How can I get one month old to go two hours between feedings?

[DaisyMae08]

Well, I guess the title sort of says it all.  My baby boy is one month old today, and rarely makes it two hours without nursing.  He can do it at night - in fact last night we had two four hour stretches, followed by a two hour stretch which was our best sleep night ever.  During the day he wants to nurse every hour or hour and a half.  Sometimes he doesn't even make it that long.  He has his next appointment with the pediatrician on Monday and I know she's going to ask me about it.  Last time she told me to try stretching him to two hours and I still haven't been able to do it.  And I'd like to do it because this just feels so overwhelming to me (though I feel guilty that I feel overwhelmed...if that makes any sense at all).  Anybody have words of wisdom for a first time mom?

[mra]

I don't have any advice but I wanted to tell you that you aren't alone! My LO is seven weeks old and almost always wants to nurse at least every hour except during a long afternoon nap (some days) and at night. We have days like today where I can't get her off my boob! I understand how overwhelming it can be. I also understand feeling bad about just wanting a bit of a break.

[EmTheWife]

Hugs to you mama, the first few weeks can be rough!

Is it safe to assume you are breastfeeding exclusively?  (that's how I am going to answer, OK?)

You should NOT be trying to get your new bundle to go two hours between feedings at this point - he's still trying to build your milk supply to the amount he needs; this takes about 6 weeks!  If your pediatrician is encouraging you to schedule your feedings (which is what making baby go 2 hours is), he/she clearly does not know what is best for baby when it comes to breastfeeding.

Breast milk is quickly digested, and baby's tummy is only the size of his fist.  I would recommend to cross post to the breastfeeding forum, and see and IBCLC or LC to discuss feeding concerns - pediatricians are health practitioners, not nutritionist.

Also, BFing is more than just nutrition or food; it's comfort, love, companionship, nurture, joy, healing, encouragement...

Try to cut down on or cut out other things - laundry, cooking, visitors who won't help around the house - before you see breastfeeding your lo as the culprit for stress, because honestly, BFing causes you to release oxytocin, which is a calming and pleasure-inducing hormone (same hormone as that of the big "O"!

[Schae]

i completely agree with the advice on breastfeeding and establishing your supply. You and baby are still getting to know one another- give yourselves a break and take it easy :) If your munchkin is already going 4 hours without food at night, then he needs to fill up during the day - so let him feed as often as he wants to. Babies tummies are very small and get empty quickly - he needs to eat often to gain weight and also for comfort and lovies. 

[lrgs]

First of all, hugs for you because I was in your shoes not long ago, I felt very overwhelmed with everything. My DD is 6.5 months now and she nursed almost constantly for the first couple months. I was having a hard time adjusting to looking after two littles while trying to always nurse DD. I was so fortunate to have my DH home for the first 4 weeks and it was so helpful but when he left I had a hard time. Our first 4 weeks were spent sitting and nursing, then she nursed about every 1.5 hours until she was about 2.5 months old and spaced to 2 hours (on her own). It can be quite overwhelming and don't feel guilty admitting that..........it's a lot to manage. For us it was 1.5 hours between feeding and the whole feeding process (changing, etc) took half an hour so I had 1 hour in between.

 First of all, don't let your ped stress you out. He'll space out his feedings when he is ready to space out his feedings. As others have said, he's making up for those 4 hour stretches (which by the way, I'm insanely jealous of!!). Also, his tummy is very small and needs to be filled up frequently. It's also good for your milk supply and another thing to remember is that they are not only nursing for nourishment, they are also nursing for comfort. The best thing to do is to take a breath and prioritize stuff. Make sure you have some one handed snacks for yourself to enjoy, a nice big water bottle and a comfortable place to sit. Something has to give and it will likely be housework and cooking........easier said then done but don't feel guilty, you do what you havve to to get by. I remember hitting sort of a wall of "overwhelmedness" around 7 weeks (with both DD's) and I remember asking on Facebook how to space out feedings. A great friend of mine (who is a post part and birth doula) told me "She will start spacing her feedings when her little body is ready to space her feedings"..........she also phoned me and sort of talked me off the edge. It changed my way of thinking on it and minimized my stress.

Take care Mama.

[mommy68]

Sounds pretty normal to me! Hang in there, those first few months are very tough. But this first year will fly by, try to just enjoy that aspect of it.

[Knitting Mama]

Originally Posted by EmTheWife 

Hugs to you mama, the first few weeks can be rough!

Is it safe to assume you are breastfeeding exclusively?  (that's how I am going to answer, OK?)

You should NOT be trying to get your new bundle to go two hours between feedings at this point - he's still trying to build your milk supply to the amount he needs; this takes about 6 weeks!  If your pediatrician is encouraging you to schedule your feedings (which is what making baby go 2 hours is), he/she clearly does not know what is best for baby when it comes to breastfeeding.

Breast milk is quickly digested, and baby's tummy is only the size of his fist.  I would recommend to cross post to the breastfeeding forum, and see and IBCLC or LC to discuss feeding concerns - pediatricians are health practitioners, not nutritionist.

Also, BFing is more than just nutrition or food; it's comfort, love, companionship, nurture, joy, healing, encouragement...

Try to cut down on or cut out other things - laundry, cooking, visitors who won't help around the house - before you see breastfeeding your lo as the culprit for stress, because honestly, BFing causes you to release oxytocin, which is a calming and pleasure-inducing hormone (same hormone as that of the big "O"!

Originally Posted by lrgs 

First of all, hugs for you because I was in your shoes not long ago, I felt very overwhelmed with everything. My DD is 6.5 months now and she nursed almost constantly for the first couple months. I was having a hard time adjusting to looking after two littles while trying to always nurse DD. I was so fortunate to have my DH home for the first 4 weeks and it was so helpful but when he left I had a hard time. Our first 4 weeks were spent sitting and nursing, then she nursed about every 1.5 hours until she was about 2.5 months old and spaced to 2 hours (on her own). It can be quite overwhelming and don't feel guilty admitting that..........it's a lot to manage. For us it was 1.5 hours between feeding and the whole feeding process (changing, etc) took half an hour so I had 1 hour in between.

 First of all, don't let your ped stress you out. He'll space out his feedings when he is ready to space out his feedings. As others have said, he's making up for those 4 hour stretches (which by the way, I'm insanely jealous of!!). Also, his tummy is very small and needs to be filled up frequently. It's also good for your milk supply and another thing to remember is that they are not only nursing for nourishment, they are also nursing for comfort. The best thing to do is to take a breath and prioritize stuff. Make sure you have some one handed snacks for yourself to enjoy, a nice big water bottle and a comfortable place to sit. Something has to give and it will likely be housework and cooking........easier said then done but don't feel guilty, you do what you havve to to get by. I remember hitting sort of a wall of "overwhelmedness" around 7 weeks (with both DD's) and I remember asking on Facebook how to space out feedings. A great friend of mine (who is a post part and birth doula) told me "She will start spacing her feedings when her little body is ready to space her feedings"..........she also phoned me and sort of talked me off the edge. It changed my way of thinking on it and minimized my stress.

Take care Mama.

Here is the best advice, Mama. Remember also, it's very common to have a growth spurt between 4-8 weeks. Don't worry, they start to go longer between feedings! But even now, at 10 months, my daughter rarely goes more than 2 hours when she's awake. She'll sleep up to 6 hours without nursing at night but during the day she still is on a lot!

[motherhendoula]

How can you get your 4 week old to go 2 hours between feedings? 

  - wait until he is 12 weeks old!

This is perfectly normal infant behavior.  Enjoy the occassional 4 hour stretch between feedings whenever they may happen and know that youre full time job right now is feeding the baby, and it IS a full time job! 

The days may seem long, but the years are short.

[DaisyMae08]

Thanks everybody.  You've made me feel better.  I was really starting to feel like I was doing something wrong.  I just can't get him to wait that long the majority of the time.  And don't be too jealous of the 4 hour stretches - last night was the one and only time that has ever happened.  Tonight isn't looking too promising...

[LittleBirdy]

Just wanted to add something to give you perspective since it sounds like you are a first time mom, like me.

Like everyone else said, totally normal - DS nursed pretty much every hour for probably the first 6-8 weeks and now at 6.5 months he can go about 3 hours during the day (and about an hour at night but that's a different story altogether!)

But one thing I remember about well baby visits at that age is that DS's doctor never once asked me how often he was eating.  She checked his growth and asked about diaper count but never frequency of eating.  I don't want to sound judgy but your pedi's comments raise a red flag with me that you might have some breastfeeding battles with him/her in your future.  Just my two cents!

And on feeling overwhelmed - it feels so endless when they are that little but then they are six months old and you wonder where the time went.  Everyone told me that when my son was that age and I didn't believe it but it's true!

[PatioGardener]

Sounds like you are doing really well with your baby, Mama, and might like some useful phrases to say to your ped

I actually got into Mama Bear mode once and yelled at a resident who had told me that my EBFed 4 week old was "feeding too often" and I must space out feeds. I think I may have threatened her with a 'special place in hell for people who jeopardize a mother's milk supply'.

For my doctor I used phrases like "breastfeeding is going well, thanks for asking" and "I'm not sure how often I feed, because I'm feeding on demand like the Canadian Pediatric Society recommends, how is his weight gain?" or "I feed him whenever he is hungry, like the latest recommendations say to."

[crunchy_mommy]

My now-2yo DS nursed every 1/2 hour for most of his first year (in fact, he still nurses almost that often or more, many days...) despite me having a huge oversupply.... And I spent most of his first ~6 months or so worrying about it & trying to change it. Finally, I read some interesting info, cultural studies, for ex., that indicated to me that this "every 1.5-2 hours" thing is a societal construct, not necessarily how babies were MEANT to feed. In many cultures, babies nurse as often as my DS or even more (I believe one culture averaged 5 times per hour, though the feedings were shorter duration). I think many babies CAN adapt early on to our societal standard of every 2 hours (though sometimes at the detriment of mom's milk supply), but some babies hold more strongly to their design, it's a survival instinct, if that makes sense -- it makes them strong, at least in an evolutionary sense!

OK I'm sure I sound like some nut-job, and if you really want to increase the spacing between feedings, I'm sure there is a way, but I just wish someone had told me when DS was born that it was NOT abnormal for my baby to nurse as often as he did!! Once I accepted that & just 'gave in' to basically round-the-clock non-stop nursing, our nursing relationship really improved & my frustration about it diminished.

[D_McG]

At a month old both of mine nursed constantly. Perfectly normal!

[Starry-eyedMom]

Originally Posted by D_McG 

At a month old both of mine nursed constantly. Perfectly normal!

    But with my first I didn't know it was normal, was completely exhausted with being up for an hour every hour and a half at night. My doc talked me into formula before bedtime. :(

Wow, I know better now!  Just let your babe finish the 4th trimester as close to you as possible, with all the nursing/comforting that babies need. It won't last long, I promise!

[motherhendoula]

'special place in hell for people who jeopardize a mother's milk supply'.

Boy, Id like to embroider that on a pillow....

[Mamaleo]

I have to agree with the Mamas above that it seems totally normal and your ped might not have a lot of experience with exclusive BF.

What I wanted to add though is something that I try to think about whenever I'm feeling overwhelmed with my daughter's needs. I try to put it in perspective. It's easy to get overwhelmed in the day to day hour to hour, but when you think about what a short time their infancy and early childhood is over a life time it's such a fleeting moment. This always brings me back to what I really want which is to provide her with the most love I can so she can feel secure and loved. When I think of how fast the last 5 years or 10 years have flown by and think of how it will feel when she is grown I get a renewed energy to give her all I've got and more, because this moment is all we really have.

[LadyCatherine185]

hugs mama! sorry you are feeling overwhelmed.. but like PP's have said, it is completely normal ;)

just wanted to add, that even if he nurses every hour for the first year or more (like my DS1 did!!) they become more efficient and even if they are nursing every hour, after a couple months they can empty both breasts in 5 minutes or less.

[Asiago]

I agree, it's absolutely normal and baby knows when to feed.

Most pediatricians really shouldn't advise on breastfeeding.  They should be well educated on the subject but sadly are not.

[motherhendoula]

I heard somewhere ...and if someone knows for certain lase chime in.....that pediatricians only study breastfeeding for about 8 hours out of the many years they are in college.  I am a certified Lactation Educator and i had to start with 36 hours of instruction....and all i can do is give pre natal breastfeeding classes.

[kalamos23]

http://parunak.com/pursuingtitus2/2008/06/05/breastmilk-ice-cream-and-infant-feeding-schedules-how-much-space-is-on-your-counter-top/

I love this link - it helped explain it well :) nakking sorry for the shortness