I'm quite honestly fed up. I'm so sick of the days where I'm so anxious I want to lay in bed and cry.
Most of my days lately have been good. I get one or two days every 10 or so that my anxiety is through the roof. Then right before my period it escalates and I end up with a week straight of pure hell.
I've spent so much money, money that we don't have, on supplements claiming to cure anxiety, and I have yet to find one that actually works. I bought The Linden Method, and yes, at the time it'll reduce my panic attack, but I can't carry my MP3 player everywhere so I can listen to it in when I'm on the verge of an attack.
Yesterday afternoon an attack hit me out of left field. Hubby, kids and I had a great day. Went to watch my son skate at school, had a great afternoon, and then all of the sudden I felt like I couldn't breathe, chest was tight, I was super dizzy, nauseated, and I just burst into tears. My poor hubby had no idea what to do with me. I ended up laying in a warm bath for 2 1/2 hours and bauled my eyes out. The attack ended at about 3 hours, but I was left with the icky residual anxiety and today I just feel like I'm on the verge of an attack.
This morning i was going to go to the walk in clinic to get medication. But i didn't and now the clinic is closed. I just hate medication. I don't want to cover up any problem with a bandaid (medication) but at the same time, living like this sucks. Before I had a panic disorder I could just up and go anywhere I wanted. Go on a little trip without the kids with my DH, lay down and watch a few hours of tv without battling a feeling of panic, lesireuly browse through stores. I hate being like this.
My good days I feel really good. Sometimes I get a few little bouts of mild anxiety but it's not even enough to slow me down. But I still can't travel far without a panic attack. We used to go out of town at least once every couple of months, now we haven't gone for about 6 months. I don't like being seperated from my kids and now with them both being in school, one full time and one part time, it sucks.
With perscription meds, we get 80% of it back through medical. With supplemental meds and vitamins we get zilch back. I literally have thousands of dollars of supplements on the top of my fridge.
I just don't know what to do. :(
ETA for anyone new reading this thread. I'm now on perscription medication (cipralex) and doing wonderful. I've updated this thread after starting medications, so if anyone is curious, browse through the thread.
Edited by babygrant - 3/27/11 at 8:33am