I dont know where to start!

[leighi123]

I posted before asking about single parent adoption, and now that I figured out that this might work, I've started doing some research.   

There is just SO much information out there, its really hard for me to filter out exactly what I need to do and where to start.   What is the actual first step I need to take?   I've seen that I should find an agency (contacted a couple local ones for more info), complete a homestudy (at what point do I do this?), get paperwork together (much of it I think I have already on file), do some fundraising (I have a little saved), and what else?  

The other thing is, while trying to do research I started looking at profiles of some kids, and totally fell in love with a little girl in eastern europe.  She is special needs and there is a $2,500 grant twards adopting her and it says something about skipping some of the processing time to get her a home faster.  The site breaks down all the fees and some of the things needed (its a very long list!), and it comes out to $23,000 (not sure if that is before or after the grant), which sounds like a lot to me (I have just under 1/3 of that saved up, its my only savings though, all the $ I have to my name), but there are also places that I could save a few $ (like I already have a passport, and I can use my skymiles to save on flight costs etc).  But I know Im just getting ahead of myself! 

I just keep going back to look at her photo even though I know its crazy to even be looking at children already when I haven't done a thing other than just barely start researching.    

Is there anywhere that tells me step-by-step what exactly I need to do?  

[sak9645]

First things first.  Do you want to adopt domestically or internationally?  Do you know the pros and cons of each?

If you choose domestic, do you want to adopt through an agency newborn program, through private adoption where you identify a birthmother and get a lawyer and social worker to handle the legal issues, or through a state or private foster care program?  Again, do you know the pros and cons of each?

If you choose international, what country is of interest?  Each country has its pros and cons, and you can read about some of the issues on the State Department's adoption website.  Since you are a first-time prospective parent, you'd be best off using a licensed agency, but you might also want to see what countries allow independent adoption, using foreign facilitators.

No matter what options you explore, how old a child do you want?  Remember that you will not be able to bring home a newborn from overseas.  Do you want an infant, toddler, preschooler, or school aged child?  The time frames are shorter when adopting older children, but there are many special challenge, too. 

Are you committed to adopting a child who is as healthy as any child living in an orphanage, foster home, or poor family can be?  Are you open to minor or correctable special needs, such as limb differences, large birthmarks/scars, etc.  Are you equipped to parent a child with more signficant special needs, like one who is blind or deaf, who is unable to walk, or who has mental retardation?

Once you have made these decisions, pick a placement agency.  Do a lot of research before you select one, as it will be your partner as you proceed to make some of the most important decisions in your life.  If you are doing an international adoption, you do not have to use an agency in your state; the only country that requires it is Korea, which does not accept singles.

If your agency is in your state, it will do your homestudy, as well as your placement.  Otherwise, it will help you select a homestudy provider.  Placement agency input is very important when you choose a homestudy agency for an overseas adoption.

At this point, you may be ready to start a homestudy.  If you are adopting internationally, you will also need to start the process of getting approval from the USCIS to bring a child to the U.S.  Your homestudy or placement agency will help you with the USCIS process.

If you get an approved homestudy and, if necessary, USCIS clearance, you will begin the adoption process.  Most international adoptions will require you to prepare a dossier of documents and to have them notarized, certified, and authenticated in a particular manner.  Your placement agency will assist.  Domestic newborn agencies may have you put together a profile of information that will be shown to birthmothers. 

At this point, things will differ, depending on your choice of country or type of domestic adoption.  With international, you will get a "referral" at some point -- information about a child who will become your son or daughter if you accept the referral.  You will then complete some more paperwork and foreign requirements with regard to visitation.  Then, you will complete your adoption.  With domestic newborn adoption, you will be matched with a birthmother and wait until she gives birth, when you will meet your child and comply with wait times till total parental relinquishment is complete.  Foster care and private adoption will involve other requirements.

All in all, while adoption may seem complicated, you really need to do things step by step, and work with a reputable and licensed agency that is experienced with the type of adoption you choose to do.

Sharon