Would you say it's reasonable to leave bedtime and bedtime routines/ practicalities/ logistics totally up to a 7-8yo child?
I have an unschooled girl, 7 3/4yo who has set her own bedtime (10pm), and on her own initiative asked for an alarm to go off at 9pm as a reminder that she should start with the bedtime preparation (teeth brushing, taking supplements, wearing pyjamas, brushing hair, drink water, use bathroom, etc). The aim is that she gets all of this done, asking for help where needed, and gets into bed for a story around 9:45, we read to her, have a snuggle and then lights out at 10.
She gets really upset if she's not ready for lights out at 10 on the dot, and she generally needs a lot of help staying focussed on meeting that goal, and getting all the things done that she needs to do beforehand.
Her dad and I are unsure how much input she should get at this age - should the initiative be totally up to her, and we wait for her to ask for help if she needs it, or should we be more present and directive with her?