First date since seperation..... Eek!

[Learning_Mum]

Hello ladies, I have my first date since H and I seperated 18 months ago. OMG, I'm so nervous! I met him online and he seems really nice but from past experiences I know that it can often be disappointing when you meet in person.

He's already scored points for letting me know that he was running late. Can't stand when people just turn up late! And he's made me laugh as well.

I don't even know why I'm posting here! Hugs? Support? Some good vibes? Never had much luck with dating in the past!

Eek! I'm nervous!

[hillymum]

have fun!!!!! Then come back and let us know how it went.

[Learning_Mum]

Well it was good. He was a nice guy. There was some kissing and handholding.

To be honest, all I kept thinking was that he wasn't ex. I think maybe that means I'm not really ready to date again. I'd probably hang out with him as friends but I think that's it.

[sparklefairy]

If you feel that you're not ready, I'm definitely not trying to change your mind. But I have an alternate theory about those other thoughts:

I did this in my relationship after my marriage had ended... and it had been a good couple years since I'd "been with" my ex-husband. It was unavoidable. It didn't mean that I wanted to be with my ex or that I was being unfair to the new guy --  it's just that I had been with the ex for so long that "man's body" and "relationship dynamics" were defined for me based on being with him and that took a little time to get re-calibrated. Which did happen, and it was a very good thing :-)

Originally Posted by Learning_Mum 

Well it was good. He was a nice guy. There was some kissing and handholding.

To be honest, all I kept thinking was that he wasn't ex. I think maybe that means I'm not really ready to date again. I'd probably hang out with him as friends but I think that's it.

[Learning_Mum]

Originally Posted by sparklefairy 

If you feel that you're not ready, I'm definitely not trying to change your mind. But I have an alternate theory about those other thoughts:

I did this in my relationship after my marriage had ended... and it had been a good couple years since I'd "been with" my ex-husband. It was unavoidable. It didn't mean that I wanted to be with my ex or that I was being unfair to the new guy --  it's just that I had been with the ex for so long that "man's body" and "relationship dynamics" were defined for me based on being with him and that took a little time to get re-calibrated. Which did happen, and it was a very good thing :-)

Originally Posted by Learning_Mum 

Well it was good. He was a nice guy. There was some kissing and handholding.

To be honest, all I kept thinking was that he wasn't ex. I think maybe that means I'm not really ready to date again. I'd probably hang out with him as friends but I think that's it.

 

I totally get what you're saying but it was more that I was wishing it *was* ex rather than just thinking it felt different.