I BFed my DD for 14 months. We only weaned because I found out I was PG with twins and I wasn't gaining any weight. I was fine with BFing her. It was really easy, though I did have to give up dairy and soy for a year, but I never enjoyed it. I never found it to be a great bonding experience or anything like that.
The thought of having to BF my twins in just 4 or 5 weeks is making me a little anxious. I really just don't have any desire to do it. I feel like it is going to be so hard and that it will keep me from being able to do things with DD. I don't understand how nursing on the go will work with twins. With DD I would just toss her in a carrier and nurse whenever we were out. This doesn't seem like it will be remotely possible with twins.
We have hired a mother's helper because I am on bed rest and she is going to continue working with us for as long as we need her. I just feel like she is going to replace me with DD because I am going to be doing nothing but nursing for months and months.
On top of that the twins are going to be early. My BP is going up, the protein in my urine is increasing, and Baby B is having some growth problems due to unequal placenta sharing. We are hoping to make it to 36 weeks and then they will definitely be here before 37 weeks. I know that an early arrival can make BFing hard and I just really don't know if I have it in me.
Sorry for the ramble. I really don't know what I am looking for here. I want to want to BF the twins, but I just don't know.