Hurt and angry! - Page 2

[mamazee]

I probably would have said something like, "Oh, sweetie, is that how we act when someone does something special for us?"  And maybe I'd give an alternate response.  "How about, 'Thank you mom.'"  I think it's worth a gentle word to teach them better manners, but especially at 5, which is still very young to get social graces, I'd be pretty light about it.  This is something I expect to teach at that age, not something I expect them to understand.

[applecider]

Thanks for all your replies. I guess why it irks me is that I feel I HAVE been working on his manners for over a year now! I feel like I made excuses for him in the past (sensory issues) but it is starting to really get to me. There are other times that he does things like this, for instance, whenever we go to visit someone or someone comes over (even close family that he loves), if they say hi to him or how are you, a lot of times he will hold up his hand and say STOP! NO! HMPH!! and just be generally pissy. I know that if someone does not talk to him first and gives him a chance to warm up, he will be fine. But it is SO RUDE! And I feel embarrassed when he does this kind of thing, especially as he gets older. I think it really hurts his grandparent's feelings. Heck, he even does that to Daddy (and me sometimes). So I guess I'm just tired of reminding him how to act, he should know by now! When will he get it?

I do like the idea of role playing although usually whenever I try to do that, he doesn't want to. So I guess I need to know how to discipline if he decides to be rude in a situation?

[mamazee]

Well even if you'd been working on manners for over 4 years, he'd still only be 5 years old.  How much time doesn't really matter depending on where he is developmentally.  How consistently do you remind him to be polite?  I like the idea of role playing too.  We do that sometimes.  I've even warned my dd.  "It's possible you won't like the gift.  How will you handle it if it isn't something you like?" 

Also, he sounds very introverted.  I might try to find a way to work with his introversion.  Maybe find less extroverted ways of being polite.  "If you don't feel comfortable talking to people, you can quietly say "excuse me", but I don't want you to put your hand up in someone's face and say anything like 'stop! no!'"  Like give him an out to be shy if he needs to be, but find a more polite way for him to deal with that.