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Is this your last baby?

post #1 of 47
Thread Starter 

I used to think I wanted a bunch of kids. (Famous last words, eh?) Well, at least 3 and maybe 4.  I guess part of me still does; the kids part sounds fun, but honestly I think another pregnancy is out of the question.  Most days, all I can think is "this is the last time I am ever doing this".  It makes me sad 1. because watching my son get bigger breaks my heart and my comforting thought is that I get to do this all over again with this babe 2. because I feel like I'm not enjoying this pregnancy enough and I'll regret it if it's my last one.  But if I think about being pregnant again I want to cry and run screaming for the hills.  My desire to never be pregnant again is a bigger feeling than my sadness over not having any more kids, does that make sense?

 

I'm just so surprised at myself.  I really liked being pregnant before.  I'm kind of a birth junkie.  I love being a mom.  I think it's just so much harder being pregnant and also taking care of a toddler.  Also, I just turned 31, and all I can think is that if I ever get pregnant again I'd be 33 or 34, and if it's this hard now, it will be even harder when I'm older and have 2 kids to take care of!!

 

I'm feeling better (finally), and I really want to try to embrace this pregnancy.  I don't want to focus on how fat or tired I feel, but it's hard because I really just feel fat and tired, lol! 

 

On the other hand, maybe it's good to know deep down that I don't want to ever do this again.  That way I'll be sure in my decision that our family is complete.

 

Anyone else sure this is the last?  Or are you conflicted?

post #2 of 47

 

I am SURE this is the last! It is #4 for us, and all we can handle(physically and car-wise). This pregnancy I am not really enjoying it either. The other three I was excited and enjoying it, but I am just miserable this time and can't wait for August! I think have more kids to take care of does make it harder. DH is getting a vasectomy after this one is born. I have to admit, it feels really good to know that this is the last. I feel like after this we will be entering a new phase in our life, a phase with no more babies. It feels good!

post #3 of 47

This will be our last. I always thought that we would have three, but DP would have happily stayed with one. Also, copper.kettle this: "My desire to never be pregnant again is a bigger feeling than my sadness over not having any more kids, does that make sense?" is exactly how I feel. So it makes a ton of sense to me. I am actually looking forward to enjoying this baby and moving on to the next step in parenting.

post #4 of 47

I'm conflicted!

 

I used to want a bunch of kids too.  I picture the distant future with grown children, and I still see myself wanting a brood.  Like 4 kids, and hosting holiday dinners at our house and they all bring their husbands and wives and kids.  I want to be that matriarch.

 

But man.  Pg is so tough on me.  I thought the first time I was just blind sighted and not prepared, and that going into this one I was going to be better at it and enjoy it more.  But I'm starting to think I'm just one of those people that pg doesn't agree with!  And I find myself thinking often, "Thank gawd I'll never have to do this again," and then I catch myself thinking that and feel sad.

 

I think we're leaving it up in the air after this one.  Nothing permanent in terms of the big V or anything, but will probably wait awhile before attempting another!

 

That said, after DD was born, we were sure we were going to wait 5+ years before having another and that certainly didn't happen!

post #5 of 47

I cannot imagine that we'll have another after this!

post #6 of 47
We might be done, but we might want one more. I kind of envision our family complete with 3 children. However, I am 34 (copper kettle: it's not harder than 2 years ago--although taking care of a toddler while being pg is harder). I figure that we will have to see how we feel after this one is born.
post #7 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post

I used to want a bunch of kids too.  I picture the distant future with grown children, and I still see myself wanting a brood.  Like 4 kids, and hosting holiday dinners at our house and they all bring their husbands and wives and kids.  I want to be that matriarch.


That is me too! Whenever I start to get overwhelmed or upset with the kids I just think about the future. This stage is only temporary. People wonder how I handle it with my kids so close together, but I just know that in the future it will work out great. When I have hard times now, I know this stage is temporary, but the children are forever! love.gif

post #8 of 47

Probably not since I am only 24 and this is our first, but being pregnant now has really given pause to my assumptions that I want a large family. I still think I do, but pregnancy is so much more uncomfortable than I thought it would be that I don't know how many times I will want to do it. Both DH and I feel like a large family would be nice in theory, but we are both waiting to see what having a child will actually be like before we will know for sure.

post #9 of 47

This might be our last. I wanted another one, but we're both trying to finish college right now and this is our third. As a couple we are outrageously fertile. I got my period back after 2 months with both my kids, and that was while exclusively breastfeeding on demand, taking naps together, wearing them in a sling, etc. We had a consultation with a doctor that performs vasectomies, but I'm still unsure. My husband wants to go ahead with it and I feel like maybe we could get it reversed down the line, but it's never guaranteed. I still have more baby names I want to use ;)

post #10 of 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tamera View Post

This might be our last. I wanted another one, but we're both trying to finish college right now and this is our third. As a couple we are outrageously fertile. I got my period back after 2 months with both my kids, and that was while exclusively breastfeeding on demand, taking naps together, wearing them in a sling, etc. We had a consultation with a doctor that performs vasectomies, but I'm still unsure. My husband wants to go ahead with it and I feel like maybe we could get it reversed down the line, but it's never guaranteed. I still have more baby names I want to use ;)



My friend had 4 kids, her husband got a vasectomy, and then they got it reversed because they wanted a 5th! So, it is possible to have it reversed! We have the same thing, we are super fertile, so we don't want to risk it!

post #11 of 47

I've told DF that after three, he's getting snipped. I'm indecisive about wanting two or three, but certainly not more! So this is only the beginning!

 

Which is good, I'm mostly really enjoying it. :)

post #12 of 47
Well I was sure my last one was the last one smile.gif So yes, this will DEFINITELY be the last one (third). My hubby will get snipped ASAP.
post #13 of 47

This is our last. It took a long time to convince DH for a third. It was just something in my gut that said, one more. Now that I am pregnant, there is not a doubt in my soul that this is the LAST ONE. no more.

post #14 of 47

I have 2, am currently pregnant with my 3rd. I want 4 but DH sounds really done to me! Unless he changes his mind in the next few years, we are done.

post #15 of 47

I have no idea.  This baby was a surprise, but we were hoping to have another one or two in the future.  We're only 31 and 33, so we have a few years.  I think Marc would be happy stopping at 3, but I would really like for this baby to have a sibling close in age like Nik and Nate are. 

post #16 of 47

 Yes, pretty sure this is our last.  I have always wanted three, and it 'feels' done now. . .  if that makes sense. 

post #17 of 47

Yes! For years we thought for sure we'd have an only child and were fine with that, but decided to go ahead with #2. I can't see us adding a third too. I don't know if we'll get anything permanent done right away though, because we almost did that 3 years ago and I'm SO glad I had second thoughts and canceled DH's appointment.

post #18 of 47
This is only our first, and we are young, but we had seriously discussed only having one. Now that I see how pregnancy effects my depression and OCD, I really think I just want one. I loved the paraguard I had before we decided to have a baby. We plan on getting another paraguard and then getting a vasectomy if we still don't want more after it expires.
post #19 of 47

we are undecided. we said we wanted 3 or 4, i really want 4. 3 boys then a girl. i have 2 boys so far, and we are team green with this one. i dont want to make a decision based on the gender, but i dont want more than one girl. so if this one is a girl, we may be done, but if its a boy, i cant say for certain that we will try for a 4th.

 

im not done being pregnant though. i want to do surrogacy when we are done having our children. DH will get the big V when we are done.

post #20 of 47

Copper.kettle, you really hit the nail on the head about my feelings.  I HATE being pregnant.  And I honestly don't know if I can go through the pregnancy thing ever again.  I wanted 4 kids, but I am miserable now, and it being my second, I know that it just gets worse and worse.

 

We've been discussing vasectomy for DH for shortly after the birth.  But yeah, I HATE this.  I will be so glad when August rolls around and I can get to the awesome baby part!

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