My eldest DS is 8 (nearly 9) and has, for a long time, seemed to need more friends who are also gifted, who would understand and appreciate him more. The other night, we were with a group of friends, including long-time friends where the kids have known each other their whole lives. DS would call one of these kids his best friend, I think, outside of his brothers. But, the girl has made it a habit to not play with him. He was in tears, curled up on the couch at someone else's house, because he was feeling so ignored and lonely. 
Truth be told, he *was* playing with them - but they never wanted to do what he wanted to do. In particular, he had some sketches he had done of an invention, and he wanted to show the other kids, specifically the girl who's always been his friend. But, they weren't interested.
I spent a long time talking with him about social behavior and how, in a group, his friends aren't as likely to want to listen to anything that takes a while to explain. They want to play games and do group things, instead. But, in a smaller, more intimate setting, they could listen better. We also went over how, even as adults, we have to adapt our discussion topics for the audience we're with.
It's just so sad, though, to have him in tears, lamenting that no one thinks like he does, or understands how he thinks, or values what he thinks about.
I am hoping to help him navigate the difficult waters of social interaction at this early age, to perhaps save some heartache later. I'm also realizing I really need to make an effort to seek out time with the gifted, creative, sweet, fun friends that we DO know. He and I talked about some of the friends that do like to think about the things he does, so at least he knows that some people like him and appreciate him for who he is. I can't help but feel the heartbreak over this one friend isn't over, though. They are getting more and more different the older they get, for some simple reasons like boy/girl, public school/homeschool, etc., but underlying personality is also coming in to play.
Indeed, I think DS is realizing more and more how *different* he is, and that can be so hard to deal with.
Truth be told, he *was* playing with them - but they never wanted to do what he wanted to do. In particular, he had some sketches he had done of an invention, and he wanted to show the other kids, specifically the girl who's always been his friend. But, they weren't interested.
I spent a long time talking with him about social behavior and how, in a group, his friends aren't as likely to want to listen to anything that takes a while to explain. They want to play games and do group things, instead. But, in a smaller, more intimate setting, they could listen better. We also went over how, even as adults, we have to adapt our discussion topics for the audience we're with.
It's just so sad, though, to have him in tears, lamenting that no one thinks like he does, or understands how he thinks, or values what he thinks about.
I am hoping to help him navigate the difficult waters of social interaction at this early age, to perhaps save some heartache later. I'm also realizing I really need to make an effort to seek out time with the gifted, creative, sweet, fun friends that we DO know. He and I talked about some of the friends that do like to think about the things he does, so at least he knows that some people like him and appreciate him for who he is. I can't help but feel the heartbreak over this one friend isn't over, though. They are getting more and more different the older they get, for some simple reasons like boy/girl, public school/homeschool, etc., but underlying personality is also coming in to play.
Indeed, I think DS is realizing more and more how *different* he is, and that can be so hard to deal with.
I'm so tickled that we now have a perfect gift for him!
(He picked up the book sometime after noon and finished it that night. He did not want to put it down to open Valentines or anything! 
