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Hair! White mama doesn't know what she's doing with DD's African hair :) - Page 2

post #21 of 39

Wide tooth comb. Only brush hair when wet. Always brush hair with either conditioner or lotion in it.


I'm afro-Cuban and Dominican... I have curls! My daughters have curls! My family ranges from blond/blue eyes to dark skinned with notty hair. It's okay - we're all the same. None of us knew the difference growing up. :) 


I use Pantene faithfully on my TeenBaby. She has heavy, quarter-sized spirals that reach to her waist but her hair dries out fast. My hair is less curly and more wavy but it dries puffy and frizzy. And when it's humid, forgetaboutit. We leave Pantene in our hair all day long. I tried Mixed Chicks and other "black" products but didn't like them. I don't like oily, smelly or greasy products. I don't know why all black products smell like coconut? Anyway, try the Pantene thing. During the summer I add a polymer gloss or heavy hair serum. If you mix those while the hair is wet, you'll be fine. We don't use satin pillows either. And once product is in my hair, I don't touch it. 


Pantene (regular or moisturizing)

ION hair gloss/serum

Tresemme hair mousse 




It's worked for 30 years for me! I'm sure you'll be fine! :) 


post #22 of 39

Carols daughter products are all natural and you can order them online... they have kid specific products


post #23 of 39

Seconding www.naturallycurly.com.


It's a must-see.

post #24 of 39

I'm not sure if its been mentioned but...you say you're having a hard time getting the rubber bands out? How are you taking them out?If you are using the black (or sometimes colored) small bands that come in a pack of 50/200/etc...you should be cutting those out, not trying to remove them (if you arent already doing so, get a seam ripper from the store and very carefully cut them when you remove them, so as to not cut the hair. Lots easier and little to no tangling of the hair!). I know what you mean by "gunk"..its a reaction from the oils/products with the band and causes the band to sort of melt. Its disgusting. You get all this black goo everywhere. I'm pretty much band free now with my daughter, her hair is textured enough (she is full AA) that i can just start braiding and go as far to the bottom as possible, and twist, and they pretty much stay in. If the braids are bigger i'll band at the bottom, but i dont band at the scalp anymore. Of course if you are adding beads you'll need to band at the end of the braid. The best bands seem to be the ones found at Sallys beauty supply.


I dont cornrow (yet) and usually do some variation of box braids in my daughter's hair. But i've found the larger the braid, the shorter the style lasts. She has large box braids in now (maybe about twenty?) and they frizzed just a couple days after putting them in. But when her hair was in microbraids (which im doing again now, it takes me forever...like a week...to get them all in, but she should have 200-300  when we're done!) they might last two months before looking too frizzy. And when she had yarn braids in (extentions, but using black yarn, a very protective style that left her hair in great shape), they lasted at least four months and looked almost as good when i took them out as the day i put them in.


If you want a good email list with tons of info, you could try http://groups.yahoo.com/group/adoptionhair_skincare/ primarily for moms with adopted black kids, but there are moms with bio kids on there as well, and even AA moms who never learned how to "do hair." I also second the links that a PP posted, HappyGirlHair, KeepMeCurly, etc. GREAT videos that will walk you right through everything. Also maybe look at the Tighly Curly method, many people swear by it http://www.tightlycurly.com/welcome .


As far as our routine, for my daughter we've been trying different things. For the longest time it was just straight unrefined coconut oil. I've had luck with Palmers Olive Oil formula spray (which i like to just spray all over her braids, it doesnt seem that natural and doesnt smell the greatest, more like a "product" than the all natural stuff), i like the bioinfusion line we got for cheap at Walgreens (i think), we use the leave in conditioner. I recently bought Taliah Waajid (TW) Protective Mist Bodifier which people in my list SWEAR by (you can water it down so its not thick and just spray every day for conditioning/moisture) i like it. So i just use a combo of all this stuff depending on what i want to do. She might wash her hair with conditioner once a week. Right now we just use whatever we have in the shower, but i need to investigate better ones. I think Herbal Essences (certain types maybe?) has been recommended as a cheaper conditioner you can easily obtain.


One of my sons has extremely textured hair that tangles a minute after it gets combed. So i decided to use a Nudred on his hair http://www.nudred.com/modules/content/index.php?id=1 which put his hair in little single strand twists which are now turning into nice little locs. Thats pretty low maintainance but i do need to start tightening them with a latch hook tool, and he's not going to like that. (He's 3.)


My other 3 yr old, his hair is more of a biracial type hair (though i dont know if he is BR or not), his pic is in my profile. He was my first adopted child and i kind of didnt start early enough. I've gone through periods of cutting it and letting it grow but he is really sensitive and hates to have his head touched let alone combed. He screams through hair washing. So i'm not sure what i'm going to do with it. It looks great right out of the bath but its all i can do to throw some leave in conditioner or spray it down with olive oil spray each day. Coconut oil works well but unless the weather is warm it tends to solidify in his hair and look white and flaky.




post #25 of 39

hey there,


my dd (5) has cute "kinky" curly hair and currently i am mainly using natural products like coconut oil and olive oil to care for it, wash hair only once a week with a conditioner.


i wanted to try sheabutter too and was wondering: where do you buy organic shea butter ??

post #26 of 39
I'm biracial (Irish mom, AA dad) and I have long, medium-tight curls and slightly coarse hair. When I was a kid, my mom used pantene, which worked fine, and hair gels, which made my hair super crunchy. Now, I wash about once every week or two, and rinse/brush with conditioner maybe once in between if necessary ( when my curls start to look like locs). My favorite styling product is kinky curly curling custard. It's $$$, but a little goes a long way, and the jar lasts a few months. They carry it at whole foods and some targets. I'm not picky about shampoos ( but only use a tiny amount) and most thick conditioners work for me.

This is what i do...wash, condition/brush (always leave in a few minutes). Leave hair soaking wet, add product as needed, Run fingers down individual curls/sections to separate. Do not touch! (difficult for a kid, though)
post #27 of 39
Originally Posted by whooopsy View Post


i wanted to try sheabutter too and was wondering: where do you buy organic shea butter ??

I had luck ordering some online, and I'm in Australia so if you can get it here I'm certain you will be able to find some in the US, just google 'organic shea butter'. Mine came in a huge glass tub that lasted forever. I didn't like it as much as I thought I would though, its kid of grainy and takes a lot of rubbing to get it to un-solidify.

post #28 of 39
Thread Starter 

thanks  :)  What we're doing right now that seems to be working well is conditioner washing with Dove conditioner--I'm not going to get up and go look at it right now, but it says "detangling" or "curly hair" on it, it's not just the "normal" one.  about once a week.  Whenever I think it's necessary, I shampoo first with JASON kids' shampoo--no laureth sulfate ingredients in that.  Probably ends up being  2-3 times a month?


I think I haven't used enough oil on it in the past.  I just watched her Sudanese auntie do her hair, she used a TON of oil and it looks gorgeous.  We'll see how long it stays in.  She used some stuff she got at Family Dollar, an oil and a lotion-looking product.  I read the ingredients, both appear to be a bunch of chemicals with a bit of coconut oil.


I have started using coconut oil on her, the same stuff I cook with, but wouldn't mind finding a less-costly but still unrefined product for hair and sunscreen purposes.  I think I'll stick with it, but use a LOT more of it....so far we have not had a problem with it going solid.  I can imagine that might look disgusting LOL  (I only recently started cooking with it too, that's why I never tried it out before ;) )

post #29 of 39

Two excellent sites- longhaircareforum and hairlista. Go and ask exactly what it is that you need to know or just browse. The women  are more than willing to help. And keep asking until you get it, where you need it to be.

post #30 of 39

Very useful thread for me. Thanks to everyone who shared <3

post #31 of 39

I know this thread is a little dated, but I had to share another great product.  There's a great, all-natural line called Oyin (www.oyinhandmade.com) - a family-owned business out of Baltimore, MD.  Their products are all natural and food grade - my little one is 18 months old, and still puts everything in her mouth.  Can be a little pricey, but they often have coupon codes in their podcasts and FB page. Their products use shea butter, oils, and other good moisturizers for African hair (the kid's got 100% West African hair). I use it on my hair too - we love the Hair Dew, Whipped Pudding (for hair and skin), pomade and juices for spritizing and refreshing.  But I should have thought about going the no-poo route and just using conditioner - I'm going to try that next week!


For bands, I use the smallest Goody bands - they don't turn to goo, and if they get caught, they're easy to snip out.


Anyone have luck with getting/keeping lint out of their little one's hair?  It doesn't seem to come out, even when I wash... or it might just be all the rolling around she's doing.

post #32 of 39
Not going to mimic a lot of what was already said, but I have tried and liked a little of each of Carol's Daughter and mixed chicks products, although there are pros and cons to each and I can't give them glowing recommendations but I have and do enjoy especially the hair detangler by CD and mixed chicks leave in. It is trial and error and being familiar with what ingredients are and how they react in the hair, etc. Not all mixed hair is the same, either, so again, keep trying, keep learning. Coconut oil can really come in handy, too. My greatest suggestion is the products made by this smaller company and mainly online for purchase - I can personally vouch for the amazing stuff - and it is WAY more natural than any of the above products just mentioned...these are truly homemade. http://www.oyinhandmade.com/about/

We are a black/white family and although I only have sons, they've had long curls of different types at various times and their hair is quite diff from each other, too! I've tried a lot of hairstyles and thankful that now we're in a lower maintenance spot, but I guess I'm lucky with boys I can buzz it off if I want, too! My youngest has shorter spirals right now and looks cute no matter what I do. But moisture is a friend.

I had to respond and vouch for Oyin because it is through them we've gotten our very favorite stuff. ***Greg juice, burnt sugar pomade or something, honey hemp conditioner! I dig it all. I can find ways to use on my sister in laws hair, too, and my own actually - so it may work all across the board depending on what your purpose is, yk?
post #33 of 39

I have to second the Carol's Daughter products which can also be ordered at www.carolsdaughter.com.  They are wholesome products.  Nothing icky even though she is carried by suppliers that offer it.  Also, no rubber bands.  They break the hair off because of the wave/curl pattern.  The hair simply can't tolerate them.  I hope this helps!

post #34 of 39

I'm black / polynesian and DH is white.  I'm curious to see how our little girl's hair will be textured.


Before I loc'd my hair I did no poo' (still do, actually) with an ACV rinse, used a marshmallow root detangler / conditioner (Google for recipes) and used coconut oil or jojoba for a moisturizer or deep conditioning treatment.  I've turned on several people to that routine.  One of my co-worker's recently converted and has a nice, fluffy fro now after stopping the texturizers and going no poo'.  :)


Hope you find what works best for your kiddo's hair!  My mom is black but was awful with haircare when I was a kid.  She would wash and braid my hair only once a week because it was always such a struggle.  She never combed from ends to root, so it was liked being strapped in a torture chamber for me!

post #35 of 39

Cover it when shes asleep with a silk scarf on her head--it will tangle less. Not sure what hair type your daughter has. I will say about how you think its not dry---i thought same about my daughters silky, fine curls (like jeri curl size) I was wrong. Now I only wash her hair with shampoo once a week at most. other days, I cowash wiht just conditioner, add a leave in (i like olive oil hair cream) and then a curl sealer on top. I dont bother sectioning and combing, braids or anything yet. I dont cover her head at night but it doesnt get too tangled, just fuzzy and I can add water and conditioner and its good as new.

post #36 of 39

If she's reluctant to wear the do-wrap at night, or if it doesn't stay on, you can get some benefit from using one of those slippery pillow cases.


Unfortunately happygirlhair.com is not operational anymore.  It had some fantastic video tutorials.

post #37 of 39

I am a black mama of a blond spirally curled biracial daughter. I use the same hair products and techniques for both of us. My hair is course and tightly spiralled. Here's what I do:


Wash with Organic Essence Coconut shampoo and condition in 1 to 4 sections depending on the length and thickness.

Use wide tooth comb to detangle while rinsing out conditioner.

Apply dime size squirt of almond oil and Knot Today by Kinky Curly to each section.

Twist or braid.


I only leave my own braids for 3-4 days because I sweat alot and I need to wash 2 times a week. My dd gets lots of tangles and is prone to lice, so I do her 3 times a week. Our hair is thick and full and shiny. It's not greasy.


I love almond oil. You can try coconut oil in the summer time, too.


Good luck!

post #38 of 39

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post #39 of 39

do you wrap her head at night? Try a silk scarf on her head at night. that will help

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