3 y.o. complaining that her vagina hurts. :( Any ideas? - Page 2

[CrunchyMama19]

Originally Posted by Snowflake777 

Thanks again for the replies. It could well be the clothes or not wiping herself well enough, or both.

This was the case with my DD1 (now 4). We really have to make sure she wipes AND washes her hands every time. The hand washing is important since she is always outside or in the garden digging around. Since we have gotten diligent at enforcing both (we really have to check EVERY time she uses the toilet) this complaint has gone away.

[NiteNicole]

Originally Posted by onyxravnos 

it could also be from not washing well during baths. teach her how to open and wash her vulva well during baths.

I thought the opposite was true - washing that aggressively will cause discomfort and dryness?

[sunnygir1]

Originally Posted by NiteNicole 

I thought the opposite was true - washing that aggressively will cause discomfort and dryness?

I'm with you.  I think sitting in a bath, especially with baking soda, and maybe a little swishing is all that is needed.  I would never teach a small child to "open and wash her vulva".  I only teach her to be very gentle when she touches herself and to never put soap on her bottom.
 

[Imakcerka]

SOAPS!  Get rid of bubble bath and all harsh soaps.  My girls were in pain everytime they used bubble bath or if they used any soap with dye or fragrance.  Bar soap was out, and then we had to forgo the liquid soap.  I actually started buying them sensitive feminine soap.  It says for adults only but after 6 months of use and no complaints ... I'm sticking with it.  Pain free for 6 months!

[nextcommercial]

Soaps are brutal for girls.  

I would pour a half cup or so of vinegar in her tub and let her play in the tub for 20 minutes or longer.  We never used soaps.  At the end of her bath we drained the tub then I washed her hair and rinsed it so she wasn't sitting in the soapy water.

[SilverFish]

no soap for sure, but still, opening the lips and rinsing well with water is going to help, especially if there are sloppy wiping jobs happening, plus sweat, grime etc. 

[ghannit]

My DD has complained of discomfort on various occasions. An easy solution/cure has always been to avoid soap altogether, or just shampoo hair and then rinse, and then fill the tub with plain water and some baking soda for a soak. Another handy trick has been to boil water, let cool and then fill a small spray bottle with the water and a few drops of tea tree oil. After a pee (and always after a poop), use the spray to get the area clean. Then dry well of course.

I agree with the suggestion for probiotics.

[triana1326]

My 3 y/o DD complained of her yoni hurting a lot at the beginning of summer. It was my DH that solved the riddle - sand. We would rinse off feet and legs when we came home from the beach every day, but wouldn't do a full-out bath until that evening or even the next day...

Once we discovered it was because of the sand from the beach, she was fine. Just a thought...HTH

[LROM]

Since the doc already looked and didn't see anything obviously concerning, it sounds like it may very well be one of the PPs ideas: soap, self-exploration, some other irritant.

But I just wanted to chime in on one of the first PPs including abuse in the list even though it's unlikely.  OP you said it wasn't possible because she's not alone with anyone long enough for that to be an issue.  And I have no reason to doubt that that's true, but it still feels important to ask you if you asked her simply whether anyone else touches here there or not or whether anyone has hurt her there and see what she says.

I totally get not wanting to be alarmist, and not wanting to freak yourself or dd out.  And maybe you did already ask her that and you just didn't say so here.  But the fact that you don't think she's alone with anyone else long enough for that to be in an issue does not remove the fact that in this kind of case, especially when so far you haven't identified exactly what the problem is, it is *always* a good idea to ask (in a non-alarmist, kinda light way - but in a clear way) "Honey, does anyone ever touch you there?" and just see what she says.  If she says no and doesn't seem in any way troubled by you asking, cool, move on, cross that off the list because now you've asked and she's been calm and fine about her answer.

But as someone who works for CPS, I have to say that sometimes when child abuse is confirmed, there is a parent or family member who swore up and down that it was impossible.  And sometimes it really, truly is their impression that there wasn't the opportunity, but in the end they were wrong about that.  So I guess I want to explain why even though you feel it's impossible, it's still worth checking on at least a little since so far no other definite cause for her pain has been confirmed yet.

Based on the doc saying they didn't see anything concerning, sounds most likely that this isn't the issue (sometimes there is physical evidence of abuse, some times there isn't).  But it made me nervous that you may not have asked your dd about it in any way to make sure she didn't seem upset or troubled when that idea is brought up. 

By the way, for those worried about upsetting your dd, most younger kids who are not being abused will either not even regoster the question (if asked in a non-anxious, non-alarmist way) or just find it curious.  And older kids you can obviously explain why you're asking and that you don't want to freak them out, but you also want to remind them that they can and should tell you if ever anyone is doing something to them that they don't want or are afraid to tell you about.

Hope you find the cause soon and that it's as easy as changing soaps or changing the kind of undies she wears.