6 1/2 week old doesn't like tradition EC cradle position - ideas?

[BrianneC]

My daughter is 6 1/2 weeks old. We've been doing EC full-time (except nights) for about a week now. She seems to really hate going in her diaper already and is only fussy when she needs to go. The only problem is with me (mom) to hold her with her back against my stomach she doesn't like it, arching her back and such. But with my husband she is fine, I am usually in front of her talking to her though. We also bought a Baby Bjorn Potty Chair since we'll need it eventually. I thought I could hold her over it facing me and she screamed. She definitely didn't like that. I am stuck with letting her lay uncovered on a cloth diaper cueing her until I can think of another idea.

Anyone have any suggestions? I would really appreciate the help.

FYI: We can't really use the toilet since we live in the mountains and the bathroom isn't heated. It's way to cold for her as we only have concrete floors and are partially in the mountain. So I can use a bowl, the Baby Bjorn Potty Chair or just the Potty Chair insert?

[nstewart]

I didn't start with DS until he was 2.5 mos, and he had pretty good head control by then, so take my ideas FWIW...

You could let her lay back against your arms (think having her bottom in your hands and her back on your forearms) over a bowl, diaper or potty.  Similarly, you could try laying her in your lap (bottom by your knees, bowl, potty or diaper under you).  With each you can tilt her at as much of an angle as she's comfortable with.  I also seem to recall seeing some photos of different positions in one of the common EC books or maybe on diaperfreebaby.org, but can't remember where at the moment...

[BrianneC]

Thanks for the tips. I've held her in my arms with just a diaper under her when breastfeeding, but can't seem to fit a bowl or something similar under her comfortably for both of us. I've just been letting her lie on diapers and cue her. It's been only a week, but she seems to prefer not going in her diaper. And now even when her dad holds her and I'm in front she's not happy with being held over a potty bowl - yet she's so happy after she goes. I can't tell for sure if she hates the position or is frustrated with the act of going. I know when she arches her back she just doesn't want to go, but the sounds are the same in both scenarios. Has that ever happened with you?

I've read the Diaper Free book and it helped clarify a bunch of ideas and then checked out TribalBaby.org. That was extremely helpful too. I'm going to hold off on holding her to EC until this weekend and try again. She might be in the middle of a growth spurt and uncomfortable since she is feeding constantly and gets woken up easily lately. I really appreciate your help and tips. *fingers crossed*

[nstewart]

Sounds like you're doing great, anyway.  DS does the arch the back and scream thing if he doesn't want to go, so I just back off then.  I do think there's been a few times he's been upset about actually going, but just for BMs when he's got an upset tummy and a few times lately as he's starting solids and his poops are changing.  I think you're right to back off and try again this weekend.  I also could never get comfy with a bowl or pot and abandoned that quickly.

Another thought, you can also use the sink to potty her.  Not sure if this will help or not, but we often potty DS in the sink (he especially loves looking at himself in the bathroom mirror and now wants to play with the facet or water if we run water while he goes).  He's gone through hating the toilet phases (wants to be EC'd just not on the toilet, not sure why) and have still had success with the sink.  

Just keep trying, you'll come up with something that works!  Also, what works will likely change over time  Even if it is just laying her on or over a prefold for the time being, that's still EC!!

[kdhfly]

Pretty much the only position that DD2 will go in (we started at about 3.5 months and she's now 11 months), is me sitting on the floor with a potty between my legs and me holding DD2 with her head/back leaned on me (but she's really very close to sitting in an upright position, not too leaned back).  When she was small, she could not stand touching the plastic AT ALL. So I was either holding her suspended over the potty or resting her on my legs over the potty.  Now she doesn't mind if her butt hits a little bit, but she still prefers as little touching of plastic as possible.  I think what made this position successful (over other positions with me holding something between my legs) is that I was completely supported and relaxed because I was on the floor; DD2 didn't feel like she was being "balanced" in any way.  She liked to put her hands out and touch my knees, especially while pooping. They acted as little arm rests, and of course my arms and torso were all around her, so I think she felt very secure. It is kind of a pain to get up and down off the floor all the time, but I think of it as a good opportunity to practice my squats:)

[Carlyle]

Originally Posted by BrianneC 

I am stuck with letting her lay uncovered on a cloth diaper cueing her until I can think of another idea.

You know, I did that with my dd2 for a long time at the beginning for the same reason (we started the day she was born).  She's fine being held over a bowl or sink or our toilet now (she's now 4 months old).  I can't remember when it switched though!  I think it's fine to just do what you're doing and just offer over a bowl occasionally to see if she's feeling more confident being that "unsupported." (I know it's not unsupported, but I think that my dd2 just didn't like being anything but completely held all around her body at first, you know what I mean?)

[Carlyle]

Originally Posted by BrianneC I can't tell for sure if she hates the position or is frustrated with the act of going. I know when she arches her back she just doesn't want to go, but the sounds are the same in both scenarios. Has that ever happened with you?

I think there's definitely an element of "this feels yucky" fussing for little teeny babies.  All the sensations are just so new to them, you know?  Not painful, but as a new baby, it may feel weird/new/intense/something when they need to go which might be part of the reason that they fuss.  I think this because my dd2 would fuss occasionally even when just peeing/pooping on her diaper (with the diaper open as you described).  She would usually stop fussing as soon as she started peeing/pooping...like the "I need to go" feeling was yucky, but as soon as she started to go it felt okay.  Does your dd do that?  I think they're just getting used to the feeling of going.

[BrianneC]

Thanks everyone for such fast and thoughtful tips and personal experiences. With EC not being mainstream in this country it can be hard to find real life experiences from others. :)
 

Originally Posted by nstewart 

Another thought, you can also use the sink to potty her.  

I've thought of that. Unfortunately, the sink area is just as cold as the toilet area. To even allow some warmth for her to take a bath we need to hang a blanket from a doorway, stuff towels under the other door, run strictly hot water and a personal space heater. It really is ridiculous, but it works and of course she's worth it. :)

Originally Posted by kdhfly 

When she was small, she could not stand touching the plastic AT ALL.

She liked to put her hands out and touch my knees, especially while pooping. They acted as little arm rests, and of course my arms and torso were all around her, so I think she felt very secure. 

I know what you mean about the plastic. We tried it once and she screamed. Then we placed a cloth diaper inside to keep it warm, but she didn't like that either. 

When you have the bowl between your legs on the ground, how is she touching your knees. Are they bent? This sounds like an idea, but I can't really picture it. This might work since she's really been showing a preference to me (over dad) in the past week or two. Extra cuddly and dad can't comfort her these days - poor guy feels bad about it. So this could help her feel more secure like you said.

Originally Posted by Carlyle 

(I know it's not unsupported, but I think that my dd2 just didn't like being anything but completely held all around her body at first, you know what I mean?)

I know what you mean. She definitely likes being held, which is great since I wear her in my moby wrap or sling around the house. 

Originally Posted by Carlyle 

I think there's definitely an element of "this feels yucky" fussing for little teeny babies.  All the sensations are just so new to them, you know?  Not painful, but as a new baby, it may feel weird/new/intense/something when they need to go which might be part of the reason that they fuss.  I think this because my dd2 would fuss occasionally even when just peeing/pooping on her diaper (with the diaper open as you described).  She would usually stop fussing as soon as she started peeing/pooping...like the "I need to go" feeling was yucky, but as soon as she started to go it felt okay.  Does your dd do that?  I think they're just getting used to the feeling of going.

I thought that, but she doesn't make much noise when laying on a diaper on our bed. It only seems to matter when we hold her, it was fine last week and now not so good. And it's funny because she seems more annoyed when she is peeing versus pooping. That was surprising. 

The part where your daughter stopped fussing when she started going is the same here if she's being held over a bowl or something.

[kdhfly]

I hold her with my arms bent and my hands under her thighs, so her legs and my forearms are touching. I bend my legs while I am sitting on the ground, and my hands (and her body) are in between my thighs.  I'll admit that especially early on some pee would get on me/my pants. Eventually I got the aim correct. It works best if I can lean back against something a little bit (like the couch or our bed) because then I can make sure that I am completely relaxed.  I developed this hold because she didn't like the plastic (or anything other than me) and she was big, so my arms got tired.  Then, because my arms were tired, I would be tense or want her to hurry, which doesn't help either.  With this hold, most of the weight is on my legs, so the rest of me can relax a bit. I always knew when she needed to poop because then she'd put her arms on my thighs, and I would squeeze my legs together ever so slightly, which put just a slight pressure on her hips and that seemed to help her relax and go (maybe it is like a hip squeeze during contractions while giving birth?).  I hope that description helps a little more. I sat on the floor with her just now to try to figure out how to describe it:)  Keep experimenting; you'll find something that works for you.

[BrianneC]

Thanks kdhfly. I think I understand and will try that this weekend when she gets diaper free/naked time. Also my hubby will be able to help me position her so I can think less about being peed/pooped on.

[heatherr30]

I had the same problem in the beginning with my now 4 wk old.  While DS had clothes on, I tried out some different positions looking at the pictures in my EC book to find out what was comfortable for us.  I settled on the "classic" position squatting on the floor holding DS over a big wash basin, as he felt least "floppy" when I held him that way.  That worked for us for a couple of weeks till DS got the hang of it and now he is comfortable in more positions. 

I also like sitting on the toilet rim facing the tank, holding DS in front of me and at the moment that is my favourite.  He doesn't need to touch the seat and I can take him into the bathroom with leg warmers on so coldness isn't an issue.  If it is still too cold for your DD even with leg warmers on I wouldn't lose heart, warmer weather will come soon!  You might "simulate" a toilet by putting 2 chairs together, put a basin on 1 chair and sit behind it on the other chair holding DD.

Oh yeah and worry about getting peed/pood on was a big issue for me at first, too.  For this reason you might want to try the positions first at a time when you think DD DOESN'T want to go, or simply with clothes on.  Finally you have to just take the plunge and do it, you might feel better if you are not wearing your best clothes! haha I showed up for a play group with DD the other day and looked down and realized I had baby poop on my white shirt.....