DD freaks when DH and I touch.

[Ldavis24]

Thats it in a nutshell. DD (20 months) flips out whenever DH and I touch each other.

For example, DH and I will hug while DD is playing and she will see us get up, run over and scream loudly in protest then pull on one of our legs and shout 'UPPEE". Her way of asking to be picked up. She shrieks whenever DH and I hug, kiss, hold hands etc. We cannot be affectionate in front of her because she immediately starts screaming and crying and runs over to demand to be picked up. We have tried not picking her up and she goes into a huge tailspin of a fit. She starts sobbing hysterically.

My first thought is that she thinks that DH is hurting me (we have never been physically violent in front of her, we aren't like that anyway). So we make a point to use happy voices and be smiley and happy while DH and I show affection in her presence. Doesn't make a difference. 

This is our first LO and I was thinking maybe it is totally typical, toddlers are little ego maniacs anyway maybe she just feels like she needs all the attention? It is driving DH crazy because we cannot get a hug or a kiss in unless it is a rapid peck or something. Our little tyrant makes sure we don't get a chance to do anything until she is asleep. 

She gets so upset at us I feel like she thinks DH is killing me or something. We have in the past yelled at each other in her presence and she not surprisingly gets very very upset when that had happened but we have really stopped having arguments with raised voices in front of her. We make it a point to not yell because she gets extremely upset. Is it some kind of residual anxiety from having seen up fight periodically? It makes her very very upset to see us touching and I hate that but I also want to be able to hug my husband for more than 10 seconds without having to rush to deal with a freaking out toddler.

[Rani]

It is very typical or let me restate to say...my DD did it too. I think its a bit of territory going on.   We both wore her, I breast fed, tho pumped some so DH could give her a bottle later on and so daycare had milk for her. But it was years before she stopped trying to get between us when we hugged.

It passed..we would hug, she would run between us, we would group hug....

[belltree]

I thought this is normal toddler behavior. Most toddlers I know go between their parents, when they hug and kiss. I always thought they just don't want to miss out on anything and want to be included; so we make it a point of doing family hugs and kisses. Every time, ds (15months) runs towards us and starts pulling on our legs, we pick him up, but continue the hug and kiss, while including him.

[Ldavis24]

Originally Posted by Rani 

It is very typical or let me restate to say...my DD did it too. I think its a bit of territory going on.   We both wore her, I breast fed, tho pumped some so DH could give her a bottle later on and so daycare had milk for her. But it was years before she stopped trying to get between us when we hugged.

It passed..we would hug, she would run between us, we would group hug....

we pick her up sometimes and do group kisses and hugs where we both attack her with kisses until she laughs and squirms to get away. 

The screaming and crying furiously is what shocks me. She just gets so so upset about it. Poor DH has to steal hugs and kisses.

[Marissamom]

my 21 month old DD does this too. and yeah, it's a territorial/don't want to miss out thing, not a "I think he's hurting mommy" thing. we just include her for a while (then she usually gets bored and we can have some hugs and snuggles without her)