Son is One and Wanting Guidance on Milk

[Marpepp]

My son is turning one next month. He has refused the bottle entirely and now is not great with a sippy cup either - he certainly doesn't take more than a couple ounces from one. He won't really drink ANY breastmilk from a sippy - just juice/water. This has definitely been hard on me. I work full time out of the home so it's just been a total challenge. I feel really proud of myself for making it so long considering how difficult it has been for us. So in theory I'd like to move to just morning and night nursing and cow's milk (or something) during the day, but I can't help but feel like I'm pushing my son onto an animal wet nurse and it's grossing me out.  If they need THAT much milk still, it seems like I should be the one to provide it. But really, I need SOME kind of transition to where he gets what he needs during the day without needing my breast. It's just too stressful since I can't be with him.

Does anyone have materials to help inform my decision? Google is not super helpful here. How long do they need so much milk? Are there alternatives to cow's milk that are healthy? General thoughts on this issue?

Thanks so much for your help.

[cristeen]

They need it for the first 2-ish years.

How much solids is he eating? Do you pump? Has his caregiver tried using just a regular cup w milk? Is it possible you have lipase issues?

If he's eating sufficient solids, he should be able to go the 8 hrs w/out milk, w just a water cup. If his solids intake is low though, then he still needs some type of milk (breast, cow, goat, formula, something) for those hours.

And just so you know, my bottle fed 16 mo wont take anything from either sippy or straw cup, but he'll use a regular cup of i hold it.

[elluin]

Our daughter (almost 11 months) won't take a bottle or breastmilk in a sippy cup / cup (she'll drink water from the soft nipple sippy or small cup), but she will drink some breastmilk from a straw cup. Our ped recommended never putting water in the straw cup so that she only associates it with breastmilk. So far she has only taken a couple ounces, but I haven't tested it by leaving her longer.

[CheriK]

How has he been getting milk up until now?  Have you been coming home to nurse?  It seems like it should just be getting easier, not more stressful, as he gets older and can get nutrition from solids during the day.  As long as he continues to nurse when you're together, he should be fine without other milk during the day. 

There is lots of information at kellymom about nutrition for nursling toddlers (http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/solids/toddler-foods.html).  According to her site, as long as you are still nursing 4 times in 24 hours, your nursling doesn't actually need other milk.  If you're actively trying to wean, though, you'll need to find other sources of nutrients to replace your milk.  It doesn't HAVE to be cow's milk, but that's an easy and culturally accepted source of the nutrition he'll need.

[3girls1boy]

If your child like cow's milk in a cup, at one, I wouldn't stress too much about it.  Many people continue to enjoy drinking milk (I include myself), long past weaning age.

[Marpepp]

Cherik, thanks so much for that Kelly Mom link!

I wonder if the 3-4 nurses a day, that they assume 8 ounces a meal?

[CheriK]

Originally Posted by Marpepp

I wonder if the 3-4 nurses a day, that they assume 8 ounces a meal?

I doubt it.  I did wonder that myself though, as there must be an assumption that the child is getting some average amount of milk at a nursing session.  It's usually accepted that a breastfeeding *baby* is getting 2-4 ounces at a good nursing session.  I wouldn't expect a toddler to be getting more!  I think the recommendation for cow's milk is 16-24 oz per day.  That would be about 4 ounces per nursing session, assuming (probably not a valid assumption, as nutrient levels aren't the same btwn cow and human milk, and the nutrients in human milk are more easily absorbed, but for simplicity!) that they need the same volume.

Elsewhere on the same site is this quote from Katherine Dewey (http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html ):

• In the second year (12-23 months), 448 mL of breastmilk provides:
  • 29% of energy requirements
  • 43% of protein requirements
  • 36% of calcium requirements
  • 75% of vitamin A requirements
  • 76% of folate requirements
  • 94% of vitamin B₁₂ requirements
  • 60% of vitamin C requirements
  -- Dewey 2001

448 ml of breastmilk is about 15 ounces, which would fit w/ the assumptions above.

[LeighPF]

We ended the occasional mama milk bottle at a year and introduced cow's milk in a sippy. It would take him the whole day at meals to drink an 8oz cup. We are still nursing strong at two.

-It took us a while to find a cup that worked. Lots he could not get any liquid out of. Tilties were great for the idea of tilting and since they are valveless easy to get liquid from. But they spill. Nuby bite valves were perfect when he was learning, but leak after too many bites. Now we have the Playtex standards. He has also managed a cup perfectly for drinking (with spilling and dipping for fun) since about 20 months, but we were really relaxed about using it and it could have been a lot sooner. A straw cup is a great option we never got around to trying.

-we treated cows milk as another new food for him to experiment with and make up his own mind on. It can be part of a balanced diet, but is not essential. Most of the milk recommendations you see are for not filling up entirely on it.

-we found toddler nursing to be less about hungry and more about other needs.