Severe Depression

[Charlize]

DH and I are currently separated. Currently I am 18 weeks pregnant and caring for our daughters ages 1, 3 and 5. I feel overwhelmed and I'm not sure if we'll be working things out or divorcing. DH wants what's best for our children in the long run and says he'll always love me, but that doesn't help when I'm sitting here pregnant alone with little ones. Then factor in he's the breadwinner, so not certain what I will do now that so much financial burden is placed on me. I've battled depression for a very long time, but always ignored it because it seemed like I was always pregnant or breastfeeding. But now that I see what it's costing myself and our daughters, I feel it might be time that I take steps to heal myself. I frequently have thoughts of hurting myself and honestly the only thing keeping me from it right now is the baby I'm carrying. I cannot bond with this baby. This pregnancy was unplanned and unwanted by both of us. I was actually taking the mini pill and nursing DD3. I honestly don't know how I got pregnant as I had to take fertility treatment with all of our other children. I'm still on Prometrium, which I don't think is helping matters.

What are my options for medication? And are there any I can take after the baby is born and still be able to nurse?

[DaisyMay]

I'm sorry, I don't know know anything about specific medications, however I do know that there ARE medications you can take for severe depression during pregnancy and post-natally.  Speak to your pregnancy caregiver (OB/midwife) and they will be able to point you in the right direction for receiving help.  I'm so sorry that you are going through this - pregnancy and looking after little ones can be hard enough on it's own, let alone with the extra stresses you are under.  There is help out there and I'm sure you will be in a better position seeking help earlier on in your pregnancy rather than waiting till the baby comes along.  Do you have any friends or family nearby who may be able to take the pressure off a little, help out with the kids or something?  It's sometimes difficult to ask for help but worth putting yourself out there.  Try to take every day at a time until you do manage to get some help for your depression - things like not bonding with the baby and financial concerns for if your marriage doesn't make it are of course huge issues that must be worrying you, however you need to look after yourself first and foremost and when you have more strength then the other issues can be addressed.

Wishing you all the best, a healthy pregnancy and some peace from your concerns. 

[lillymonster]

you can take zoloft while nursing. Not sure what you can use while pregnant. I don't know if they are okay with other medications, but I have taken zoloft while nursing both my children

[Snugglebugmom]

I have been dealing with depression for about twelve years now, and am currently on Prozac 20 mg a day. I also took Prozac with both my girls, 40 mg to be exact. My OB was rather clear in her opinion that while there are always certain risks involved in using any kind of medication in pregnancy, the risk of a severely depressed mom was much worse. I would talk to your OB or midwife and see if there is a way to get you on an anti-depressant. They are not the be-all, end-all to depression by any means, but they will get you through the worst of it and hopefully keep you from harming yourself. 

They saved my life. 

[tzs]

absolutely there are medications you can take while pregnant and nursing. 

last pregnancy i gave up zoloft knowing that i might have to go off it briefly at the end (wean by 32 weeks to avoid a very rare pulminary complication) and thinking it wasn't doing me much good. boy was that a mistake. by the end i thought i was about to lose it and was just waiting to give birth to start up again. 

this time i've stayed on it the whole time and will see how it goes as far as to whether i go off of it for those last 2 months. even with that slight risk in the 3rd trimester, my OB is not the slightest bit concerned about staying on it the whole time. 

even with medications that are not classified as safe as say zoloft, it's always a risk/benefit call and the mother's mental state is a big deal. i'd talk to your OB or a therapist about it for sure.

[Charlize]

I called my OB this morning. I requested an appointment for today and was asked why the urgency. I explained things to the receptionist. Much to my surprise, she cannot treat depression. I've never heard of an OB not being able to treat depression before. I'm thankful I'm switching providers soon, though!

I see my peri on Wednesday for my anatomy scan and plan on requesting medication at that time.

My OB's office instructed me to have someone stay with me at all times due to the severity. They've called three times since this morning asking if someone will be staying with me. I asked DH to, but he thinks it's a desperate plea for him to come home.

I'm tired of feeling this way and want to get better. I don't want to lose my family. And thanks for all of your support. It's nice to have some where to come to that I can talk and not be judged.

[tzs]

i get mine from a mental health provider with the knowledge of my OB. is there like, a walk-in crisis mental health clinic associated with a hospital near you? here it's at the major county hospital although there may be others. although now that i realize what day it actually is (ugh!) wednesday is right around the corner.

it's good to know that your OB's office really cares even if they can;t treat though.

and don't beat yourself up for not feeling bonded with this baby. i'm at 26 weeks and not only do i not feel bonded but i think i'm still a little bit in denial. like it never even sank in that i'm pregnant....even when i have this huge belly getting in the way. it doesn't matter for now...what needs to happen will happen when the baby is born. but for what it's worth, it sounds like you have come pretty far with getting connected to this little one since you say that carrying him/her keeps you from hurting yourself. that's big! and getting the help you need is huge too. keep us updated.

[lillymonster]

Originally Posted by tzs 

and don't beat yourself up for not feeling bonded with this baby. i'm at 26 weeks and not only do i not feel bonded but i think i'm still a little bit in denial. like it never even sank in that i'm pregnant....even when i have this huge belly getting in the way.

My baby is 6 weeks and I still don't feel like I have bonded with my baby. She is by my side 24/7, but I feel more like stress than anything. I have started my zoloft this week and hope that helps. This baby was planned, so this make it's very hard for me. You are not alone with your feelings! I hope you get the help you need.

[Mamato3wild ponnie]

I too was nursing and on the mini pill when i got pregnant this go round.

It took me till i was 27 weeks preggers to finally accept my baby and pregnancy. I read a book called Ten Moons by Jane Harwicke Collings and that's what took me to the acceptance level.

I swear by omega 3's......if i dont take them....i will cry all day long and i'm unbearable to live with.

Everything upsets me.

I have to take them......wonder if trying those asap will help at all.

Hugs mama......this will pass.....glad that you are reaching out for help.

[matty02]

I went on celexa when I was pregnant with DD. My husband at the time was an alcoholic and abusive. I was very depressed with him. The celexa was prescribed by my primary doctor and two weeks after I was on it I was much clearer of mind. I ended up getting the strength to get a divorce and raise my DD and DS on my own. After DD was born my doctor switched me to zoloft (ok for nursing). Call your primary doctor and see what you can take. I was 5 months pregnant when I started on celexa. Hugs to you. 

[BeautyforAshes]

I switched to Zoloft when I got pregnant, then weaned off it in the third trimester.  When my daughter was born, my OB restarted me on Lexapro for severe PPD and postpartum depression, and I BF while taking that with the okay from the perinatologist.

[EnchantedMamma]

Just a note, the mini pill loses efficacy after you reach 150 lbs (I believe). I'm not sure if that applies to you or not, but I read the package insert after a nurse told me it would not be a problem. I never took and took the full pill instead.

As for the depression I am so sorry for your situation but am very glad you recognize that you need help. It's devastating to continually read in the news about mothers who did not get the help they need. I hope you do.

Some doctors choose not to prescribe psychiatric medications, for liability reasons I presume. You might look for an actual psychiatrist.

Call around until you find help!

Is your insurance through an employer? If so, they often have employee assistance plans. See if you can get information and they might be able to get you some help with looking or something.

If your husband won't help you could try calling his employer's HR dept.

Lastly, since he doesn't take your depression seriously, please find someone close and local who does. It's too serious not to, if not for your sake then for your childrens'.

[tzs]

OP....any update? 

was the perinatologist able to help you?

[Charlize]

Sorry it has taken me longer than usual to update. The peri did prescribe Zoloft to me (25 mg). Just after the first dose I can already tell a difference. Is that odd? Odd or not, I'm glad I'm already feeling better. They found a CPC on the baby's brain during the ultrasound, which is a marker for Downs and T18. I feel the meds are helping me deal with that also. 

[Italiamom]

Originally Posted by Charlize 

Sorry it has taken me longer than usual to update. The peri did prescribe Zoloft to me (25 mg). Just after the first dose I can already tell a difference. Is that odd? Odd or not, I'm glad I'm already feeling better. They found a CPC on the baby's brain during the ultrasound, which is a marker for Downs and T18. I feel the meds are helping me deal with that also. 

Aw mama, that's hard news   I'm very sorry to hear about the US results not being great...

I am glad you were able to get in and get some meds though, and glad to hear they seem to be working well with your system.  Please take care of yourself!, and big hugs to you!

[lillymonster]

Originally Posted by Charlize 

Sorry it has taken me longer than usual to update. The peri did prescribe Zoloft to me (25 mg). Just after the first dose I can already tell a difference. Is that odd? Odd or not, I'm glad I'm already feeling better. They found a CPC on the baby's brain during the ultrasound, which is a marker for Downs and T18. I feel the meds are helping me deal with that also. 

I am sorry to hear about the ultrasound, I hope that things turn out for the best

I am glad you are getting medication and are starting to feel better. I just started my zoloft a few days ago and felt a little better within a day or two.

[penstamon]

Hugs, mama.  I do hope that things start to turn around for you and your family.  Just wanted to say that CPCs are very common, both in fetuses and adults and the correlation to any abnormality is slim.  We had a small one on our 20w scan and the OB and tech both said they were so common that there is no need to follow up.

[tzs]

that's great about the zoloft! doesn't matter how it works...just that it does!

sorry about the U/S. i was dealing with a similar thing in that i had a crappy quad screen (1:10) but then no soft markers....which, like your ultrasound, basically means nothing except unnecessary worry. for a couple weeks it's all i could think of...mainly the the fact that the unknown had reared it's ugly head. but the good news is that weeks later it's not even on my mental radar...hope it goes the same for you.