I'm not sure if its been mentioned but...you say you're having a hard time getting the rubber bands out? How are you taking them out?If you are using the black (or sometimes colored) small bands that come in a pack of 50/200/etc...you should be cutting those out, not trying to remove them (if you arent already doing so, get a seam ripper from the store and very carefully cut them when you remove them, so as to not cut the hair. Lots easier and little to no tangling of the hair!). I know what you mean by "gunk"..its a reaction from the oils/products with the band and causes the band to sort of melt. Its disgusting. You get all this black goo everywhere. I'm pretty much band free now with my daughter, her hair is textured enough (she is full AA) that i can just start braiding and go as far to the bottom as possible, and twist, and they pretty much stay in. If the braids are bigger i'll band at the bottom, but i dont band at the scalp anymore. Of course if you are adding beads you'll need to band at the end of the braid. The best bands seem to be the ones found at Sallys beauty supply.
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I dont cornrow (yet) and usually do some variation of box braids in my daughter's hair. But i've found the larger the braid, the shorter the style lasts. She has large box braids in now (maybe about twenty?) and they frizzed just a couple days after putting them in. But when her hair was in microbraids (which im doing again now, it takes me forever...like a week...to get them all in, but she should have 200-300Â when we're done!) they might last two months before looking too frizzy. And when she had yarn braids in (extentions, but using black yarn, a very protective style that left her hair in great shape), they lasted at least four months and looked almost as good when i took them out as the day i put them in.
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If you want a good email list with tons of info, you could try http://groups.yahoo.com/group/adoptionhair_skincare/ primarily for moms with adopted black kids, but there are moms with bio kids on there as well, and even AA moms who never learned how to "do hair." I also second the links that a PP posted, HappyGirlHair, KeepMeCurly, etc. GREAT videos that will walk you right through everything. Also maybe look at the Tighly Curly method, many people swear by it http://www.tightlycurly.com/welcome .
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As far as our routine, for my daughter we've been trying different things. For the longest time it was just straight unrefined coconut oil. I've had luck with Palmers Olive Oil formula spray (which i like to just spray all over her braids, it doesnt seem that natural and doesnt smell the greatest, more like a "product" than the all natural stuff), i like the bioinfusion line we got for cheap at Walgreens (i think), we use the leave in conditioner. I recently bought Taliah Waajid (TW) Protective Mist Bodifier which people in my list SWEAR by (you can water it down so its not thick and just spray every day for conditioning/moisture) i like it. So i just use a combo of all this stuff depending on what i want to do. She might wash her hair with conditioner once a week. Right now we just use whatever we have in the shower, but i need to investigate better ones. I think Herbal Essences (certain types maybe?) has been recommended as a cheaper conditioner you can easily obtain.
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One of my sons has extremely textured hair that tangles a minute after it gets combed. So i decided to use a Nudred on his hair http://www.nudred.com/modules/content/index.php?id=1 which put his hair in little single strand twists which are now turning into nice little locs. Thats pretty low maintainance but i do need to start tightening them with a latch hook tool, and he's not going to like that. (He's 3.)
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My other 3 yr old, his hair is more of a biracial type hair (though i dont know if he is BR or not), his pic is in my profile. He was my first adopted child and i kind of didnt start early enough. I've gone through periods of cutting it and letting it grow but he is really sensitive and hates to have his head touched let alone combed. He screams through hair washing. So i'm not sure what i'm going to do with it. It looks great right out of the bath but its all i can do to throw some leave in conditioner or spray it down with olive oil spray each day. Coconut oil works well but unless the weather is warm it tends to solidify in his hair and look white and flaky.
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