7 yr old tired but not sleeping-what to do?!!

[Dandelionkid]

My oldest doesn't settle down at night!!! She often wakes up tired and yawns through the day saying "I am tired" like today and she is still in bed awake right now!!! It is crazy. If I take away all the distractions in her room she will still stay up just as late but complain periodically about being bored. So then I let her read books in bed but of course she still doesn't settle. She goes to bed by 8pm, wakes up by 8am but doesn't get to sleep until 1030 or like tonight,1100. Tomorrow night I am going to turn out the lamp earlier and take away her stuff. I hope it helps.

Anybody else deal with this?

(I homeschool so she doesn't have to deal with being tired at school and she awakens naturally- we don't wake her up, although her two younger siblings often do with all their noise)

[hakeber]

I did.  I decided to do something radical and put him to bed earlier.  I started making dinner as soon as we got home from school, dinner at 5, bath at 5:30, hot cocoa and a cookie at 6. Brush teeth and in bed by 6:15 for one story and song.  He didn't even realize it was 2 hours earlier.  He fell asleep almost immediately and felt MUCH more well rested (he has to wake up at 6:30 for school, poor thing.)  He also catches up on his sleep during the weekend with longer sleep ins (till 7 or 8 on weekends) and occassional naps if we get a rainy day.

It means more work for me as soon as I walk in the door, but he is a MUCH happier kid.

I thought by letting him stay up later he'd be tired sooner and fall asleep faster but he was getting over tired and unable to fall asleep until the second cycle...things are much calmer now.

[One_Girl]

My dd did this when she first got her light up fairy, she would play with it for hours instead of sleeping then she would be grumpy.  Making the toy a weekend only toy almost completely took the problem away.  We did talk a lot about the problem and I gave her a chance to find her own solution first, but her toys were so enticing and with the light up fairy she couldn't resist playing with them when she was suppossed to be asleep.  It did take her a couple weeks to readjust herself back to her normal sleep routine because she had about a month of playing then being grumpy, but she did adjust and is almost always out within 15 minutes of the light being turned off.

[chattyprincess]

we do exactly (well almost) whate hakeber does. After dinner I shut off as much electric lights as possible, we use low voices and just kind of hang around "winding" down as much as possible. Bath/bedtime are also not running around wild times but rather oppurtonities to help her settle down. Some people at different times in life need a longer period of settling down and to just be forced to go to bed earlier!

Good luck!

[meemee]

is she a high energy child?

does she get enough physical exercise during the day?

if distraction is the key reason she cant sleep then your ploy will work.

but if she is not tired enough - either physically or intellectually, then it wont work.

dd is a sleep fighter too. AND a high energy child. she needs enough social, physical and intellectual interaction/challenge or she CANT fall asleep.

we do the same at habaker on nights where it works.

so dd and i go to bed by 6:30. dd continues to read or play and i do my homework. then maybe she will finally fall asleep by 9/9:30 pm since she has to be up by 6:30 am to go to school.

if i tried doing that every single night, it would never work.

however if she is not tired, no matter what i do she will stay awake. even at 2. she'd make songs and play with her fingers and toes in the dark but seh coudl not fall asleep.

[Dandelionkid]

Originally Posted by meemee 

is she a high energy child?

does she get enough physical exercise during the day?

if distraction is the key reason she cant sleep then your ploy will work.

but if she is not tired enough - either physically or intellectually, then it wont work.

dd is a sleep fighter too. AND a high energy child. she needs enough social, physical and intellectual interaction/challenge or she CANT fall asleep.

we do the same at habaker on nights where it works.

so dd and i go to bed by 6:30. dd continues to read or play and i do my homework. then maybe she will finally fall asleep by 9/9:30 pm since she has to be up by 6:30 am to go to school.

if i tried doing that every single night, it would never work.

however if she is not tired, no matter what i do she will stay awake. even at 2. she'd make songs and play with her fingers and toes in the dark but seh coudl not fall asleep.

Very good point. She has not had any outdoor time lately. I bet that would help a lot. Also the last couple nights I have turned the lamp out and it has made a difference by about an hour. I can't believe I didn't think of it before!

[rhianna813]

She's 7 but I wanted to toss in the idea of the 6 year molars. When DS was getting these in at age 6 he slept poorly for months! Has she got her's in yet?

Rhi~

[Dandelionkid]

Originally Posted by rhianna813 

She's 7 but I wanted to toss in the idea of the 6 year molars. When DS was getting these in at age 6 he slept poorly for months! Has she got her's in yet?

Rhi~

I never thought of that- I'll check it out- thanks. Did your DS complain of pain?

[meemee]

one more thing that struck me... could she be going thru some growth spurts? either emotional or physical. tantrums and also a loss of sleep and sleep fighting i find is an effect of the big change coming up. once the change happens dd settles back into usual routine. i know my friend's kid does the opposite. sleep too much while going thru a spurt. 

[Dandelionkid]

Originally Posted by meemee 

one more thing that struck me... could she be going thru some growth spurts? either emotional or physical. tantrums and also a loss of sleep and sleep fighting i find is an effect of the big change coming up. once the change happens dd settles back into usual routine. i know my friend's kid does the opposite. sleep too much while going thru a spurt. 

It could well be. As a baby her growth spurts were very dramatic in that her behavior changed overnight every few months. Maybe she still has dramatic growth spurts but spread out over time.

[meemee]

dd is 8 and her growth spurts are STILL v. dramatic. her physical happens in summer when her appetite increases dramatically - she grows fat and then suddenly about the week before school she has shot up and lost the curves. her father finally learnt to buy one or two sizes big uniform for school - because even if they look HUGE on her then by first day of school they will be the right size and short by next summer.

winter she gets her emotional growth spurt. kinda around christmas or jan. she is a total pill to be around. and then suddenly - wham she is this mature child. today those bad patches dont frustrate me as they used to. in fact they make me sad. coz i know there she is going to do it again when i am not ready for it. grow up. 

she is going through one these days (kinda unusual so late) but i have been terrible. terrible. i have laughed out to her face. which has been her greatest insult. what is funny is the effect all this has on my friends. they cant believe that a child can act that way (yeah that's what a high needs child is all about) and have spoken to her in front of me. so i havent had to say anything to dd. i dont because she just does not have the control for her emotional outbursts right now. 

last night we snuggled in bed - rather i stopped everything we were in the middle of. i found i was guiding her to control her outbursts and that was the last straw for her. the one place, teh only place she has the freedom to vent was taken away. so we snuggled in bed while she cried her heart out. i just held her (hoping all teh crying would make her sleep) but no. it didnt. instead it did make her feel much, much, much better. she was back to her usual self. 

[Dandelionkid]

Originally Posted by meemee 

dd is 8 and her growth spurts are STILL v. dramatic. her physical happens in summer when her appetite increases dramatically - she grows fat and then suddenly about the week before school she has shot up and lost the curves. her father finally learnt to buy one or two sizes big uniform for school - because even if they look HUGE on her then by first day of school they will be the right size and short by next summer.

winter she gets her emotional growth spurt. kinda around christmas or jan. she is a total pill to be around. and then suddenly - wham she is this mature child. today those bad patches dont frustrate me as they used to. in fact they make me sad. coz i know there she is going to do it again when i am not ready for it. grow up. 

she is going through one these days (kinda unusual so late) but i have been terrible. terrible. i have laughed out to her face. which has been her greatest insult. what is funny is the effect all this has on my friends. they cant believe that a child can act that way (yeah that's what a high needs child is all about) and have spoken to her in front of me. so i havent had to say anything to dd. i dont because she just does not have the control for her emotional outbursts right now. 

last night we snuggled in bed - rather i stopped everything we were in the middle of. i found i was guiding her to control her outbursts and that was the last straw for her. the one place, teh only place she has the freedom to vent was taken away. so we snuggled in bed while she cried her heart out. i just held her (hoping all teh crying would make her sleep) but no. it didnt. instead it did make her feel much, much, much better. she was back to her usual self. 

Thanks for reminding me how little my dd still is. As the oldest she gets treated older all the time and she is constantly seeking cuddles and physical attention. I need to try to honor those desires as much as possible with two other kids. I liked your snuggle in bed story