's staying dry for a lot longer than he used to now, so I think part of it was offering too much and he just didn't want to bother anymore.

@Riboflavin: thanks for the tips. Finn's only 7mos so the books and videos would be a bit beyond him right now. I'll definitely keep them in mind for the future though!

[Shannie77]

My DD is 8 months and I have just started with her.  I started at 6-7 months with DD1 and she was in undies in the day by a year.

Anyways... don't stop!! You are already ahead of lots of us late starters! ;)  I find my DD likes when I read books to her while she sits on the potty or when I occupy her with some toys.  I keep a few in the bathrooms for this purpose.  When I put her on the potty I have a basket I turn upside down and I set some toys on that.  I work from home so I often just stick her there and try to get a couple minutes work done and wait for her to pee. :P